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im only 12 but i want to be like younot givin a dahm and fuckin every guy that likes you ( no affence) but i really want to e like you and my motto is ur neva to young for somethin newut heres my problem there is this guy i told him im 14 and im in 8th gr hes not that hott but hes 16 and still virgin hes crazii i knoe but i rlly like him but he has gurl.. listen to this ova the internet is too funni he always talks to her always!!!! anyways thees another guy in my skoool who has a gurl and hes reall hott!! i need advice on how i can get them BOLTH!!

i want to be just like you… not sayin that ur bad you sound really kool i need help


ok that disturbed me, when i was 12 i was not plotting how to screw boys, i was fantasizing about rock stars and writing about that, i didn’t have this thing called msn, i didn’t even have the friggin’ internet, my friend dan did and we’d go there to write emails to random businesses on the web and the emails were something like this, “You’re a homo and you suck your own penis and you are so ugly and you’re gay!”

you know, mature stuff like that, and then we’d rip the hell out of the company, i think one sold fishing rods or something and we made lewd fishing rod comments, and then dan’s dad got an email about the whole thing and dan got in trouble but not really, well sort of, ‘cos we were suppose to be working on our geography project but janet kept walking in and telling me she was fat and i was like no u aren’t shut up you are pretty dur dur dur

anyway, this jennifer girl who emailed me, i refuse to respond, i am actually considering abolishing the how to be a slut article because people have taken it way too seriously and i am still being emailed about it but now it’s coming from little girls? sometimes men will email me and ask my advice about their wives screwing around on them and then i write long emails about what signs to look for when really the problem is they are just not meant to be or their needs aren’t being met, i dunno.

the world is fucked and so are people and they are all on the internet and they are all looking at porn and cheating on each other and now little jennifer is wanting to be just like me, so, now what?

oh and ps jennifer i do not fuck every guy that likes me, i apologize if it appears to be that way, but it isn’t that way, i am actually quite a loyal person, these days especially, and i wanted you to know that.


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