“Why are you so stupid, huh? I stayed up all night wondering just how it could be that you are so stupid. I’m sure it was your stupidity that caused your husband to leave you.”

Zulieka

i told fil we are going to drink champagne and listen to the new philosopher king’s cd that i haven’t opened yet. who knows maybe it is a good cd? i got it for free. fil is not a fan. well we will give it a listen and then give it away and then whoever gets it can listen to it and then give it away also it will be like some stupid thing in a movie like THE NOTEBOOK that is a continuous reoccuring thing of gayness or uh the sisterhood of the travelling pants and the red violin except don’t go to any store with it in your bag cos they didn’t demagnetise it, elizabeth had one too and we had to take the entire case apart and destroy it in a le chateau and i was thinking wow if we actually stole this cd then this chick is watching us opening it up out of the plastic and throw away the magnet thing and she is totally buying our “got it for free last nite” story.

anyway yeh who the fuck would steal a philospoher king’s cd?

we are going to drink cheap champagne tonite and eat japanese food and maybe rent a movie cos me and fil will not be hanging out tomorrow nite and i am moody sick annoying and if i don’t get my way i am very very very ungh i dunno super-annoying like i will ignore you and give you the silent treatment and sigh a lot and when you ask me wat’s wrong i will snap and be like IT SHOULD BE FUCKING OBVIOUS WHY I AM UPSET AND NOW THERE IS ANOTHER REASON WHY I AM UPSET IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU NOT KNOWING WHY I AM UPSET IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN READ MINDS!?!?!? and when i say you i mean fil.

poor fil.

not like he is losing out on having to drink champagne and eat japanese food and rent a movie with me except he has to hang out with me.

and i get to be sometimes like i have zero patience, i guess it’s payback for when fil answers my question with a question. i screamed in the car OH MY GOD SHUT UP with my hands over my ears like i was 4 cos i can’t stand it anymore i dunno how i tuned it out before.

he’ll come home and casually ask what went on today on the www. and i will be like MY GOD FUCKING LOOK FOR YOURSELF cos i’ll be sitting in the same spot for a million hours and the first person i come into contact with i assault with my shut-in wrath.

no wonder nerds are fucking irritable snobby pieces of shit.

anyway hi fil i love you.

knee in my package video

i feel like writing poetry right now because i am an emotional sickly ant and i am too weak to bathe and it’s funny how when you are sick you are at the peak of eccentricity like i want to wear a fancy dress and lie upside down on the couch with my head on the floor because it seems like a good idea?

i started writing a poem but it was really bad.

when i was doing blow i tried writing and this is what i wrote:

coke poem:

i have written too much already

and that was it.

i’m hungry but also not, my stomache feels empty and full and

talking about this is stupid.

25 peeps arg. click that i put the wrong url before.

raymi says:

so have you been a skinhead all your life?

foffwankers says:

since i was 14

foffwankers says:

are you bi sexual?

raymi says:

are you against that also?

foffwankers says:

no?,,,,i like bi sexual girls

raymi says:

ok well this interview is about you not me so what happened when you were fourteen to make you want to be white supremacist?

foffwankers says:

i don’t know….and who said i’m a white supremacist?…i’m not a biggot….i just believe in nationalism

raymi says:

oh. i asked if you were and you said yes explain what you mean by nationalism

raymi says:

but you are prejudice right and you think that races shouldn’t mix? like you think we are running out of white people

foffwankers says:

i don’t believe in race mixing…..nationalism..like…they let too many immigrants in this country..theres not enough jobs for canadians(real citizens)and we buy too many products from other countries when we could be making them here and creating jobs….being nationalist to me is buying products made in canada,…and our government gives too much money to other countries like africa…..when theres poor people here not eating

raymi says:

well then the poor people should get themselves jobs what does helping out poor countries have to do with it

raymi says:

did you know that there was a pill made to treat hiv or aids and it would cost 1 dollar to buy but george bush banned it cos he wanted the people in africa to buy the expensive one, what do you think about that

raymi says:

what’s wrong with race mixing?

foffwankers says:

i hate george bush….and i just don’t believe in race mixing…because there aren’t enough white people

raymi says:

do you realise how ridiculous that sounds

raymi says:

who put all this crazy crap into your head when you were fourteen?

