yesterday on the patio with fil and another woman who talks a lot and is boring and doesn’t make the conversation focus on me so i totally zoned out and thought of a short story idea that is pretty gay and i asked for a pen and she didn’t have one and fil desperate for the woman to shut up asked me the idea and i said oh it’s a story about this rich weird lady who lives all alone in this small town and she like has all this money and she buys a golf cart and drives it around town to buy groceries. best. story. idea. ever.
right now fil is pretending to be slash in the living room with his guitar and outside you can still hear all this shitty jazz music playing, i fucking swear after this weekend i never ever want to hear jazz music again, ever.
Hi, I have read your article on being a slut I am a good looking guy, 25 years, and I do have girlfriend(23) I love her and she loves me, but I do really think a lot and get very excited about idea that she wears miniskirts and flirts and is a slut like you are writing about….could you help me please with some typs how to help her to do it, what to do with her, where to go with her, what to buy her…emagine yourself…girls know what girls like you know and that is whay I am asking you…. Thank you very much J.
yesterday i took two crazy pills instead of one by accident and it totally fucked me up and made me sleep 4 solid hours. won’t be doing that ever again. then we ventured out to walk around the jazz festival and sit on different makeshift patios and tried to point out cool looking people which was damn near impossible so we decided to criticize at least one thing about every single person that walked by then we bumped into hannah and chris and two other chicks andthen one other older woman they work with who was following them around and was completely STRANGE and not even in a fun way and she was also 3 feet tall and in the beginning she wouldn’t even speak just use her hands and arms to gesture and act out what she meant then we traipsed over to this girl’s apartment and inhaled all of her helium balloons and then the short weirdo came over to me and said OK WE NEED TO CLEAN THIS UP RIGHT AWAY and she took my balloon and threw it out but left all the other balloons as they were.
and yes we were retarded/crunked and drank in the street in front of cops and then played tambourine frisbee and the cops said to get out of the street cos it was open for traffic but when they went around the corner we went right back on playing and two minutes later they roll up WITH BACKUP and a van and all jump out and asked us which ones wanted to be arrested for drunk in public and so we scattered and fil got angry cos he knows his rights or whatever and wanted to go over and talk to the cops and i was like yeh ok tough guy i give you 30 seconds before they swing you around to the hood of that van and cuff you like what exactly are you going to say to them with your boozebreath?
you know there is a special place in hell for people who roll over in bed and take all the covers with them simultaneously and stuff them under their body so you have to beat them up and tug that fucking blanket out from under at 4 in the morning when yer all groggy and hung and weak, in hell these people get their teeth smashed out with a hammer. the end.
