there is such a big space here.

i am

do you wanna buy my stuff? like, lots of it? i think you should. email and tell me what you want, in general, assume i own everything because i do, and assume im going to mail it to you, because i will. assume i have things that are worth copious sums of canadian, euros, usd ,quids, whatever, artwork, dirty knickers, photos, xeroxed journal entries from 1996 or 1994, my own perspective, about kurt cobain when he blew his face off and how i am so smart and whatever you might want to own, your fucking self-educated opinion on whatever is ecclectic, antique, worthy of ownage, personal value…

i dont fucking care, do you want to buy my ant farms and magazines and shoes and socks and candy and scissors, tape, tables, books, this is my marketing tool. if one fool reads my marketing tool and buys a stool (no, not the sample) and pays me twool, american dollhairs..etc etc whatever just email me if you want something. everything is private and confidential and i am the boss therefore i can and will not hesitate to say no to certain things, however negotiations are simple to take care of.

mama did’nae raise no fool.

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888

this is gnoll. he’s my biographer. he’s snarky and shit and older than dust and we use to date and but not really and now i can skateboard better than him i think but everyday he walks to work, even when it’s flying snow and slush kuz he was bred to be a bitter cold walk thru it anyway type guy. im going to help him get laid off from his work. that’s his dream. to be like me and not ever have to leave a house ever again. everyday i turn more and more into david letterman. people phobia. anyway, noel and that other guy nathan i think, he cuts hair, him and noel are going to need to talk to me more and film me being retarded again. eccentric. blargh. ill let you niggers know when the sex TV thing airs, it’s in june ‘stead of may. you haven’t missed it yet. have a nice day. me? i’m going to this orientation thing today they want to see if my liver is full of olives and stoli and vomit and urine, hehehh. this is so funny. and fun. my mum is driving me nuts. my mum is driving anti nuts. slkhf sd;fhds;kfhudsn;gkdhg;ldshg and we love her. i need breaks from everyone, everything, anything. i talk to animals now and they actually respond. it’s spring so theyre all getting un-knocked up by giving birth and shit all over my house and im like ahhhhh that fucking pigeon thing flew at my head kuz i was spying on my mom thru a window near this nest and i saw the thing come at me. the family of birds then decided to move their nest elsewhere. sorry. at least the babies hatched and shit otherwise the mum would eat them or something. she left one dude behind and i felt bad for him for a little while but eventually he flew away on his own like all birds realise they are able to do because they fucking have wings, right? but not til some predator comes along and stuff…. alright bye.

Dear Douglas Coupland

I no longer have a job.

I no longer have a “job-job” one of those real ones with a check every other week, you know what i mean?

Yeh, I no longer have one of those and it’s ok, it’s ok. I’m doing just fine.

Now I’ll have more of a disgusting amount of free time to sit around and make brilliant observations in an amusing light.

Maybe i’ll get welfare! cool!

Nawww. This career-change is suppose to motivate me to work harder and faster and get all the important things done and done right.

I saw my ex-boyfriend last nite. we went to his hotel and he told me about how he and she almost got arrested for prostitution. they were in the wrong part of town. it was a stroke of luck that i had decided to leave them at the bar and not stumble back to their hotel. perhaps things would have been different. meh.

My friend Jamie was suppose to meet you or you were suppose to sign this art book for some project he was working on over the past two weeks in Italy and your stuff is in the book too. he was suppose to walk up to you and tell you that you mean a lot to a girl living in the armpit of Toronto and then he would have given you my card with my url on it and email address and then you would have written to me and maybe be my friend.

things don’t always work out the way you want them to.

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888

Ant says:

being rich sucks too …ask my ex

raymi the WASP says:

yah

Ant says:

yah yah

raymi the WASP says:

everything sucks

raymi the WASP says:

thats why you stay in the middle

Ant says:

Everything�s great

raymi the WASP says:

and plot it yourself

Ant says:

Haha

raymi the WASP says:

which is what i did

raymi the WASP says:

but i came from a white collar family, pretty much

raymi the WASP says:

le burbs

Ant says:

we all gotta come from somewhere

raymi the WASP says:

where eccentricity is bred only within certain families

raymi the WASP says:

yep

raymi the WASP says:

everyone is special and shit

Ant says:

Ha

raymi the WASP says:

and some are not

raymi the WASP says:

you were famous , no?

raymi the WASP says:

your reggae stuff

Ant says:

oh very

raymi the WASP says:

do you want to do that jamming out shit again?

raymi the WASP says:

i can help you.

