< blo ck quote on oldschool stripped templates gets me into , could look better...etc etc sumtrhing sumthing. mental note, do it first for every post for this blog. [fullstop. end transmission.] >

hey fffags. i need help doing stuff. like, real assistants. freelance ones first, whatevs. pretend maybe you’ll get paid and then after i help get you laid from like sending me photos of funny shit i ask you to do [ like public displays of grandeur, uhhh, drunken slurring, karaoke … anything i might do. try and do it before me]

did you like that frad fitt/ edward norton fight club movie?

me too.

but it was too too douglas coupland a la ikea etc etc [ i mean it was great kuz of this, the narration was brilliant. it’s great that people like movies that i would have dug when i was at least in grade ten i think. i was always skipping highskool grades and being drunk etc tsdf dfkulc].

i haven’t even been to ikea all that much. prolly under 6 times. you might assume i live there? or pier one now adverted by uhhh, kirsty ally? imports all these places i know them from media. too much of it. fffucking eh. gucking hell. i cant write properly kuz i hate doing my own editting while im trying to tell you one thought/opinion at a time.

anyway, just one by one ask questions, email write, i don’t care. just dont treat me like a celebrity kuz i hate that but i like it when i get shit on by my own people because they’re bored of gays and mods and punk and everything and now i know why i love university kids and shit. i like professors better and crazzy doctors because they let me stand there and just fucking tell them why im so damn cool and bipolar and opposite and stuff. shout outs get to me first. then one of various email accounts might not overpopulate my inbox. i was always a junky for emails and voicemails but emails first. etc etc etc

this blog i never lied. i was just vague. there are few lies. everything was pretty much almost true.

i hate blogs because i wanted my book to be published first

outcast society then it was the last minx but raymi was the name for lauren white and she was in a ward of some sort in toronto. i didnt know any real names. i was 14 then i saw that “girl interrupted” with winona and angelina jolie and that fat for the moment brittany murphy girl were in the mvoie i was writing for myself, a book. i hated it. i did, it sucked. and then i started getting into real trouble etc etc etc and then i realised this raymi the minx shit, wow, cool. but it’s a lot harder on the east coast when you’re like miserable and you dont have a loser boyfriend, just fuck buds of eyr choice and a few random chicks who want you to molest them and yer all liek fuck man, i just wanna sit around and get trashed and try and hop fences and then girls are all like lauren, ble he ble bhe lbelv this guy i want him so bad etc etc and yeh no i dont wanna make out [ then lauren falls asleep] and then the beast is all hours later, ……L….blsef jsdhfi;vgk;f lets like sd,bl kf;gh and lauren is all fine you slut [ to herself] and then yah, thats the part i cringe at why? i dont fucking wait to be a sloppy 3rd.

i asked her and she was all busy talking abouty some loser kid from highschool, and then tried to fuck about 2-3 of my dude friends andtheyre all like, whats up with your female? and im all like yeh, shes older than me but i dont like try and fall all over myself anymore because im skinnier and waspy and shes fucking a hot spic crazy wantsto fuck now or never doesnt matter the gender type girl.

anyway, i like novels. novellas. im making a ton of books. all independent press. all me all eventually. im opening my own store. im doing the art show and a re raymi’s 19th nervous breakdwon post pre bday party

i never went

thats why i fucking hate birthdays

they always suck but at least 2 days later – ten years we all look back are all all…”bluuuughh….that was so funny.”

tho inside you’re all i hate everyone theyre mean to me im going to fucking sue them i swear to god or blackmail or get arrested twice in LA and get sent to the fucking winona ryder movie psyche ward and then realiswe that im so damn cool over here and they think im crazy.


mixed responses of emotions from that. thats liek when im typing on msn im all like




{blep. bleep. bleeeeeeeep… bill gates./coupland/microserfs/when is that movie going to be made? i want to – narrate/act/anything/film/be the napkin folder or the loser fuckhead}

i just want internet oen a at a time bnuddies back. no sex. pretend im castrated and im all way too chill to drink that koolaid in jamestown massacre or something. i hatethe world i hate area codes and i love oprah and doctor phil can always go and doctor phuck hisself

kuz he screams therapy and fear and insecurities of being old and bitter and whatves into helping others. he is meant to heal the wounds of fat retarded americans, anyway because it’s not my problem. my shows/movies/tv everything media all of it is mine so if you wanna steal it first, fine go ahead.

be prepared for a lot of fucking pro boner lawsuits/ legal shite etc etc etc

im a free agent only once, free advice and being nice, once and one time only. i have at least 2500 emails to sort n all frum diff accounts. lemme edit my own shite or you can just shit around and wait for me to do that.

im my own clique of bloogs. ive had mine since 1999 and thats kuz of jacob smid in toronto of emergeworld.com now defunct and then vice boards the original hate/lovers said to me yah fuck off raymi, and that i did……..

i like em. there is no hate. just a im doing my own shite it;s a coincidence that yer in uk now kuz like i have to be there in august for a wedding, family type shite. im looking into my own world real estate. i know how do things cheapest. family – friends – then do it yerself.

