fil said that in most ways i have the maturity of a 12 year old boy cos i try and shower every other day only, sometimes every two days if my hair is looking awesome enough. he also said that it was cos i don’t know how to take care of myself and if it wasn’t for him i’d have hay in my hair and mis-matched clothes and this whole conversation began once he saw how much toothpaste i use, which is a gigantic dollop.
and of course this is coming from a guy so fucking anal that if you touch his towel before he’s finished showering, he won’t use it.
he says my clothes are never clean and i say well if i had a proper space to store them they wouldn’t be in a mountain on the floor and then it’d be easier to keep track of what was clean and what was dirty.
you should see fil’s closet, he’s like inspector gadget, colour co-ordinated t-shirts hung neatly it makes me CRAZY.
we went to the drive in last nite and saw the cave which is pretty fucking bad and then we saw the exorcism of emily rose which wasn’t too bad at all. we got trashed and i went pee a million times.
i am at an internet cafe and fil is eating a big sandwich and there is a man here across from me and it is like the first time he has ever used a computer before because he keeps slamming the keyboard really hard and his mouse and i think i am going to lose my mind if he doesn’t stop it. the guy seems to be really stressed out though i don’t know why.
yesterday at mel’s diner on bloor for breakfast me and noel and sarah had to share a table with this knucklehead and his friend and they were having the gayest conversation ever. they were saying stuff like “the organization” and “differentiating themselves” and “they’re boring that girl out” and the knucklehead was wearing a suit and he was complaining about some company that wasn’t calling him back and he wanted to volunteer for it and was willing to work for free and it was a company that recycles bikes for poor kids.
whatever.
when they first sat down the knucklehead was all braggy about bringing this guy to this diner and was like in montreal this play is so-so but here in toronto it is the greatest thing that has ever happened because it’s open 24/7 and my head almost exploded of rage and i wanted to call him a fucking liar and then he got mad at his friend for not ordering a sandwich WITH A PICKLE because he was worried about his friend missing out on pickles cos he no longer lives in montreal.
i was like SARAH EAT FASTER.
i was so mad and annoyed because there is nothing more irritating than some dink in a work suit who is unemployed who talks like he knows what is really going on in the city and where all the kids love to eat and then throws out terms like “the organization” like fuck, i’m hungover, go away.
this girl who works here at the cafe just said that she wanted to kill herself. alright, my kind of place.
yesterday fil identified with a minority at A&W when she sighed and said she was tired and he said, “I feel you.”
i finally picked up all my shit from my place downtown and my cousin completely trashed the room and upon moving in he had the audacity to ask me if i was clean. anyway i got my longboard back so now i don’t have to sit around being 200lbs anymore.
i had the worst sleep ever last nite and my stomache is hungry. i think that i drank the planet as well. we rented crash and it is rather stressful, and racist and the way it is set up something tells me that the magnolia guy has something to do with it. i dunno. i’m going to try fasting. i like how they give starving a different name to call itself so people feel vindicated and not fucking retarded.
Hey Raymi! I Hope this actually reaches you…I mean from the looks of this book you get a few nut bags….so….
Anyways, after a few veiled threats to cafe Press i finally was able to be the first kid on my block to own my own Dear Raymi Chinpoko man book…
Good things: Interesting seeing some of the letters sent to ya. That guy talking about the brown elders…interesting…
oh and my fave “Dear Raymi, How Many ppl have you fucked. I’ve had 50 or so 4-5 were virgins. Lynn”
i might know Lynn come to think of it….She was my grade 10 science teacher…hey i can embellish right?
the pics were very well selected to. I still don’t get the french hamburger thing, but i’m pretty thick so.
Well I like it all, but thought it would’ve been cool if you had put in your response/thoughts to some of the letters…i doubt i am breaking any trail here in suggesting this and sure you have your own reasons for not throwing anything like that in there.
but hey. i’ve been reading your blog for a while…you are a fucking riot…you’re known for your writing? why isn’t any of that stuff in there?
you might recall i saw you at the Arizona’s show in st.caths… you were pretty drunk and hitting on me, (it was kind of embarassing actually) but i told you that i had sent your link to some friends overseas in England and Australia and to my Serb/Croat gf known as the Outlaw.All of them agree you are a real artist.
When i first ever commented on your site i said it was funny stuff, and you replied, “really why don’t you get it made into a book.” trust me if i knew how i would.
So wtf? get those stories out there. or do stand up or something…
i’ve included some photos, one of me reading (well i’m not really reading cuz my lips aren’t moving in the pic) and one of the prestigious company i keep your book in in my study (aka, the bathroom)…
you’ll notice i had your book on the go at the same time as Dan Browns Deception Point, and the graphic novel for Batman No Man’s Land (which is a lot like what is going on in New Orleans right now.)
Of those 3 your’s and the Comic book are the best reads…so for what it’s worth from me to you. Well done.
Raymi seriously, you got some talent. I don’t give a shit if you’re naked on your site or not. Seriously. your site is a laugh and a half and i always look forward to seeing how you might have gone off on some kids in a movie theater. you take some everyday thoughts and make great posts of them…you do a lot more than that but i just really can’t articulate my fave moments on your site.
so yeah i like your book (even though it’s pink and being a straight guy living alone that takes some comfort in one’s self to display in the open) but i hope you write/publish some of YOUR stuff soon.
Oh last thing. if you’re still reading which i doubt..nice trailer crasher sketch! Hack!!!
I CAN’T REALLY SAY THAT cuz i stole it from the edge’s site…”become and inside member today!”
well hope all is well with you and phil and the cat.
and the next time you see me at a show or in the tdot don’t let our uncomfortable meeting in st.caths intimdate you. water under the bridge i promise…
keep writing/blogging, and i’ll keep promoting you to my friends (both of them!)
From : james Sent : September 14, 2005 1:28:59 AM To : parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com Subject : RE: we were meant to be yes we were
At it again. Why do you keep coming up? Maybe its the vodka… Maybe it s fayte because clearly were meant to be, but more than likely its the gaddamn absinthe. This devils brew was drawn from the urin of lucifer himself.
It is currently film fest time. I am drimking with fancy people who ge tflashbulbs pointwed at them. That means only two tings. They think they’re famouser than me, and I think thweyre poseurs. After doing me best to lay waste toa yuppie party ( therew were sweater-vests in attendance) I stumbled upon a private rom. There were several lost looking souls and a single bottle in the centre of the circle they formed. The blonde I’d been hitting on took the bottle and poured this mysrerious liquid over a spoonfull of sugar and some ice. I was told to chug it. In complete absence of fear, I did as I was told. Upon contact of the juice with my body my entire neck siezed. Ever muscle contracted…. Lord I like this. Being completely ocd, I had to do it again.
And again.
This is a good idea I think.
3 hours I think have passed since I started this message. Mr absenthe is about t send me a bill for his services. Is this it for our hero?
Barrf. I feel better. Disclaimer:
Absinthe is not to be effed with. It WILL make you take off you pants in pablic. Damn those were good pants. Good thing for jackets else my drunkmaildoodad would be lost. Did I mention I look very respectable and non scary tonight?
Vanity fair wants to know – what’s on the mind of americas youth today? Write my next mastwerpiece for me now monkey