Ant says:

never

raymi the WASP says:

you�re lying

Ant says:

Nope

Ant says:

I have done it

raymi the WASP says:

so, you do not ever want to play again?

raymi the WASP says:

i mean.

Ant says:

just for fun.

Ant says:

but there is no time.

Ant says:

We could play in any city we want…there is no desire.

Ant says:

8 people would have to co-incide.

Ant says:

not going to happen.

raymi the WASP says:

i could set it up.

Ant says:

thank god.

raymi the WASP says:

and you can practice here or at my dads pad.

raymi the WASP says:

with me n him and others.

raymi the WASP says:

and me

Ant says:

would rather play with one of my hero’s or in a new band

raymi the WASP says:

he jams too. With his buddy. I�m gonna sing with/for their band thing. Starting anew. A new band with my dad, cool huh? I would do that with you too. I�m a fucking karaoke sensation, and everyone is copying what I did best and that band I use to be in, le neighborhood gang, well, it�s now defunct. Fuck them anyway. Politics,you know. I was meant to be the centre of my own band anyway�

Ant says:

Can�t even smoke weed anymore….

raymi the WASP says:

I�m basically inviting you to be my friend again.

raymi the WASP says:

and your lady friend too, of course.

raymi the WASP says:

but under certain stipulations.

Ant says:

Ok

Ant says:

friends we are.

raymi the WASP says:

thank you Big-ant.

raymi the WASP says:

for being my friend.

raymi the WASP says:

etc. etc�

Ant says:

real friendships never have any stipulations.

raymi the WASP says:

i mean it.

raymi the WASP says:

i know.

Ant says:

k

raymi the WASP says:

i mean like forget about negative shit

raymi the WASP says:

past things

raymi the WASP says:

i can�t talk about it all the time.

raymi the WASP says:

as it comes up, only.

Ant says:

Gotcha

raymi the WASP says:

a lot of traumatic things happened to me as a result of trying to help too, too many people in Toronto. I had to learn how to get out of that scene on my own.

raymi the WASP says:

it was my fault not leaving sooner

raymi the WASP says:

and/or getting involved in other people�s dramas.

Ant says:

you invited it …you won�t get any sympathy from me.

Ant says:

I tried to be a knight, in shining armor for my wife…MY FAULT.

raymi the WASP says:

i know.

raymi the WASP says:

i heard, rather.

Ant says:

my fault my kids don’t have a daddy in the house.

raymi the WASP says:

my friend tim told me

raymi the WASP says:

nice things about you

raymi the WASP says:

he really likes you

Ant says:

yeah he’s a good dude

raymi the WASP says:

it�s not your fault

raymi the WASP says:

ever

raymi the WASP says:

that�s what nihilism is

raymi the WASP says:

like

Ant says:

of course it is….we make our choices

Ant says:

Hah

raymi the WASP says:

right

raymi the WASP says:

but the mistake part is

raymi the WASP says:

the choice

raymi the WASP says:

only

raymi the WASP says:

but is it a mistake, really?

Ant says:

well I have 2 bootiful boys, so no

raymi the WASP says:

right

Ant says:

but u know what I mean

raymi the WASP says:

you can always look at it from a different perspective, i learned.

raymi the WASP says:

bad things happen

raymi the WASP says:

then good stuff happens

raymi the WASP says:

as a result

raymi the WASP says:

I�ve become sharper

Ant says:

no sitting around, blaming my childhood, and my parents, and my friends and ,,and, and�

raymi the WASP says:

as a result of bad things, basically too, like you

raymi the WASP says:

right

raymi the WASP says:

and I am able to be happy again

Ant says:

Overcome the angry by non-anger;

overcome the wicked by goodness;

overcome the miser by generosity;

overcome the liar by truth.

raymi the WASP says:

because I�m not flying around the world anymore

raymi the WASP says:

that�s some kind of zen

raymi the WASP says:

where did u get that from

raymi the WASP says:

some random jargon of inspiration

raymi the WASP says:

i like jammin� music too.

raymi the WASP says:

marley

raymi the WASP says:

when it�s hot out and the sun and the water and tress…beaches�

raymi the WASP says:

they cook ital foods, they as in Jamaicans.

raymi the WASP says:

style.

