sometimes i get the urge to make a whole new blog just to fiddle with a new template and put some sort of something clever title on it and specific google images that don’t mean anything and i call it the new shit the new space the new place to be for a little while and then i give up on it entirely but mostly it is because i was in the shower thinking of some random made-up story i thought would be endearing and i could have it up there and look at it like it was something that a whole other person wrote who was not me altogether and everything would be brilliant just like i thought when i was in the shower and i would link it and people would email and buy it completely and because it was written over there it would be different and new-feeling.

and then i think well i could just stop blogging for a month and save all that fake brilliance in a word document and cafepress it and put a new photo on it then sell it but because of this compulsion what is blogging i can’t do that and so i think that i will just write whatever the nonsense here like a post but it wouldn’t make much sense because say if i was writing as if i were a boy character or as a 12 year old, new random stumble upon readers would be like ungh?

but then i think fuck it, make a new blog, delete it, write the crappy word document, delete that, create a new post, keep it and pretend like you never wrote this bizarro explanation like you’re the avon lady. loser.