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i am a hair band.

fil and i walked to the lake and saw a dead duck and this humane society guy picked it up and put it in a bag and then i was picking at my ass and not looking where we were headed and when i looked up we were cornered by all these crazy motherfucker geese who were hissing and spitting and i had an anxiety attack then my mum showed up and told us this crazy story about my cousin and then fil and i got crazy phallic popsicles and ate them on the street and we were looking at these young chicks and fil said aloud how old do you think those little sluts are? and i said why don’t i go up and ask them and say HEY LITTLE SLUTS HOW OLD ARE YOU BECAUSE MY 30 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND WANTS TO KNOW.

then we went inside to finish our penis popsicles.

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