nothing without a woman or a girl.

In my eyes

Indisposed

In disguise

As no one knows

Hides the face

Lies the snake

The sun

In my disgrace

Boiling heat

Summer stench

beneath the black

The sky looks dead

Call my name

Through the cream

And Ill hear you

Scream again

Black hole sun

Wont you come

And wash away the rain

Black hole sun

Wont you come

Wont you come

Stuttering

Cold and damp

Steal the warm wind

Tired friend

Times are gone

For honest men

And sometimes

Far too long

For snakes

In my shoes

A walking sleep

And my youth

I pray to keep

Heaven send

Hell away

No one sings

Like you

Anymore

Hang my head

Drown my fear

Till you all just

Disappear

look at this stoned

tell me where did you sleep last nite.

ricky* was a virgin and the first brown boy i ever did it with. i sat on his lap in a chair and rode the crap out of him and he shook like crazy and didn’t tell me ’til afterward that it was his first time. we were in his father’s basement in north york (the REAL NY) with red carpet on the walls and an air mattress. he was so skinny i felt like a whale. a friggin’ whale. he was in love with this other skinny girl he knew at school. our relationship was brief and ended in jet fuel with my friends sitting nearby eavesdropping like crazy. i planned it. i knew he wanted to not see me anymore and i was beyond through with him.

so what do you need to talk to me about? you needed to talk, talk! yeh i don’t think i want a girlfriend right now. phew.

and that was that.

so an old lady stripper came over last nite. not here. to ben’s. for his birthday. she was dressed like a cop and played the theme from COPS. you have the right to remain sexy. she had a tacky stripper thong on, you know the one with the clips because strippers are so lazy and cannot be bothered to sexily bend over and shimmy out of their skivs so they have to unclip this awful little piece of string off their body because it is such a hard thing to be done. she specifically said no photographs were allowed. sorry.

i am going to cut off my bangs because they are perfectly even with my eyeballs now so yesterday they made ‘em all bloaty red bloodshot all nite long. so pissed off. so i went swimming in the rain when it was dark, alone, and weirded everyone out. pfft.

when i drink beer my pussy gets wet.

i fucking flipped out on a computer geek at the slutfactory where i use to work. i ran out of the room in my black stilettos and lingerie stood over his chair and fucking screamed at him until he left. he was in the chatroom trash talking me and arguing that 2pac has gained more fame than kurt cobain what with the death similarities and the boom of 2pac was far superior than that of nirvana’s. i was like fuck that you skat motherfucker you piece of stupid shit how dare you talk to me when i am working fucker little kid and on and on and i was trembling like mad. i almost quit every single day. i fought with the monitor this romanian chick all the time she was a right cunt but with a nice heart. she came from poor beginnings.

one girl gave our boss a blowjob in the hangout waiting area on a couch and they threw a jacket over the surveillance cameras. that girl was such filthy trash and so fucking rank with dirty bra and panty sets that never matched and the ugliest face i had ever seen and she tried to have sex with all of us too. blek.

uhh is that a trick question?

lulu was a drifter and she spoke in whisper and her fingers always smelled like sweaty lilac. she had a scar under her right eye from a glass fight with the german girl on matlock . she bought glue from the supermarket and stashed the bottles in plastic bags behind the dumpsters in the parking lot. she hung around metcalf the head of parking security and he’d put his fingers inside her in his car and her eyes were always rolling and spittle came from her mouth and her hair was like red curly fire from hell. lulu waddled through the streets balancing on the curb with her arms stuck out like an airplane. she was 13 and she begged for scraps from the pizza man behind the kitchen. in the heat of summer she wore her shirt on her head like a turban. bare-chested. flat chested. angry. i’m gonna get out of here and live on a farm. i’m gonna ride horses. i’m gonna wear pink sunglasses and pearls and red lipstick and do acrobats in blue heels and carry a nice bag. i’m gonna get out of here and steal my little sister. i’m going to make her my baby and never let no one hurt her. i’m gonna get her away from him. from his mouth and his hands. i’m gonna do it. lulu found scrap bicycles and got money for them. lulu watched her sister in the playground and a boy pushed her into a swing and lulu saw red and beat him up pretty rough so she can’t go visit diana no more.