i dated this guy for six months when i was 16.5 and i faked a british accent for the first month and a half. what a mental case. saurav was his roommate. i said i was from devon, england and that’s where saurav was from also so when he asked me where exactly in devon i had lived i said the northwest part. neeeahht. so when i told the guy it was a fake accent he didn’t flip out exactly he was just like wow you’re real voice is such a turn-on. cool. this is when i dressed all glamorous, sex ‘n the city steez and had long blond flippy important porno hair and after my doings with the latvian girl.

she, is a whole other story.

bunny mcintosh says:

party on wayne

bum pirate says:

holla

bunny mcintosh says:

i got groceries today and also drunk

bum pirate says:

go look at my bloog

bum pirate says:

at my ass and vag

bum pirate says:

woah nice

bunny mcintosh says:

woah yeah i know

bum pirate says:

u slots

bum pirate says:

they call me raymi the muff

bunny mcintosh says:

nice ok i’ll check you out

bum pirate says:

ok

bum pirate says:

cum visit me

bunny mcintosh says:

i will cum yes

bum pirate says:

when

bum pirate says:

this summer

bum pirate says:

we can wear old lady granny pants jump on my bed and put eye liner on each other

bunny mcintosh says:

ok we will have a blast

bum pirate says:

how long would u come for

bunny mcintosh says:

but if you’re mean to me i’ll fucking burn your house down. but you won’t be. actually i’ll just say bitch be cool.

bunny mcintosh says:

I have to get money.

bum pirate says:

ill be nice

bum pirate says:

why wouldnt i be

bunny mcintosh says:

I might go live in boston for my internship.

bunny mcintosh says:

you will.

bum pirate says:

woah

bunny mcintosh says:

BOSTON

bunny mcintosh says:

i need to make some boston friendsters or something so i don’t have to sit in my apartment all weekend alone

bum pirate says:

itblowsthere

bunny mcintosh says:

naw

bum pirate says:

my ex bf lives there

bunny mcintosh says:

its close to NYC and close to my ass kicking grandfather

bum pirate says:

u can go party in amherst with all the reject rock n rollers

bum pirate says:

nice

bunny mcintosh says:

rockidy rock

bum pirate says:

this guy’s chihuaua barfed on the floor and i went cool!

bum pirate says:

he was worried

bunny mcintosh says:

ha ha

bunny mcintosh says:

i smoked free weed

bum pirate says:

i felt mean

bunny mcintosh says:

my friend just had a freak fest at me

bunny mcintosh says:

she gave me a you’re out of control lecture and I gave her an “I love you, don’t be sad at me” lecture back

bum pirate says:

ew thats gross i hate when people do that, the whole we need to talk speech and then u get all crazy like what what what the fuck is wrong dude serious

bunny mcintosh says:

She has known me since I was 15 and had giant orange wig hair.

bunny mcintosh says:

and she was fat and had a perm and braces

bum pirate says:

i have so much mascara it makes me eyelashes feel like tiny needles evergreen tree style

bum pirate says:

ew

bunny mcintosh says:

she is so lovely but she acts like my mom

bum pirate says:

aw

bum pirate says:

thats nice then

bunny mcintosh says:

i always have so much eyeliner

bunny mcintosh says:

eyeliner liquid sluts

bunny mcintosh says:

she is cool because she could tell people they needed to shut their fucking mouths when they would make fun of me when i was little

bunny mcintosh says:

and mormon

bunny mcintosh says:

and didn’t swear

bum pirate says:

i wake up and i look like oscar the grouch junkylike

bunny mcintosh says:

and so punk rock boys were bitches to me on the bus

bum pirate says:

aw i hate schoolbus politics

bunny mcintosh says:

i looked like courtney love this morning cause i had makeup smeared all over my face

bunny mcintosh says:

i know it. fuck them in their asses.

bum pirate says:

gutterpunk

this was taken by jeopardy king. boo ya. and also the following

that faggot tim finally wrote about me but he lied when he said get out of my house or maybe not, probably. i think i am the one that fucked off to toronto u skat.

daydream space station

hey yooooo giiiieees! remember this place?

that link is to my friend alex’s site. he’s in that smarties commerical and other shit too. no one believes i know him. i called him last nite stoned and said really dumb stuff. he went with me to the supreme court of canada party-viewing when i had the norwalk virus and i ate a rainbow-coloured popsicle with some tylenol 3’s. the spaniard (ex-bf) was there too but we didn’t see each other and he sent me a fuck you email for that very reason. anyway, the supreme court of canada was a short arty film i was in with a guy dressed as a bunny and me as an old man in a field in high park. super 8 footage sketchy silent silly.

this picture is of tyranny tyranny aka slow down coolio aka heart attack monster aka aka aka kkk timNAZI. we met on the nerve personals before they got crazy gay and his name was xanax i dont remember what mine was, maybe he knows. we would cab it back and forth all over west of bramptopia and i got him back on pills. he blamed it all on me. one time i got a morphine patch from this boozer customer guy at my hardware store job who had a crush on me and use to bring me tiny whiskey bottles on saturdays and sundays from his 24 of beer and sometimes percs. me and tim sucked out after cutting it in half, smearing it on the back of our necks and arms and then wiping it off. we were scared to experience too much pleasure. now we are angry at that stupid stupid act of a puss-out. stupid people. stupid, stupid people. (shii-ann, survivor).

anyway i took some tranqulizers and brought em over, we crushed and snorted them and the insides of our nostrils turned on fire and we coma’d it the fuck out dude. frank lived in his basement and he had a ponytail and when i walked downstairs i said whats up fags and frank went pffffffffffffft. the audacity of me is just stupid. i brought over a tiny champagne bottle i got from a wedding and tim cracked it open with a nail and a hammer and drank shards of glass. blannnnt!

