i’m getting sick.

of all one hundred thousand tea bags here, not one, contains caffeine.

this angers me.

some people never go crazy.
me, sometimes I’ll lie down behind the couch
for 3 or 4 days.
they’ll find me there.
it’s Cherub, they’ll say, and
they pour wine down my throat
rub my chest
sprinkle me with oils.
then, I’ll rise with a roar,
rant, rage -
curse them and the universe
as I send them scattering over the
lawn.
I’ll feel much better,
sit down to toast and eggs,
hum a little tune,
suddenly become as lovable as a
pink
overfed whale.
some people never go crazy.
what truly horrible lives
they must lead.

i think i finally found my true calling in life.

email from my mum.

Did you and Phil say I need new winter tires. Will you all buy me some? I could die in a snow storm and then who would you have to torment?

my new obsession is spying on women who knit things and discuss knitting sweaters for their babies and tiny little knitted wombs.

ok well i think that i’ve done all my chores and obligations for today so now i’m going to hit that left over wine and watch closer and pretend that i am witty like clive owen. oh and i am also having a good hair day today.

and all the tattoo girls at the coffeeshop hate me because they are three feet tall and i am an amazon and i always pay in nickels and dimes and i always ALWAYS always look fucked up. and they all have crushes on fil and i am his evil witch girlfriend.

NYUH nyuh NYuHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ps. this is what the cover of my next book looks like. also that painting will be for sale at canzine.

genius!

revolutionary!