Ant says:

It�s a Buddhism saying.

raymi the WASP says:

mobay = montego bay

Ant says:

very ital

Ant says:

Heh

raymi the WASP says:

they go by the sun and by the gods

raymi the WASP says:

and that�s even how

raymi the WASP says:

they um,

raymi the WASP says:

fucking plant the gardens

raymi the WASP says:

that grow the seeds that they make their own bread and fruits and shit that they eat.

raymi the WASP says:

…etc etc they don�t eat shit though. Maybe they do?

Ant says:

Here�s another good one.

Ant says:

If a man going down into a river,

swollen and swiftly flowing,

is carried away by the current —

how can he help others across?

raymi the WASP says:

i read this book you must read by russel banks and it�s called rule of the bone. Read it.

raymi the WASP says:

they can step on his bloated carcass.

raymi the WASP says:

hahahaha.

Ant says:

lol

Ant says:

my favorite of all time

Ant says:

Irrigators regulate the rivers;

fletchers straighten the arrow shaft;

carpenters shape the wood;

the wise control themselves.

Ant says:

whores suck cock.

Ant says:

and fuck.

raymi the WASP says:

is that what it means

Ant says:

har har.

raymi the WASP says:

i couldn�t figure it out some fag is trying to talk to me on msn.

Ant says:

It�s all about control.

Ant says:

There is no such thing as depression.

raymi the WASP says:

i agree

raymi the WASP says:

but, there is such a thing as depression.

raymi the WASP says:

as well.

raymi the WASP says:

we can argue any subject.

raymi the WASP says:

i can write essays in my fucking head now.

raymi the WASP says:

and maths.

raymi the WASP says:

i was a valedistorienne.

raymi the WASP says:

haha.

raymi the WASP says:

kindergarden – grade 8

raymi the WASP says:

religious schooling shit, nahmean?

raymi the WASP says:

I am thinking of getting more sacraments. Heh.

raymi the WASP says:

or something.

raymi the WASP says:

divorces in america are way worse, ant.

raymi the WASP says:

WAY!

raymi the WASP says:

there is more money at stake.

raymi the WASP says:

i was in cali you know.

Ant says:

try and find a study that depression has been proven to exist clinically…there isn’t one

Ant says:

not than mine

Ant says:

its got everything

Ant says:

it would shock springer.

raymi the WASP says:

well kiddo

raymi the WASP says:

im depressed

raymi the WASP says:

clinically

raymi the WASP says:

and bipolar

Ant says:

yeah yeah

raymi the WASP says:

that�s a chemical imbalance

Ant says:

hang on i’ll send you something

raymi the WASP says:

i know it better than you

Ant says:

no proof

raymi the WASP says:

no offense

raymi the WASP says:

ill prove anything

Ant says:

Ok

raymi the WASP says:

ive proven it to 40 doctors at south ucla

raymi the WASP says:

psyche ward

raymi the WASP says:

i was placed

Ant says:

haha

raymi the WASP says:

under a 72

raymi the WASP says:

hour hold

Ant says:

You�re badly behaved�

raymi the WASP says:

they thought i had a secret stash

raymi the WASP says:

of amphetamines

raymi the WASP says:

they fucking strapped me down like a lab monkey, wrist/ankle restraints you know�

Ant says:

my wife did …of Dexedrine

raymi the WASP says:

and stabbed me with a needle in my left hipthing near my ass kinda, I was screaming and crying and all this shit� I didn�t get it at the time. I thought it was a joke.

raymi the WASP says:

you are incorrect

raymi the WASP says:

u are under-informed

raymi the WASP says:

its not until you go to the states, to the west

raymi the WASP says:

and experience the most traumatic of experiences

raymi the WASP says:

only then

Ant says:

yes called boredom

raymi the WASP says:

you are allowed to make statements

Ant says:

Boredom

raymi the WASP says:

like

raymi the WASP says:

