this is what isabel had to say

so hi.

i suppose i could have left you a comment telling you i enjoyed your book,
because i don’t make it a habit to email total strangers and i feel
creeptacular doing so, (clearly you are used to it, so that makes it a
little easier).. but i wanted to tell just you, not the world.

i am a hair band.

fil and i walked to the lake and saw a dead duck and this humane society guy picked it up and put it in a bag and then i was picking at my ass and not looking where we were headed and when i looked up we were cornered by all these crazy motherfucker geese who were hissing and spitting and i had an anxiety attack then my mum showed up and told us this crazy story about my cousin and then fil and i got crazy phallic popsicles and ate them on the street and we were looking at these young chicks and fil said aloud how old do you think those little sluts are? and i said why don’t i go up and ask them and say HEY LITTLE SLUTS HOW OLD ARE YOU BECAUSE MY 30 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND WANTS TO KNOW.

then we went inside to finish our penis popsicles.

i will finally admit now that when people are talking, i am not listening. i mean, in the beginning i am listening but once what i am hearing turns into boring i am nodding my head saying yep yup yep and i am actually quite good at looking like i am listening to every goddamn word but really i am not. don’t be insulted if we’ve had a meaningful conversation before because i’m not NOT listening all of the time. just sometimes. when i am drunk mostly. which is pretty much all of the time. so there.

you know if you have two toonies and a loonie you can put the loonie in-between the toonies and then you have a coin sandwich. try it, it’s fun.

i think the heat is making me delirious.

dear raymi the minx

Have a nice day.

retarded is my favorite.

that natasha bedingfield song is so nice it makes me want to cry, and the video too. i can’t stand it. the song of the day was MEOW MEOW ooooOOOOh MEEOW meow OOOOOoooooH… until the cat attacked me for singing it. music snob. it’s almost as good as meowing to the tune of stop right now, thank you very much by the spice girls. do you think if i recorded a whole album of me meowing to different songs it would catch on like the jingle cats did. some fucking asshole kid in grade 5 brought that tape into class around christmas time and we had to listen to it during art class. i was sewing this felt teddy bear together (that turned out majorly ugly by the way. i should sell it on ebay. anyway.) and i had these scissors and i was like Gil I AM SO GOING TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD AHHH! so before christmas break i wanted to make sure i finished the bear so i could put it on the tree or something and then i was on the bus and i realised i left it in my desk and i freaked out and made the bus driver not leave so i could go back and get it. then i brought it home and showed everyone and no one cared. fucking bear. i think i got a B for making it. probably a C. my teacher was all you didn’t listen to instructions, i can see the seam and i was all yo teacher i wanted it that way. that same teacher always gave me shit for correcting her during lessons and for suggesting different ways to teach us. she sent me to the other side of the room once because i was talking too much but then i just talked to the other people i was moved next to instead. sucker.