there’s one of those big construction machine things, a bulldozer i guess, and it’s slamming a massive hole in the ground so every other second it’s like BAM BLAM BAM BAM BLAAAM BAM BAM BAAAAA BAM BAM
and it is sending vibrations through the house and i am sighing with annoyance but no one is around to witness my annoyance and share in it so i am extra-annoyed at that
rocky is here
though the scarey noise makes him think that he is on an adventure in his head so he is prancing around really fast from room to room like monsters are after him and he is a big hero though he looks like a tiny gay insect and you have to stop what you are doing to look at him because he’s so cute with his giant anime face, big head and tiny body
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yesterday we ran to the movie store before it was closing and we got there with 5 minutes to spare and the fat guy had already closed his ’til and refused to let us in and fil told him off through the window and we are SO going to talk to the manager about it and demand a free movie because we are townie busy-bodies.
it’s the weather flip-flop and the barometer going wacko i think oh and the drinking and the smoking too, right right.
the cat vomitted in his mouth a little bit and then swallowed it.
that was pretty cute and funny of him to do that.
matthew good took his blog down ‘cos his fans are cynical assholes who think they own him and they send him death threats ‘cos he’s a “dirty leftist” so we talked about strangling people specifically this one maxim model who asked him to strangle her.
strangle strangle strangle.
i bought some clam chowder and ate it in bed while learning about the air transat landing of august 2001 where the dude saved everyone and fil was like u didn’t know about this when i asked him what happened in the end, he was SHOCKED and i said dude, i was living in AMERICA at the time and there was no such thing as CANADA at the time and then two weeks later 9/11 happened anyway, talk to the haaaaaand!
the actor portraying the captain had all these cheesy lines and had that silly quebecois accent and his demeanor was suppose to be all calm and crap meanwhile they are gliding that motherfucking aircraft over the atlantic and he’s just like, chill daddios.
last nite at the bovine there was this tall skinny goth guy wearing a dress and he wasn’t even boozing, he was waiting for someone who wasn’t ever going to show up or he was just waiting for people to pay him attention. he kept switching seats too and his hair looked just like the scarey guy’s hair from mortal kombat, a ponytail on the top of his head. dude kept putting on more make-up. i felt really sad.
fil asked me if i had ever taken anyone dressed like that home before and i said NO.
with regularish dressed people it’s like a mystery whether or not they are whiny poetry writers who cry in fetal postions if you don’t call them every 30 minutes but with people dressed like that it’s a friggin’ omen like, don’t waste your time, it’s their gift to you so it’s best to accept it.
the same goes for people who have multiple piercings in their face or places on their body where they don’t need to be.
it’s fine and all that you prefer being abused and shat on then stabbed with broken glass, but you don’t have to let us all know all the fucking time about it, dinkus.
if i see one more fat girl leading around a skinny loser guy with a collar/chain, my hair is going to set on fire and i am going to push them both in front of a taxi.
dood even smeared his red lipstick across his chin a la courtney love after he spent a good 3 minutes applying it to his stupid lips.
I HATE EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIING RAWRARARARWR LOCK ME UP!
last nite was the last pub nite ‘cos it’s been sold ‘cos it’s been losing money so now it will most likely turn into plastic food and beer with a silver table top bar in the middle of the room and when they take the wallpaper down, all of the drywall will come down with it.
some of the photographs are listed on ebay and going for thousands.
i felt like being a stealer, well, everybody did, but everything was screwed to the walls and we have enough junk anyway and not like a framed black and white photo of the queen of england is going to enhance my life in any shape or form.
and now i am going to talk about fat and lazy.
i am not as skeletor as i was during the summer and this is because of the weather and for some reason my metabolism slows down and everything i eat turns to fat and stays on my body ’til maybe spring when i get psycho over starving myself and drinking water and longboarding my face off and tanning just to wear a bikini top and hoard it over everybody else for a little while, how dumb is that.
and as much as all i am talking about these days is nothing more than i am fat my thighs are huge-ungous ew gross my arms look at my chin in that photo…
this time around, i don’t care about it as much.
like i care et all but it’s more of a I AM FAT RIGHT NOW BLARAHAHAH type thing like i am riki lake even though i am only 5-7 lbs more than before.
women are FUCKED like that.
no matter how cool you think your girlfriend is and comfortable in her own skin and all those dumb lies you think about her in the beginning stages of your relationship, it will turn into her being a crazy skinny obsess monster and she will spend her days and nites plotting on how to be a skinnier version of herself but then maybe not actually doing anything about it until she is planning to dump your ass and move on with her life as a skinny and then you have to sit around saying why me forever and ever and so what, she is with somebody else but she is just gonna turn all fat again with them and if she actually wants to stay with the dude then she has to be drowning in her fat-insecurities all over again and stay skinny just to keep the guy.
at least i am smiling more though in my head i am thinking I AM SO FAT RIGHT NOW.
pssssssssh.
oh and ps.
skinny people are not even happy then they are like excuse me i am skinny right now and nobody cares hello skinny over here!
AND they are bitchy because they don’t eat carbs and they go psycho and when i say they i mean ‘i’
so i’m gonna be on the orgasm show and fil is gonna be on a separate taping the following week where they discuss positions.
i guess the chick saw that i would be holding back information if fil and i were on the same episode, out of respect and awkwardness?
during the audition once she flipped on the camera and said ok lots of energy, be anecdotal, my mind went blank and it was like my sexual past was non-existent, like i was a flippin’ nun so in my mind i sounded like i was listing off everything i might know about sex like i had read it off some website.
it was the room and the lighting and the sobriety i blame it on that.
you are allowed to say cock and the f word i was amazed.
A M A Z E D by that and began to speak like napoleon dynamite.
so we watched the show last nite to do our research and everyone on it was lame and it’s pretty much a show for yuppies and we aren’t even allowed to wear stripes or the color black and they are drinking martinis, the women, and the men get to drink beer and they probably won’t let me drink beer because i’ll ruin the ladylikeness allusion but still i’ll demand beer anyway or wine.
and i’ll probably come across as a bitchy know-it-all, well, i hope that i do.
like, BOOORING sisters, i did that 5 YEARS ago HELLLOOOOOO!
i am not going to plug my site and they don’t even use the panelist’s names so whatevs.
the form we had to fill out was funny.
there was a do you have anything extra you would like to add/tell us?
