yum.

fancybar, koolhaus.

me again.

dear raymi

i knowww.

the passport thing just freaked me a little…

but of course its just words.

and i was mostly just joking. but not only.

i just hate microsoft too much.

sorry.

i’m old school that way…

thing is, i even used to have a hotmail email account

and then they just closed it some time ago … ???

wtf?

but hey.

i actually live in switzerland. i even grew up here

most of the time. i do have an american passport.

but i am not proud of it these days…

i might burn it in january when bush gets re-instated.

or howeverthefuck thats called.

but hey.

so if your ever in europe make sure to look me up.

but hey.

i hope weaning off the booze works out for you. i

guess it does for some people… and i am sure you are

one of them.

but hey.

robotish! wooo. nice word. i am a web-content person

almost flat out of work since the internetbubble

burst.

i started to blog pretty much 2 years ago to the day.

wow.

how time flies.

i had wanted to start a blog much earlier, but was

always too busy back then. then i heard joi ito speak

about blogging at a conference and i knew i just had

to do it… so i guess i came in more from the nerdy

end of things.

but as i said before, the type of blogging you do

really inspires me. total freestyle. cathartic. up

bustle and out. in the zone. in the flow. spitting out

words. jumpy yet honest. sexy yet real. emotional yet

contained.

raymi. lets face it. you’re teh bestest! and you

deserve a million dollar contract.

if i had it i would give it to you. believe!

but hey.

i dont even have a real job right now. nobody sees my

genius either… *sniffie* so i am a professional

blogger and ex-dj. sound spiffy?

but hey.

kisseshugsandallthatcrap pieceoplastic aka jan aka CEO

pieceoplastic.com

ps: much is going on, once we switch to the right

channel…

ok so my hair use to look like a pagoda and i weighed more.

i drank a lot and often and i figured if i had pagoda-dido hair people wouldn’t notice my fatass face. but then i went to maine for a few months and sat around drinking and eating in the winter until i turned 19 and was like fuck maine, i’m out. no offense, little-town maine, you’re very pretty, however, i was too young to be a depressed and bored canadian little housewife with pagoda hair all the time in your state. i even wrote a letter to oprah about our ridiculous fonebill and asked her to give us money. she didn’t respond. heh.

and this is me a few months after back in canada. i figured if i angled my face differently the fatness of it wouldn’t show. also, pharmaceutical narcotics suppress the appetite. this is one of the shots i used in my slew of ME pictures for the muchmusic vj try-out thing. tyranny was with me that day i tried out and we were doing percs in line and it was like duh, raymi is so not getting this part.

i have never bragged so friggin’ much about being rejected before.

i even have the email they sent and i post it from time-to-time on le blog.

i remember this one lady trying out and she was, older, and i was thinking, she is not going to get this and neither am i so we may as well just go across the street and get shitty right now.

i even took the day off work for it and had to beg to get the day off and my boss was all, you are not going to get this part, why bother trying? and i said screw you i don’t want to work in a hardware store for the rest of my life i am going to be a star! urrrrrrrrg.

i want the demo-reel back because it would be hilarious to watch. it was just an hour of random karaoke bits of me in pubs and then me sitting across the table talking to ward making fun of him.

and by the time i went in for the audition it was hours and hours and hours later and i was zonked and the lady is all so you wanna be a vj? why? why should we pick you?

and i said, uhhhhhh, ‘cos i speak well and i am funny and you can change my look….

something sparky like that.

anj took this and she is awesome because she plays bass and she has a daughter who is going to be all cooler than the entire universe when she is older because her mom is.

fil said we should have anj play bass for us but then he said, nah, she is probably too good to be in our band and i agreed.

i smacked my head on a doorframe under the stairs of alex/kane/sherri’s new place today. i was in this fun little storage space, crawling around with the dogs, and then it was all THUDSMACK and then UNNNNNNNNNNNgh. i had nothing to do and i was done making lame comments about butternut squash and karate poses and everything was unpacked for the time being and they were too polite to let me dust/clean/move furniture so i just had to entertain myself by playing dungeons&dragons with the dogs.

no one laughed aloud when the THUDSMACKBANGMORON noise happened ‘cos it sounded pretty painful but it wasn’t really, just sounded that way and i wasn’t bleeding though should have been kuz i had hit the frame pretty hard, boggin’ my noggin’ at quite a sharp angle.

i was more concerned with my recovery line which was, “i’m ok it was just wood.”

i also hugged and kissed the dogs a lot and let them eat my hair because i am part autistic and i only leaned against the freshly painted walls once and messed up the paint, ok well, i leaned the bedframe against it as well, so i guess that counts as twice.

and i also will be tending bar/waitressing/mouthing off at some someplace somewhere somehow soon.

moonlighting is my favorite.

get one of neil’s shirts because then people at bar’s go bwahaa and then you wear one under your work shirt and when no one is looking you take off the fancy shirt and then you are wearing a barfing guy shirt or one of the other designs and your coworker says you are a flake and you go, yup.

ps fil and i spent a good ten minutes whipping my tube sox at each other’s faces instead of going for a walk at one point today.

that’s me on the right with the short-dyke hair trying to be as far away as possible from the frat-like shenanigans because i felt uncomfortable with the whole fitting-in thing. for the most part everyone was friends before our exchange program to england began and had formed cliques, you know, that schoolish crap that’s exhausting and a total waste of time when you’re [me] trying to get shitty and be above it all and have one-nite-stands and have totally awesome stories to tell at breakfast the next morning while jilly and sally are talking about dad’s credit cards and the ugly purse they got from harrod’s which cost 90 quid.

gay dogs, not lying.

this one guy got his face totally messed up by these punks in oxford and he was rushed to hospital. they smashed his face with a brick ‘cos he was a mouthy stupid rich kid in their part of town, and was “marketably attractive” before this whole brick incident occurred.

the moral of the story is – don’t mess with british punks when you are a white canadian boy who looks like eminem.

this post is crap.

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