mom/dad

i’m writing an important packing list so i can be organized. i have had a tough day you are all yelling at me bringing me down i need to have fun tonite. i’m showering soon, don’t harp on my constitution. i do not have to explain myself to anyone or the system of my routines you are too obsessed with me even dad says

relax

i’m trying hard and i have already made the necessary decisions to better my life and will be put into immediate effect

angelo and i are going as friends

i took the time to actually respond to your letter of repetition of the crap you preach to me every hour

appreciate that

i love you

lauren

ps i will be safe in panama, it’s a family resort and i will be safe on the bike. i have my own reservations, however i want to try it out seems fun. i will be wearing proper attire w/ helmet.

pps i am not your whipping boy, you guys always pick on me i’m going to snap

ok so im gonna go there

things i need to pack

important papers and passport

crazy pills

flip flops

hair straightener hair dryer

journal

toiletries

camera

camera charger

carton of belmonts

bikini

black dress

stilettos

make-up

underwear tank tops shorts skirt sweater

people’s mailing addresses (email me your address if you want a post card)

some water bottles (if allowed)

watch

toothbrush

toothpaste

wait those fall under toiletries

cds?

yeh cds gotta get cd walkmen oops thats at the other house do you have one?

batteries if i bring the cd walkmen

earphones for cd walkmen

money

sunglasses

bling bling necklace

bling bling ring from aimee that i forgot to ask back

other necklaces

jeans

bras

push up water bra

old man shoes

razor

pussy razor

deodorant

blythe

michael‘s underwear

book to read

magazine

pens

frisbee?

here’s the rice no one ate but me

i am this close to not going to panama

i feel like i have an ulcer

i dunno whatto do and i feel like i am bringing down everyone around me with my drama and annoying them to no end i just fuck, gotta do my own thing for awhile. i really do wanna go and i am gonna go but we’re going as friends or i’m not going at all i haven’t grown or done anything of any use for a long time and it’s time i fuck my bootstraps and collect my shit

i love him and i always will i just can’t deal right now

i have my own shit to sort

i don’t want to give the wrong impression by going

and i don’t want to give the wrong impression by not going

you are my whole world and that’s not right

i forget myself too much my things my interests

i cant change how i feel im becoming too mean a person too cynical and that’s not my way to say such curse things

but sometimes you have to be blunt and people have to be brought down to size and see that if they wanna carry on as they do they gotta find someone else to put up with their shit

being friends

best friends

is the most i can offer right now

we are far too similar it’s like arguing with myself for hours and hours and i really do not want to punch you in the face or make a hole in your wall

and i’ve been drinking far too much

i would do anything far too much just to vent my frustrations and that’s not safe or smart or good at all in any way

and im afraid that once we’re there something dumb will happen and you’ll be jailed or i’ll be jailed and then what do we do?

we’re not healthy for each other

i cant be your mom anymore

i love you dearly and you know that

i have to be alone for awhile

we’re still the dreamteam

i fucked this one a bit, the raymi is saying lets make a nite to remember. the elf woman is saying no how ’bout one to forget or too late i already forgot.

so i’ll be back in five minutes guys. i hope i don’t get throwed in jail. speaking of which i wrote a letter to angelo’s boy who is in jail. man i’m retarded. so go to his blog and find that audio jail post and get the dood’s address and write to him yerself. ladies i mean.

we’re being panamaniacs.

ever heard sleep on needles by sondre lerche. it’s pretty nice.

and FUCK Underworld is an intense film. so good. it just keeps going. i was waiting and waiting for kate beckinsal (sp whatever?) to go all manic vampire crazy but she didn’t really. her hot contacts were enough for me to take. boiiing.

i’m going to be so brown chinatown in two minutes shaggy shag fag

today is aymitheminx’s first booze-serving shift i will go there and support her soon as i find someone to support my drinking habit.

or maybe sooner.

he only attacked me eight times

but then i said bitch dont mess around and he said fine

and neice was so angry she fell on her hands and princess that shirt is not from wal-mart it’s pantorama

but she was cool a few minutes later

and then papa had another sauce cuz well it was dad’s day

do you see the kerouacness there look at other guy even and we always have the stink eye i want to die look on our faces ‘cept for papa he is always smiling

sean odell