forcedindependence.com ? why dont you tryand steal ideas. memes, common consciousness, stream type shit. like when we all slam the shit outta elevator buttons, why do we all do that when we know it’s been pressed already by some fat guy? ebcause it’s a meme.

meaning: ?

im not white trash. im not a pill head. i never did heroin. i was a valedictorian and all that gay shit and i actaully am related to that fag kerouac guy however , my dad’s side was total wasp and clashed but yeh, thats my own family shit and i was neevr beat up or abused or raped. i was spoiled by white collar boredom.

lauren white sucks.


ill be back east by tues………….monday….?

no one ever told me i was hot.


i understand only when they are nervous and then i get crazy and neurotic and goofy because then like that mtv jenna chick, shes goofy [ which over ehre u call it peckerwood, on the east coast in jail it’s not goofy like in disney moovies. etc etc etc ]

and only then i realise that theyre nervous or want to have sex with me and i remember i am just a lonely neurotic piece of shit who isnt lonely anymore and likes to scream at B aLoney pierce’s television unit and talk to the scientologists cross the street and hear him talk about fouling up sluts. ahhahahahha/ uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. thanks tony. whens my that potato chip and onion dip and one beer and glass of water party?????????/

insert emoticon at yer pleasure… [leisure] lehhh- zuuuuuuuuuur, like the brit/french/italian/porchugeuse……. way]


im way too hot for teacher. thanks beaches boys, strip club flies. kevin march and? i hope yer girl is hot n sassy. yep.

hi. prontopalbooze-uhhh! op laz booze ah?wehateporngood.

this be the clique, everyone chinks is aboot pussy ‘n stains on the rug[s].

reversified. ding. cowgriL styles.

ps – this guy, pffft. or whatever. don’t assume anything. i just wanna eat some fucking honky ass food with bL o n T y and talk aboot why i dont want to break a fekkin’ bone or shatter my shister/wrists. ok?


thanks guise. it’s been swell.


im actually quite petrified of breaking a bone. ive never done that yet. i want to get my own faggy wrist smashing gaurds [shatter-prevention etc etc] as well as knee pads, but apparantly anti sez that would be too gay if i had dirty knee pads and i obviously do not suck enough dick to justify wearing drrty shit fuck pads why? kuz its cooler when you have bloody fucking knees. yeh. totally.


hi guys. according to geo-tracking and all that other shit, you guys like it more when i dont show my boobs and butts and stuff. good.

heherhehtdbrl thkg.

im just figuring out [owt] which photos to randomly scatter for you. i left my pentax usb/port thing somewhere. i never lose important stuff. so if it’s gone well, then pentax should be like, raymi, here is another free onesince you are the best at every fucking photo we have ever seen. yeh.

no not scabby or scabies or sand crabs. anti said that i might get sand crabs and i beliefed him. why? im smart like that. canadian/brits are the most bitter because 1. lauren white is still under 21 in this usa 2. i like littering all over yer county zoned/patrolled whatvs. 3. i got arrested twice in under 36 hours for the first time in my life 4. i sang oh canada on top of cars, the last one being a red one 7. 8. this is funny but too scarey for me./

i hate cops. i hate everyone. but i love em. why?


in canada they let me walk around 24/7 and fall iinto shit and whatvs and are like, im so bored of this raymi girl, she sucks so much and im all Good! i DO suck. FINe fuck you. ill go go dance for free and everything FOR free why? im tired of being nice to everyone. im so damn tired of being the best at everything and wining. i hope my heart ex fucking plodes and then al the hitler zit moustache zits on my upper lip one by one burst to the tune of leaf – me – a – Lone….etc etc etc etdfgn df’gkldfgkldfn

stop making me tangent every 1-3 days. there are too too many emails. i choose randomly. one at a time. send it once or send it to all trillion accounts.

k im dying my hair “sangria” a la garnier nutrisse. etc etc

my hair is too sun whatvs and i dotn want it to turn into frazzle rock just yet. so im adding some stupid dye and dfklng ;bnldfbnl it doesnt matter because i haevnt even fuckin gone swimming in the ocean and if the dye bleeds all over my stupid face,. it will be even funnier because i got another extra box for free and then a 99 cent (USD) piece of hot wheels “collectors….” crepe….

[raymi cant find a lot of her shit. one thing she doesnt own yet? a fakur cop hat. no im not on meth. bye. blonty is the NMe.]..

bLonty u have to choose 161 characters from yer rateyermusic shout outs….. then republish or something. i typedtoo much. whups.

i just realised i dont need to fucking < block quote> anymore. i also learnedthat i am a really good skateboarder and suerfer churl etcetc and hi hi asshole. see you soon. mods suck. always. lets go train to oldsville. ehhehh. u know i was borned in truh-fagler l’opital? it’s true. bong’s variety is even funnier too.

i already forgot what i was doing….oh right. skateboarding on carpet. dog town fag boys style.