“depression and clincally…” in the same sentence, not existing

raymi the WASP says:

bipolar, stems from depression

raymi the WASP says:

boredom

raymi the WASP says:

thatsa copout

raymi the WASP says:

gimme another reason as to why you believe depression

raymi the WASP says:

is non-existing, off the top of yer head

raymi the WASP says:

ill

raymi the WASP says:

brb

raymi the WASP says:

im back

raymi the WASP says:

did you google a reason yet??

raymi the WASP says:

heheh

raymi the WASP says:

remember, you cant blame anything

Ant says:

Brb

raymi the WASP says:

you cant blame boredom, from suburbia, you cant blame your parents for living in suburbia

raymi the WASP says:

and you cant blame suburbia

raymi the WASP says:

you cant blame the globe, and nothing

raymi the WASP says:

this is what nirvana is, finding it, being one, and nothing, truly

raymi the WASP says:

im typing this live as i think it in my head, this quickly, with and or without gramatical errors

raymi the WASP says:

and, neglection of

raymi the WASP says:

syntax, what

raymi the WASP says:

have you

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

Ant says:

gotta go

Ant says:

u freak

Ant says:

speak to u later

raymi the WASP says:

freak?

raymi the WASP says:

dont ever fucking call me that again

raymi the WASP says:

i mean it

raymi the WASP says:

bye

Ant says:

ok freak

Ant says:

i mean luv

raymi the WASP says:

thats better

Ant says:

[emoticon that has the smiley face guy except he is not smiling, his eyes are big like white dinner plates and he has tiny black dots for eyes in the middle of the dinnerplate eyes and his lips are a thin straight line and he looks like he is exasperated maybe but also wide eyed which helps raymi remember that she needs to blink more and type faster and stuff and move onto some other thing on le internet. K bye.]

raymi the WASP says:

even better

raymi the WASP says:

freak is a general term used to describe extraordinary people

raymi the WASP says:

or sad people

raymi the WASP says:

whatever

raymi the WASP says:

don�t do it

raymi the WASP says:

basically

Ant says:

K

raymi the WASP says:

some people are hypersensitive. Some of the time.

raymi the WASP says:

k bye.

Ant says:

lates’

——————————————–

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888

aye think aye need tae take aye shit.

due things as you know how to do them best. from how you taught yourself in the beginning and from what someone helped you with all along. thank you ward and dave o’sulliedvindiesL.

my hits have been down for way too long well i dunno this much so far. i havent been writing or reading or internetting ive been living and running my bipolarity brains into overdrive and my heart rate too so fucking way much you know i dont want to die i dont want a heart attack i dont want a fucknig kerouac pre 47 years of age death by way of heart explosions and the like. stream of consiousness. where do you think that comes from other than from kerouac? other than my third cousin and stuff? and then my mom’s second fucking cousin an dthen my papa’s first fucking cousin? yep. and then the logical part of raymitheminx and shit? the white ango saxon protestant part of me however, raised catholic, the fucking right way? mebbe perhaps. in canada was right. by over-tired teachers is right. passionate teachers is right, better informed? who knows. opinions are just opinions you know? no reason to fucking fight all the time. all the time. im letting the past delete itself slowy but surely. i feel jinxed because i wanted the whole world to look at me. the whole world. do you want that too? i think sometimes you might. or one time you did. you need to be looked at or you need to look at yourself, in order to learn, to live and to love and then to forgive and realise that yeh, people, are just people and that they do not know that of which whatever…i take everything personally, i did, or i do and it made me crazy. i let it, i scripted it. i wanted a crazy room i wanted a crazy life i wanted doctors and stuff but i wanted to write a book and i started it all, plot characters love fucking underage shit bla bla all that stuff that gets junky fuckers hooked on reading, lesbian nurse and crazy patient scenario and then the evil head male doctor that raymi had to mindfuck or kill or something, outthink that guy to get out of there. my fucking cousin, also third relation to kerouac fucking inspired me to script this little minx trap, conjure that image, and im trying to tell him now all about it. he read me this depressed poetry shit and then it all began and i wrote the first page and a bit and even typed it, left it on the table thing in our livingroom for my mom an dad to see, i was pretty damn proud. i think i was 14, now i think i may have been 13, possibly 12. everyone was always older than me. i called it “Outcast Society” immediately. so that’s mine. raymi was lauren’s name. lauren is me. i was the narrator. i did not understand so much about narration and third person speaking and the like…tra la..but i knew i was the best at writing and mathamatiques and sciences and all that shit. i learned bilingual shit of le francaise kind. i can type it better you know and now i remember it again. i know spanish better now too and mehicano and deafness and blindess and illness and pains and on and on and on…sdkgds;kgf;eht you know these things too. you have inner dialogues.

