You move to toronto when you are nineteen years old and then let crazy fucked up people move in with you who take advantage of your generosity and you work as an online prostitute and you date an abusive drug dealer who cheats on you and you do blow every other nite of the week and then you go to los angeles and smoke weed until your brains turn to dirt and you go to the loony bin and then you go back to canada and stay in the loony bin for a little while longer and then you get out and seclude yourself in a tiny town where you don’t know anybody for six months and then you gain some of your confidence back and go out on the town one nite and you meet another drug dealer and date him for six months who treats you like shit and then you finally lose your cool again and dump his ass once you get all skinny and manic and you can no longer smoke weed because it brings back terrors of 9/11 and generally some uncool shit.
When you are in the loony bin you spend a lot of time with people who are far more crazy than yourself and you take everything literally because that rational part of your brain is so doped up and the schizophrenics scream at you and the fucking senile split-personalities intrigue you and the christians terrify you and on and on until you realise you are pregnant and you just can’t believe your luck.
Jro emailed me and said that this guy is my new husband. i checked him out and was like yawn my new husband is boooooring but then after scrolling down a bit i was like WOAH MY NEW HUSBAND RULES BECAUSE HE IS COMPLETELY INSANE!
ps. check out jro’s site because he has amazing comics that are endearing and political and mean. this one for example:
it looks like i have a bloody produce bag on my head. or i was shot in the head and i put a plastic bag on it to stop the bleeding. i’d take a picture but it is just too disgusting and fil is going to be pissed off when he gets home and sees the rug. i’ll just buy a new one. whuddup wal-mart!?
i have a trillion red dye stains all over my back, shoulders and arms and forehead and my tits are literally sweating cos i have a plastic bag on my head to make the shit happen quicker and it’s made my body temperature skyrocket. i could die!
i got bored so i bought some hairdye and i am waiting for the colour to process as i type this and i got dye all over the bathroom rug, bloody red dye. oh well.
