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October twentieth-something, close to halloween (i got a ninja costume) 2004 8:15pm

i pay attention less and less to what date it is, funny how i use to care about that sort of thing. i was all fanatic over it and now there are just too many people i have in my life to keep track of ‘em all – birthdays, long-weekends, holidays, events, television shows, fashions…

and the older i get the more bitter i feel but mostly i am just bitter towards myself for not having changed the world yet tho’ i have written in an online journal with photographs of myself and sort of established a base of readers of sorts

and i do not like the term “cult-following” because it is insulting to the “cult followers, readers, people who are appreciative of the work/art that is my life”

i am more of an accessibility than the type-regre “celebrity” though i guess that’s what makes me a “cult icon”? perhaps i am just deluding myself into thinking that people around the world actually give a shit about me and what i have to say.

anyway i think that guy who loves tony pierce is here now. i convinced him to hang out and buy me beer because i am broke and lonely and hey, if all the other bloggers do it why can’t/shouldn’t i?

though i am not the typical let’s all meet off the www. blogger anymore, i use to be, i use to do the shit out of that sort of thing but now i am all neurotic and considerate of people’s feelings and i don’t like to use them and get them to mail me cookies and stuff, that’s chate.

having a blog is a gauranteed lay and if you are linked to my blog or tyranny or tony then you are going to have s e x.

screw that.

days later – anyway, i met up with the blogkid and turns out he is all attractive and positive and stuff and he bought me chocolates and talked about europe and writing and i was all negative sort of, i mean, he was so idealistic it was shocking, it was like he was sent from some planet to show me what i was like when i was 16 and seducing old men and going I AM WRITING A BOOK… honestly, who is doing the seducing, the 16 yr old?

well sort of.

all i have to say is, whoever said orange was the new pink was totally a fag.

and ps, fags!

pps – i hope yer all making the right decisions out there.

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