we ashed all over each other on the bed and watched magnolia and everytime i listen to modest mouse now i think of tim and his ghetto blaster. he slept at my house a few times and when my mum walked in the room she said he’s black? idiot. i flipped on her.

and when she drove us places, we screamed at each other the entire time in ice rain and tim in the back going oh my god. i brought him to dirtbag karaoke and he made this other guy angry and look dumb kuz he was deathly in love with me and also was the jew karaoke host with the big gut that shoves it into you when he hugs you and whispers sleazy; “when are we gonna start a band oh you’re so hot that girl has the stage presence of a sack of potatoes…” type crap in your ear with gooey hot moisture-breath. can you say vomit fountain?

speaking of which, i shot out one of those at this afterhours in front of darkynazi when he was offering me a dirty key of coke and i said no no that’s too much and then ran towards the toilet in my skoolgirl skirt and get-up and saurav was waiting outside and they hated each other and the door magically swung open with hordes of people waiting and watching my beautiful arc of spew.

saurav this one time met me outside of the webcam model building where i use to work in the rain. i had my bike and the spaniard with me. saurav was drunk as hell and wanted a booty call and tried to secretly whisper it to me. the spaniard was miffed, we were to go to this after the film festival party where johnny soporno and giuilia wanted to fuck us, swingers that they are.

in any event i felt bad for the guy because his friends had the keys to his car and his apartment and he needed to crash someplace. sure. i give him my keys and write down my address and go off with the spaniard to the party but i’m wigged-out the whole time, worried saurav is going to fuck up. i sleep at spaniard’s kuz i don’t want a sticky mess with saurav.

the guy calls me the next day and says he was so drunk he couldn’t find my place so he fell asleep on a porch a few houses down, took off all his clothes and slept in his boxers. he lost my keys that fuck and couldn’t find them in the dark. luckily/stupidly they were laying someplace with MY ADDRESS too and you know what? someone found the little package and stuck it in my my mailbox, not letting themselves in and looting the place. saurav u retarded fuckbag.

so back to tim. i bought percs from the crazy whitetrashbag at work and me and tim would fight over them. that’s about it really ’til i moved downtown and tim followed suit soon after and we would walk to the liquor store in the am to buy grolsch.

and that’s the story of timnazi and company.

Patiently waiting

The elevator doors close

Time to fart is now

ok so i smoked some pot last nite but it’s ok. i felt like shizer for 48+ friggin’ hours and it needed to be done. after not smoking for awhile and then doing so u get loser-fuckeeeed. and i cut out carbs by 75 per cent so my energy was low too. i am wondering if it is hot enough to go tan in the backyard. i’m going to sing a song for jamie. trying to decide which one to do.

strangers who knew each other very well

tim fucking write about me already you louse!

i’m starting to get bacne. ew. it’s from my long porno hair and all the fucking on leather couches. heh.

may 5th 00h15;

i’m at work now.

In my grey cerruti suit.

I’m fuckin’ bored facing this computer, again.

I know you’re an idol

i know you’re bipolar, and, honestly, i don’t give a fuck.

I’ll be reading your blog, and i’m not expecting something special from you anymore, cause i know that you’re a crazy bitch, you’ll always be, we’ll never meet, and i don’t wanna disturb your “shitty little word” by turning it into an interesting conversation, cause you’re not able to have interesting conversations.

BYE

FRED

you know, everyone assumes i’m chained to a table ready and waiting to have intimate sexy conversations with them via emails, IMing, whathaveyou, it’s ridiculous. they get all tanky when i don’t respond or say shut up or something. i have armloads of emails like this. i’ll put ‘em all up at ihateraymi.com one day someday cumday. i apologize fred for getting bored fast of oh i want to nuzzle your neck and whisper shit in your ears ew blek maybe if you hook me up with a hotel room for a few months in gay paree wherever i’ll let you talk to me like i am marilyn monroe. i have enough old men pervs chasing my tail.

i’ll try to understand when you go down on your knees in front of a man

the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

what you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want

and if you tolerate this your children will be next

be thoughtful. not to be a martyr or doormat to be trod upon, but to be aware of other people and their needs. to meet others with awareness and within your own framework be able to meet them halfway and on occasion go the other half joyfully.

our deeds determine us as much as we determine our deeds

perfection is to be what we pretend to be

there is nothing so ridiculous but some philosopher has said it

we are not interested in the possibilities of defeat

it struck her for a moment that she would be happy if everything was dark and empty like this, if there was no one at all in the world, just this stillness and almost perfect silence, and if it would go on forever like that. she stood and listened, relishing the idea that in this space around her just now there were no thoughts or feelings for the future.

the key to failure is trying to please everybody

after i’m dead i’d rather have people ask why i have no monument than why i have one

you kin tame a wild-cat and a panther you kin tame anything, son, excusin’ the human tongue

i never seek to defeat the man i am fighting. i seek to defeat his confidence. a mind troubled doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. two men are equals – true equals – only when they both have equal confidence. – admiral yamamoto isokoru

to get off as being temporarily insane is blasphemy. if one kills another merely animal instinct. but to go into someone’s home and redecorate, that is considered to be temporarily insane.

a man’s presence suggests what he is capable of doing to you or for you. by contrast, a woman’s presence defines what can and cannot be done to her

if sound waves carry on to infinity, where are their screams now? somewhere in the galaxy, moving forever toward the psalms.