finally saw kill bill and thought the whole way through about how much uma’s nose looks like my nose and her damn bangs and all that jazz. man. i like how all that blood just explodes out of ‘em when they’re all slashed up. love it, love it.
Monthly Archives: April 2004
this guy keeps writing me and saying how shitty my writing is.
anyway, i had this dream that i had a talking dog and it told me it didn’t like the name i gave it and it use to be a girlhuman in a past life and it was abused and then i was driving a truck and it got all smashed up cuz i was chasing after this damn abused dog and the car was idling and then the room i had in this house had a square hole in the floor that led down to a well and these creepy red biting bats lived down there so i boarded up the hole but i could hear them trying to fly out of there to kill my dog.
there’s a hole exactly where my buttcrack is on these pants i’m wearing and i don’t have underwear on.
My Alcohoroscope
ARIES – Drinking style
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don’t know when to call
it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot
contests. They’re sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a
couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you
want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when
blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if
not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you —
so long as you haven’t gone and done anything really horrible to them last
night, you sneaky Gemini.
Trademark cocktails
Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of spicy food and
red things — and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat tomatoes,
onions, olives and greens. That’s right, Aries, you were born under the sign
of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and they’ve been known to
kick back a salty dog and a sea breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a
concoction with cinnamon liqueur in it.
Drinking buddies
Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Al Gore, Thomas
Jefferson, Elton John, Eric McCormack, Rosie O’Donnell, Sarah Jessica
Parker, Reese Witherspoon
the new friggin vice cd that is free and a compilation of various artists is so hot. it’s key. i said that hat is so gay in front of a gay salesclerk today. so hung. spent a million dollars on queen street. my dad backed into my friend’s car in the driveway. i think i need to sleep. i can’t find my sleepmask. i dropped so much shit today during lunch. some girl told me to watch where i was going yesterday and wanted to fight me kuz i fell into her and i lied and said someone pushed me. ha. bought a hotdog and couldn’t eat any of it. systems is renovated, finally doesn’t look like a dirthole.
i spilled beer a lot this weekend. got lost four times on the way to the skate park. lost monies at casino niagara. that wasn’t key. systems tonite.
that’s key.
yo the viking had to run out of his house naked because his psycho ex c-diddy chased his ass around with a knife and he got it all on film. that is so indie film/springeresque. wicked. now she’s in a fancy mental house. something about the water on the west coast – seems to make the bitches go maaad. i knew it all along.
walked around today on this beautiful good friday with my black friend in the whitest town in the world and he ate ice cream but i thought black people ate mud. right? then we skateboarded/fagboarded with jonathan. now some shit kids are playing street hockey in front of my house and two of them went onto my driveway. i’ll throw rocks at them. i will. then we went to the park and i saw this woman with one of those baby carrier slings ’round the front and her friggin’ dog was in it. what what? and i went down this big crazy hill sitting on my longboard. so cool. today was a cool day for me. bawston rob is wicked. lex was voted off. wah wah.
my face looks fat
