taking jenny to the cottage in a couple hours. matt‘s show last nite was fun. we met pitt and he said an awful lot of endearingly drunken things which inflated my ego. i told these groupie bitches to show us their tits and they’re like WE ARE MORE CLASSY THAN THAT and i was like pshaww whatever ho bag. but then i thought, wait a minute, i’m not classy cos i am constantly showing my jubblies, this can’t be. i cut my bangs all retarded so i look like the mother from the shining and today it looks like i am wearing a wig. score. my iud fucking hurts, after the weekend i am seeing the gyno. i asked fil if i could just rip it out and he said no i’d hemhorrage (i don’t care if that’s not the way to spell it, you fucking spellcheck nerds correct it yerself) and kill myself. we brought jen back to the local pub after the show last nite and got her hooked on megatouch. the doorguy was being an asshole and not letting us in and i was like DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!? then i called him a fucking cock and he let me in.

the megatouch dance is your chance to do the touch. do the touchee-touch.

i’m fucking hung over.

not enough people are buying my book.

Haiku Raymi

I’m gonna explode
once i drink some gasoline
and i eat a match
*

Today i just want
to go to the fucking zoo
and steal a monkey
*

Marshmallows and jam
shoved way into my eardrums
and also some pie
*

I sit on the couch
smoking cigarettes alone
in my underwear
*

Sometimes i wish for
car accidents to happen
to me when i’m sad
*

I wonder what i
will look like when i am old
i hope i’m pretty
*

When i sweat it smells
a little like hamburgers
i fucking hate it
*

I close my eyes when
riding my bike down college
because i don’t care
*

creepiest shit ever.

tony and i had a chat.

1. fat tree monkey

2. half-assed swandive

3. impression of a paraplegic’s first day out of a wheelchair

today i just wanted to wear my black velour lounge pants and mocassins in an attempt to give up on fashion entirely but i just looked in the mirror and realised i appear to be embracing retirement instead. we bought new bubble gum toothpaste yesterday. choosing new toothpaste is fil’s favourite time of the month. “i have to get the right one.” and whatever i choose is obviously wrong. anyway, it tastes good but it doesn’t get rid of stinky cheese breath.