here in my heart…hear in my head….no no no nono…no i dont know….nonoonononooo….download pulp’s, seductive barry right now.

roll the soundtrack and dim the lites cuz im not going home tonite.

change the song if what you are writing about is boring. if it’s boring to you, however.

you can start emailing me again. all of you. hotmail gave up on my past desired emails directed to suitesoleil, that old thing. ahh hell.

go to raymiraymi@yahoo.ca or parkdaleraymi@hotmail

fucking spam mail follows me everywhere anyhow, where am i now

im afraid of a lot of things. too too many. im suppose to be safe everywhere. youre suppose to be safe everywhere. anywhere.

in planes on trains in the planes in maine insane sane of sound mind and thought and intellect and beauty and inner strength.

will yourselves better. be your own fuckhead only. make mistakes and apologize immediately.

say, “i’m sorry” when you fuck up. dont say fuck unless you have to. be aware of children and animals and dogcrap and rain and lightning bolts and dangers and sars and pedophiles on the loose. dont be a target. dont let paranoia hurt you. burn you. dont do things that get in you. dont let people think you did the bad things and if you did them and they do find out, dont be shamed. dont be shamed. shame on you once. shame on you twice if you do it again. nihilism and all that zen crepe, all of it is relevent, all of it. the niggers of spain. the spics and jews and french and brits and irish and the niggers of italy and the niggers of niggers of whites and lesbians and fags and on and on

im fine now. im finer now. like a fine wine, with age, gets better.

there’s a better haiku for you.

less words, lesser words. lesser sentences. slow down the rhythym and pace. type to music tune out everything for awhile. but sometimes you need to type the way you know best.

dont let my paranoia kill you.

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888

april whatever the fuck

im leaving on a fucking jet plane to go to the effin� never eat shredded wheat coast. And I love all the assholes , everyone I forced myself to be friends with for my own basic need and desire or whatever the fuck I chose to help people and they chose to fuck with me, my life, my love, in every sense of the fucking word. This. This is the beginning of my fucking piece of a shit book, life, whatever

fuck you all literally in every sense of the word.

But, goddammit.

I love you in the end.

Antiwins. Dot com.

Anyhow I have not had time to fucking tell you all goodbyes or hellos how are yous and this is sort of a sarry letter. Fuck sars. I have all photos and evidence of all everything and everyone who tried to stop me but didn�t. and im coming back anyway. And ill tell comeback home dates to all who I want to be there to do the helloes and goodbyes.

Im going to meet tony pierce

And all the other l-ame-oes

L AYMES

Whatever.

People who live in la are L-ayme

Im L-ayme.

When this plane lands for crying out loud we are going straight to that beach.

That�s the birthday present I shoulds got to myself

It would have

Prevented all this mess

But I am doing it right this time.

If I smell a fuckins snake a mile away

I am not going to mentally cockblock

That shit

Oh no

Way

I swear

This is the fuck you goodbye hello I forgive you

No guilt open letter that I am writing from flight 1553

To LAX

With

Anti

Beside

Me

Anty

Whatever

Fuck the gay faglove homo shit

Heereh

This is going to be hoo ha ha

In the end.

Love you too laura petrie.

Anyway

Debbies here giving me my fucking alcoholic bev�s

Finally

That girl is more than a flight attendent.

Props Debbie it is 7 43 canada time,

What time is it where you are?

I want to know if you can remember.

Oh it�s 444 in lax?

Perfect.

Oh yes alicjia is giving us some rold golds now

Niiiice

We want 4 buds

But mebbe we wont be able to drink em all /

Im not going to lie to you guys anymore

Well I never really did

Ever

And u knew that

All those crazy assumptions

Mebbe 24 percent of them

Are true.