foffwankers says:

anyway i don’t push my beliefs on anyone…..i just hate everything

raymi says:

what if you were the last guy in the world and there was also a black woman and you had to make a baby to populate the earth, would you do it?

foffwankers says:

no

raymi says:

what do you think about gay people, fags specifically

foffwankers says:

i think its sick that a man can be attracted by another mans hairy ass

raymi says:

what if you had a son who was gay

foffwankers says:

thats his problem and i have a son…..hes not gay

raymi says:

what if he was gay and he was afraid to tell you, wouldnt that make you feel bad that your son is afraid to open up to his own dad?

raymi says:

i think your politics would disappear in the situation with you and the black girl, your boner would decide for you

foffwankers says:

hes not afraid of anything…..hes very open minded

raymi says:

what do you think of what hitler did

foffwankers says:

what did he do? kill jews?

raymi says:

yes, ethnic cleansing

foffwankers says:

i don’t think its right to kill anyone for no reason

foffwankers says:

he should have sent them to russia or something

raymi says:

do you think hitler was misunderstood

raymi says:

he shouldnt have sent them anywhere!

foffwankers says:

yes he should have….there was too many in his country

raymi says:

that’s so retarded, anyway, do you think the jews distorted history

foffwankers says:

cause jews only buy off jews and do favors for other jews…..jews are very racist

raymi says:

ok well how about the white man taking away the indians land?

foffwankers says:

that was a war….we won

raymi says:

no it wasnt we fucked over the indians, gave em booze for their land and took their shoes

raymi says:

white people are very racist

foffwankers says:

every race is racist

raymi says:

the white man invented racism

foffwankers says:

cmon….thats bullshit

raymi says:

it’s true

raymi says:

what about when we made black people sit in the back of the bus?

foffwankers says:

no its not…..racism is natural…..thats why we look different

foffwankers says:

we were made for war and working

raymi says:

no we weren’t we were made to exist peacefully besides you should like jewish people for their nationalist non-assimilating nature

foffwankers says:

why do you think….in all religions…the gods are giants….and warriors….if you ever read history you would know

raymi says:

i have and i dont believe in god or any religion thats crap to scare children also i think racism is a sign of unintelligence

foffwankers says:

neither do i…..but i believe in some history…..and it all goes back to giants ruling the earth…..then we took over

raymi says:

that sounds like a fairytale

foffwankers says:

and those giants were the ones that made us

raymi says:

you dont believe in god but you believe in giants?

foffwankers says:

yes

raymi says:

do you get boners looking at black porn cos it’s suppose to be wrong

foffwankers says:

i don’t watch black porn

raymi says:

well you catch yourself thinking about it and then you feel guilty right

foffwankers says:

black chicks don’t turn me on….ok

raymi says:

interbreeding is in your dna coding

raymi says:

the nation of islam is linked with the murder of malcolm x

foffwankers says:

so

raymi says:

i dunno where i was going with that

raymi says:

so tell me what happened when you were fourteen, who brainwashed you

foffwankers says:

brainwashed?…..no one

raymi says:

well then why did you decide to be nationalist, you must’ve met someone to tell you all this crap

foffwankers says:

no i always liked nazis…..for the evilness

foffwankers says:

since i was a little kid

raymi says:

is your dad a racist?

foffwankers says:

no…..but i never saw him with a black guy

raymi says:

i heard about slavemasters having sex with their slaves and making mixed race babies

raymi says:

do you know anything about that

foffwankers says:

why are you telling me that….i don’t give a fuck

raymi says:

why are mixed race dog breeds the healthiest dogs? and the inbred ones have the most disease

foffwankers says:

because dogs don’t really exist….they were made from wolves and foxes….if you know what i mean

raymi says:

no i dont but thats ok

raymi says:

what if you needed a blood transfusion cos u were gonna die but there was only jewish blood or black blood or pakistani blood which would you choose and you HAVE to choose you are somehow unable to die

foffwankers says:

i would die

raymi says:

you cant, dying is not allowed

foffwankers says:

i don’t care if i die

raymi says:

fine

raymi says:

ok tell me some of your best racist jokes

foffwankers says:

i don’t have any

raymi says:

WHAT i don’t believe that

raymi says:

does your son play with kids who arent black

foffwankers says:

yes

foffwankers says:

there are none here

raymi says:

what if he brought home a chinese girl?

foffwankers says:

i would say sucky fucky long time

raymi says:

oh my god that’s mean you know

foffwankers says:

lol

raymi says:

what if she was super fucking hot

foffwankers says:

so….thats his choice

raymi says:

is your mom racist

raymi says:

do you have friends who are more nationalist than you? do you have meetings?

foffwankers says:

i don’t know….shes dead

raymi says:

oh sorry about that

foffwankers says:

its ok….and my friends are like me….but yes i know others that are a bit extreme

raymi says:

do they do bad things to people who arent white

raymi says:

what would you do if a black guy was flirting with you

foffwankers says:

i would punch him in the head any guy

raymi says:

have you ever been punched in the head?

foffwankers says:

yes….many times

raymi says:

what does it feel like

foffwankers says:

i don’t feel it too much adrenaline

raymi says:

why did you get punched in the head

foffwankers says:

for many reasons…..once i was walking down st catherine st…in montreal,,i saw a gang of skinheads…..so i approached them….but they were redskins….they jumped me….10 of them

raymi says:

what is a redskin

foffwankers says:

commies

raymi says:

oh

raymi says:

did you cry when you were punched in the head

foffwankers says:

no?

raymi says:

yes?

raymi says:

what?

foffwankers says:

why would i cry?

raymi says:

cos crying is a nice thing

raymi says:

do you know any skinhead jokes i got one for you – how do you stop a skinhead from drowning?

foffwankers says:

shoot him?

raymi says:

take your foot off his head

foffwankers says:

ha ha?

raymi says:

what do you call a skinhead in university? a janitor.

foffwankers says:

are you trying to insult me?….you don’t like skinheads do you?

raymi says:

no im being funny and showing that theres a joke about everything

foffwankers says:

i have friends that are doctors and lawyers

raymi says:

so black people are doctors and lawyers

raymi says:

im not trying to offend you

raymi says:

sorry if i did and no i don’t hate skinheads

foffwankers says:

ok

raymi says:

ok i think this pretty much sums it up

foffwankers says:

but youre gonna make me look stupid in your article?

raymi says:

no im just cutting and pasting our conversation im not changing what was said

foffwankers says:

ok

today’s insecurity is me thinking about getting a nose job.

i am going to find my skinhead interview and put it up today you will LOVE IT.

then maybe i will go on yahoo chat and convince people i am jewish?

i feel very sick like hallucinatory sick i might have got something from the hospital i guess i should stop picking my nose.

i will be 23 years old in four days that means FRIDAY MARCH 31.

my throat feels awful and i am very weak but not weak enough that i couldn’t kick a ninja’s ass if he flew threw the window. i’d be all who do you think you are jackie chan and he would laugh and then we’d drink tea.

i forgot to tell you about the in-flight safety show. it was magical and i swooned and fil exploded and i reminded him about how he was looking at emily haines with “admiration” not too long back.

and i am not jealous of her despite it seeming so cos i write about her like everday. in the beginning i was and when fil went to the concert without me i was like WHAT WAS SHE WEARING and he said just a t-shirt and pants and i was like THAT FUCKING SLUT! haha. girls who wear t-shirts and are skinny are playing the i-am-so-amazing-i-don’t-have-to-dress-up role and like wearing a t-shirt is them basically calling me a fucking whore who wears too much eye make-up.

anyway in-flight safety sound like sigur ros and i cried a little bit when john sings pretty. when we chatted before the show i was like heeeeeeey and he didn’t recognize me at first and i said WELL WE ARE PRACTICALLY BEST FRIENDS ON MYSPACE. that’s me name-dropping. he said he liked my outfit and was all “layered” and i said LAYERED MADNESS which is an inside-joke i have with myself and if you really want to know you can email me. sigh.

this might piss you off. i know it would piss me off. and likely to start a I DON’T COPY HER SHE IS FUCKING INSANE BLEARHBLAAAAH WHITE TRASH SLUT BLAAAAAAA thing.

anyway i am on 25peeps.com so keep me there by continuously clicking on my picture. oh click other people too.