BLYTHE!

she is in my house!

AND!!

she is DRUNK!

the first thing she did was take off ALL of her CLOTHES and put on her british flight attendant pantsuit sans the overcoat thing and posed with my big learning html for rainman book on thr stereo speaker and she FELL OFF it backwards and got dust and cat hair all over her face and she called me a SILLY BITCH!

the little blythe is j e a l o u s.

and locked herself in the clothes chest, i am not even lying.

ok i have to skateboard into town and buy BEERnazis say hi to aimee at work by staring at her thru the window and licking the screen and also say hi to todd and andrea

cid i am sorry that i am not your sucky father so i don’t make your cat kibble into hot soup slop. when fil gets back he’ll do it and you can like, fuck off and stuff

also, me and aymee watched barber shop 2 last nite.

there are at least 560 comments i have to make about that film but it will have to wait, ok?

From: Janet

To: suitesoleil@hotmail.com

Subject: hey please help

Hey! my name is Janet and i read your web site its a pretty good website you got nice tips and ideas on it.

i am 16 years old and i wana become like the girl next door kinda type but i allso want boys to think that they have a chanse with me but in the end realize that they got to work harder.

i know i could do it most people say i’am allready the girl next door type but i gotta work on i a little. i am very good at flirting and hitting on guys BUT only once i’v actually started talkin to them. I’ am very bad at introducing my self and approching a boy even a girl and meeting them.

lol i usually get my friends or someone who knows the person to do it for me

can you please give me some tips on it.

please i would really appriciate it you sound like a really good expert at these things and i would love to get your advice.

thank you . Janet

hey lil janet

beautiful mumraymi after i did her hair

here’s the thing about being spoiled.

i always paid my own way

the only thing my parents half-paid for was england and they suggested that i go, i worked at the hardware store whilst going to school and being cool and retarded and fucking lawyers in toronto and so being called spoiled by someone who chose to not live with their family or whatever yeh it is annoying but it’s understandable, just ‘cos i chose to stick around for awhile doesn’t mean i got pampered and spoiled to the max.

it wasn’t peaches and ream cream, ok people?

i am spoiled in the fact that i say what i feel and think when i think it and i slam doors and walk away and say fuck you and go do my thing because that’s what i gotta do and then i write about my miserability in my journals and be all promiscuous and read cosmopolitan and drink a lot and move away to nyc then to maine then to toronto then i go crazy.

spoiled?

no no no.

enabled, mo’like.

spoiled because my parents stuck it together for the sake of me and my brother and he has a kid when he is in grade ten and then finally diagnosed with ADD and i am like an idiot savante 2000 styles and a girl with boy qualities and minx shit and i basically write my own self-fulfilling prophecy, outcast society, which turned into the last minx, and raymi, was the girl, was the lauren and i wanted to be in a mental institution because i thought it would be SO COOL and then girl interrupted came out and i was like what the fuck grrr.

because i thought a mental institution book would be the most amazing of a premise for a nooknovelbook

anyway

MSN account says:

setting up messenger on my windows system. BRB.

MSN account says:

still downloading the windows version.

raymilauren says:

ok

MSN account says:

i just rode my harley for three hours. I got both sunburned and rained on. I feel weird

MSN account says:

anti im’ed me to say he was pissed about my comment. I told him I was staying out of the whole thing.

MSN account says:

felt like he was trying to get me to agree with him or say something bad about you or something. I dunno. I told him I’m just some guy over the internet. I’m not going to get involved in someone’s personal life.

MSN account says:

setting up messenger on my windows system. BRB.

raymilauren says:

he is doing that shit all over the web

MSN account says:

yeah. i thought it was pretty sad.

MSN account says:

there you are.

raymilauren says:

he is going to all the people who love me AND TRYING TO BRAINWASH them and influence them

MSN account says:

well, dammit, now I need to get a web cam.

MSN account says:

bah. I don’t know him.

raymilauren says:

whatever , i on the other hand do not have the time to do the same with his people so whatever, there is money to be made now, if he wants to sit around like a ten yr old then go for it

MSN account says:

absolutely.

MSN account says:

speaking of money to be made, how’s that going?

raymilauren says:

it’s going good

bipolar is all about control and organization and making your own crap make sense to you

and you alone

and in the middle of the nite you re-arrange everything and then you wake up and everything is forgotten and your friend is like where in the fuck is my shit and is in a flurry and angry at you and you are angry at them for not understanding your logic, dis-logic, pretty much, and everyone around you suffers to all hell

but you are suffereing too. you’re “happy” and everyone just sits there and watches your self-nutsy campaign

and no one steps in to save you from yourself and stop your retardedness until you run out of the house and straight to the looner-lodge and make-out with four-point restraints and a tranquilizer needle in yer left hip and you are screaming this is traumatic this is traumatic

and you’re crazy for a little while

a long while

a hell of a long while

and you have to fix yourself with the help of others

but still

nothing can be said in your state to aid in snapping you out of those thoughts in the right way

you can’t even tell your own person how to make it work

and in the looner-lodge things get worse by “getting better” because your psychiatrist only stops by a couple days in the 7 day stretsh you are there and the nurses mind-fuck you and so do the other patients because they are schizophrenic, scam artists, suicidal, EVERYTHING you could dream of.

this is not ‘nam, walter.

i told dylan that if i cannot be guaranteed prom kingage then i. am. not. going.

that’s nick my homeless indie photographer who smokes native indian cigarettes and has a ghetto tape deck in his humpty that plays your cassettes in slow-motion. sick!

my mind just goes blank

some things are funny

three days she is on pain chills and lucky lager

her heart is her liver

three red silhouetted show girls

can-can

you’re so deep

the longer the vaginas are away from each other

the more

well

you know

tomorrow morning i will email

tomorrow afternoon

i will clean

clean my dirty soul

sorry goth

you’re putting me in now?

yeh

ok

put it in after

put it in after i said ok

no

stop it

are you going to type everything i say?

raymi the minx

inspiron 8200

have you ever had chicken pox?

i’m getting my first wisdom tooth and it couldn’t have exposed itself at a more suitable time in my life

so much wisdom so much insight so much truth

my left and right brains are channeling

the synapses are sparking like jumper cables in a vacant parking lot and you tell me that you don’t have the time to give me a boost so i sit on a curb to sharpen my senses and then i rifle through my wallet for the photograph of my neice and then i decree aloud,

“what world is this.”

my new boyfriend

this is me in my pretend studio orifice.