I knew anti before all of you

He snuck in threw the bathroom window

No one expected this

Even raymi

The minx

Looks like itll be two Heinekens in the keg format

And some free pretzels.

Niice.

Ahh I just heard her crack ythe shit over my left shoulder

Around the corner from seats 20d and 20 e and I guess seat # 20f

Im gonna write about the super duper mega awesome biatch in seat 20 f

Anne-juh-luhh

As my homie from whos the fucking boss would say.

Anti already got her effin pic

Nice anti

Antiwins that one

I already got my bitch debbie�s winly permission to get that antismoking decal

Off the door

In the cameraless bathroom

Hahahahhahahahaha

Anyhow

No time to laugh

I have winamp and this word doc to fly like no tomorrow til the battery dies.

I should save now.!~

Doje

Nr

Donme

Done

I like making mistakes

Mistakes are funny

Yah

So I love you all

Lets look on my laptop for fun now

Or ill edit some already unseen fotos

After im done listing to snakpimps avec radiohead

I heard those guys might be a little good at their jams

So good they don�t gotta effin market it

Or advert

Good

For

Fuckingthem

Everything you read in here

Is

True

All of it

Save for whatever

U knoiw

Anti is force feeding pretze;ls

Fag

That�s my victory

And his

Whatever

We all win

Evil never does

And I got 20 years of proof

Bet me

Assholes

Now

Iuts time for fucking gerri halliwell

Love her for leaving those spice bitches

They couldn�t be happy for their own bitch\\

Ive been one dollar dissing everyone

Not anymore

I gotthe money

Some of it

To pass around

I don�t even have time for evil

Aka tell offs

Not til a week

I only havetime for lovey I love you emails

Or whatever

Don�t call me unless u have nice news

Or tell me shit about your shit

Three sistser since literally the beginning of time

Have been raped

One barely 12

She was held down

By three �boys�

And her councellor

Said

It

Was

Her

Fault

That councellor bitch

Im getting all the proboner legal advice

For free

Don�t worry

Here�s is a lesson

Take on bets when u know u will win

There u go

Don�t worry oh slumlord

Contract can be null and void

Even verbal ones

Right blond anna? Miss I know famous people.

That�s youre own problem

You should be famous

U signed the I don�t and cat be famous or say im secretly sexing a famous

PERSON contract.

Not me.

You are insecure and who�s fault was that

U forced me to say mean things

And then there is the blond girl

The first hot insecure one

Who I threw the fuck out for trying to bone

My 4 year man

Go back to scarbourough

Scarberia.

But whatever

Scarboro-ho.

Anti made that one up

Oh u kissed him first?

Yah in secret at yer job

For months

Whatever

Nothing is ever your fault?

Lonely?

I don�t care. I don�t have time to even call u fromthis plane

Or anyone

Emails go both ways

And fones too.

Bye for now. Xoxoox

Love you too jg

Family

And business

For

Life

Promises

Will

Not

Be

Broken

Unless

There

Is a

Reason.

Oh hi dugan

Im listin to pete yorn

Gentlemen, meet Lauren white.

Ahem.

Bye.

For real this time? Noi. No. im minimizing for adobe.

No im closing for adobe and this flight

And ill write more later and anti too.

Who wins?

8 0 2 pm beer and food and me time now.

Fuck u unanig is ungagi in sf or fucking b winning at listenb something hfsd;l hfdnet yetsz;flkjdsf�ds ?

There is no connection to the main brain of dumthnglkdfg; d

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888

please dont be mad at me anymore for not typing and stuff. anyone ive nicely called and left nice messages for please call me back. i have some of your shit. you have some of mine. we’ll have a swap-meet, otehrwise im just showing up one day, unannounced and like, asking you why you were such fucking fuckheads to me and yah, whatever we had/have beef, i havent publicly named names or talked S about you so this blog is about venting rage all over again, self-loathing, talking about why toronto fucking sucks bigtime just like any other eastern coast city, burb, small town, fucking whatever. repent your sins, dont make shit up to try and get someone to be your boy/girlfriend again and just like, you know, be nice to each other. oh yah, and me too.

dont let blogs take over your life. pretend ive had mine since 19 fucking ninety nine. oh wait, i have.

ill be on that sex tv thing nearer to june they say.

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888