so fil be buggin’ me about writing song lyrics and i finally do it and they turn out to be the WORST lyrics ever. so here they are. i will caps lock them for effect.
TEN DAYS OVERTHROWN THE CITY, THE TOWN, THE LOCALS OUTGROWN THE COBBLESTONES BLANKETED WITH CHILDREN, WITH FEAR THE ELDERS ALL SCREAMING THE END IT IS NEAR FIRE FROM WINDOWS AND GLASS ALL AROUND THE STREETS ARE A BUSTLE WITH MEN FIRING ROUNDS ONE WOMAN A WIDOW BEFORE HER MAN’S OUT THE DOOR PULLED BY HIS FEET HIS NAILS CLAWING AT THE FLOOR
i stopped there cos i was pretty impressed with myself so i read them to fil and he was the opposite of impressed. i pictured some kind of sing-songy arts and crafts too doo loo thing to go with it but now all i can think of is the lord of the rings and joan of arc so fuck it.
fil took all the pillows away from me and then had the most boring loudest conversation on the fone so now i am awake despite staying up ’til 2 reading.
last nite i met with samir to discuss our movie. i read him the song lyrics i wrote that fil said sounded like RUSH so we ended up singing them all nite long. then i bumped into the girl who hooked me up with working online and she told me i had called my old roommate whilst in LA and totally manic and mumbled a bunch of crap at him like i was on meth, woah. also my other roommate left him with a 400 phone bill, not cool! i said the yeah it’s good to see you line and she played up the being weirded-out role pretty well and said i had tried to sleep with her boyfriend, not true. yes i slipped him my number behind her back and no they weren’t dating she had bumped into him at a bar previous to the party we were at, also he told her what i did and she chastised me, granted, but he still fucking called me a week later, whatever, fucking weird. i was drunk and thought it was a good idea at the time.
samir and i fought about celebrity-dom last nite and he told a super long story about doing this movie with a bunch of stars in LA and said it meant nothing and me, drunklor loud-talking at the beaconsfield say that’s cos you don’t know what minimal celebrity-dom feels like, I DO! AND I WANT MORE!
he says he would just rather have tons of money and i agree but i think being a celebrity is the easiest way to go about it, i don’t have to type out any formal documents or use a protractor, i think i just want the money and the lifestyle because i am greedy.
i finally went outside, by myself. i think once thursday rolls around i feel ok enough to venture outdoors during the day. yesterday was scary windy and snowy and rainy so there was no way i was going out. i went to the pharmacy to get some things. walking back here i thought to myself man i really do hate being outside, looking at people around me who seem to be thrilled and thriving on this, this outside air and way into walking and talking and me, i want to be invisible and non-existant. this girl asked me in elementary school why i always look at the ground when i walk and i was like huh? she was right, i was a total live in my head nerd thinking up weird shit and ignoring the entire universe.
it’s cos i’m a mad intellect, genius maybe, i can’t be looking at things and thinking up masterpieces at the same time, doii.
looking at things is for stupid people, smart people look at the ground.
notice how sometimes i say purposeful ignorant things? yeah, rad.
we watched four brothers last nite and it was good in the respects that it was bad and a lot of cheesy cliche things happened.
here are some raymi facts because well, me! some you may know already but i don’t care.
- my dad taught me how to ride my bike without training wheels and i rode it to my friend o’neil’s house and his little brother answered and i said I CAN RIDE WITHOUT TRAINING WHEELS NOW! and left without waiting for o’neil and rode around some more.
- we had a siamese cat named mocha she was awesome, when my mum brought her home i said LET’S NAME HER SANDWICH!
- i was the valedictorian of my elementary school (kindergarden to grade 8) and i plan to milk that for the rest of my life.
- my brother use to shoot gi.joe missiles into my dollhouse after i would spend three hours arranging everything perfectly.
- my brother use to go LAUREN LAUREN LAUREN LAUREN LAUREN and point in my face and say YOU LOOK LIKE….MY LITTLE PONY! and i wanted to murder him.
- i put a junior mint up my nose once and it melted and exploded down my nasal passage ever since i hate chocolate mint flavor.
- i played soccer when i was in grade one and our team never scored a goal but we were really good at kicking the ball into our own net.
- on the way to the soccer pizza party where they handed out trophies to the loser kids my dad got a speeding ticket.
- an earwig fell into my mouth once.
- i told my grade five teacher in front of the entire class that black people drive black cars and she was south african and her husband was black, which i did not know at the time.
- i pick my nose.
- when people touch the chair i am sitting on it means they have a death wish.
- after a few drinks i cannot control the volume of my voice and my hearing gets a little weak which means i talk even louder.
- at the community centre in the complex we use to live in i lied and said i was allergic to raisins cos i didn’t want to eat the raisin cookies we were making i wanted the chocolate chip ones and then sherri our babysitter, same youth leader whatever asked my brother if it was true if i was allergic to raisins and i heard from the kitchen and flew into the livingroom with my arms out like an airplane screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHAWN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- the same babysitter let us watch new jack city, i was four.
