today i am jewish and i’m a loudmouth and my mother has a big grey bouffante ‘do and i talk loud and announce everything personal in the streets of brooklyn and i smell like nail polish.

i wish my online pervert friend was talking to me now. i had a few awesome tidbits from him but my msn conked out before i could save any of it. shit about a mother fucking her son and other nice things i need to hear.

today i am from jupiter.

you guys should see the bad santa movie. i mean it. i thought it would be the harshest mistress but it wasn’t. i want to be santa now. i want to fuck santa now. kidding.

top ten hottest boy uniforms according to raymi’s horniness:

sailor

baseball uniform

sargeant andrew scott of universal soldier fame

ice cream scoop boy

pool boy

lawn mower boy

footballer

COP!

nazi

skinhead

christopher

us

we had this cat, moacha, a hundred years ago who was siamese and the sketchiest cat u ever saw and she was beautiful and a total snob and then there was sheeba who was also siamese who use to smell moacha’s ass and one xmas we couldnt have a big tree just a tiny one on top of the television set kuz sheeba woulda threw herself into it (much like my brother’s white trash cats do. they like sleep in the fucking tree and watch you when you watch tv and pretend like they are not there but you know they are) and when we got back from ottawa sheeba was sitting on the tv and the little tree we had was smashed to the floor all messed up.

sheeba could do huge jumps and flips and twist her body so retardedly and when she ate grass she vomitted all the time like immediately. hello that made you vomit 2 minutes ago, remember? stop chewing more stupid. she escaped all the time to watch tv thru our neighbor’s window on their back step and when we found her she would look at us like what the fuck idiot i am just watching entertainment tonight, relax.

moacha was a stray and fucked from the start. that’s how you know what your cat’s temperament will be. like oh this one grew up in a dumpster and got rained on all the time and that cat came from a crazy breeder or whatever. now we have rocky and rocky is the shiznizzle. he’s a bit of a lesbian but that’s fine. he smells my vagina fingers and licks them clean. meh. right now he’s in skitchen kuz he took off again in the backyard so he is sitting on the bed looking at me like i am suppose to touch him.

i want another siamese cat. find me one please. thanks.

lets go to the movies! ok!