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i tried to tell you that yer can-on camera = sucky. let me show you why PC + APPLE + coupland.com and all that other trivia shit is always tap yer blonty nose of tony blair etc etc durrrr. [im my own mentor/editor/boss/super nova etc etc./…..] i want a pizza party with creamy garlic dipping sauce and i want the pizzas to have crumbly bacon and zesty cheese on it. why? pizza pizza is Acadian and fuck usa for not having it here already. next, tell me all the canadian/USA / everyone sucks equally etc etc bsdjl;gh sdn;psdghh why do we care aboot blogs, anyway something somthing i need at least 50gs of fat per day or ill explode [from the inside or sum,thingsumthuing literally] [i think] [methinks]. and i dont bulimia that shite out? why? i hate vomitting but i love it when it comes out like a fountain. ask the real N-words of toronto [ie tyranny]. or something. i like yer nayborehood. “Sigh – ent – awwww – LOe – jeeeeeeeeee……” from that airplane movie, lesly neilsen i think. [u sed they would follow us and we believed you. i watch them watching me and then i try and jump over garbage cans and stuff. did u knowthat there is no provincial laws ehre? why? kuz this is USA. ahhahaha. rofl. whatevs. ] i wish there were raymism’s keyboards. why? because then upside down mexican question marks would be manditory on every fucking button, which, btw, is a PC [implied however bill gates saved apple. why didnt anyone read microserfs or generation x yet by douglas coupland? yes theyre my bibles….] a Ctrl alt delete what???? i need to eat some chinese/pizza/wings/deep fry that [potentially] everything can kill canadian freakshows. yueh. tangents. straight-up. full-stop. sdbglvgngfnh. when is this party? am i invited? can i come? can it be in the safest most jehovah part of blue license plate town? old plates? old fucking old people are hilarious. when can we throw u inthe back of that sausagemobile or can we drive around yer walking around in yer lakers huey heffner robe….bla bla yes is the answer. make sure some phat people are @ this “party” and other people who would let me ash all over their open palms and then they would say, “thank you, razzmi.” and i’d say, “you’re welcome.” and then jump in front of yer cancerous satellite dish. ahshadg lasidygfsdv.fkhvsddk.sdbf sdhf.;sdso’sdbnl/f less fat = crazzy bloog posts./ bi. and yes, in the end, too many people make me have to wait outside being a hilarious neurotic piece of ill eat all the food in the end in yer tub wearing my shaq shoes and listen to ZwuAn etc etc and ill chainsmoke and breath gasoline. i like LA.

raymi and anti came over and visted me on easter sunday because theyre born again like me and wanted someone to fellowship with.

first lets talk about anti because when you have two big personality types like dumbass (moi) and raymi, theres not a lot of space to get a word in edgewise. fortunately anti isnt the type of guy who seems to worry very much about getting a word in edgewise. he seems perfectly content to sit on the couch with his feet up looking way too much like ad rock, being far too mellow while drinking his beer, and at the same time very attentive to raymi’s needs. i think he has a little crush on her.

who wouldnt?

my girl raymi has it all. shes young, fun, and full of canadian trivia.

like nearly everyone that ive met in real life who i originally was made aware of through this blogger thing, raymi is far prettier in the flesh. and, sadly, less nude.

raymi has a blog called i think manic. she doesnt think manic. she thinks and she says it and i like it. she touches her nose for emphasis and i think it means something.

because it was easter raymi got dressed up. extra dressed up since we had never met. she wore a black striped jacket and a tshirt. her jeans were fashioably ripped at the knee, freshly, it looked like, and accidentally since i think i spied a cut on her bare knee. she had things written on her jeans, but i dont stare.

she did have a button on her lapel that simply said fuck in all caps.

her hair was reddish orange. it was up. then she shook it out and it was down. then she stole anti’s hat. then she took off antis hat and put my pick in her hair.

then she started talking and she didnt stop.

if you tried to get a word in edgewise she would tell you timeout and keep going.

anti would jump in and tell her that she should be careful with a certain train of thought because it might actually drive her manic, and she would listen.

made me think she had a little crush on him.

they seemed to work great together.

raymi is constant motion. a tornado of ideas and theories and swirling commentary. shes childlike with the wisdom of a poet on acid. she likes to smoke. she smoked a bunch with anti and they put out their butts in the little container of ranch dressing. after i warmed up some pizza slices she poured garlic powder on it and looked at the ranch dressing ash tray and wished she hadnt ashed in it cuz now she wanted to dip her pizza in there.

shes skinnier than youd think. she gets tall and gets short within minutes. i saw her levitate. but just for a second.

if i had something bad on tv she would ask me to pause it or turn it down three or four. if something was good she would ask me to turn it up four or five. she wasnt afraid to ask for what she wanted. mostly she wanted things to smoke drink eat watch or listen to. often times all in the same moment.

on one hand i was happy to to oblige. these were great people whose blogs i greatly admired. on the other hand it did get to be a little part time job all its own, but i didnt mind. raymi’s rad as hell and if i ever have a talk show she will be my ed mcmahon. i asked her if she would and she said yes.

raymi, 20, is from canada. we know this because she says aboot. we also know this because she says things like, they paid me 500 american. she talks a lot about alex trabeck too. lots of things not canadian are canadian to her. its cute. if you call her on it she’ll just get going on something else. she has it bad for douglas copeland and bill gates, in that order.

i took lots of pictures but none of them turned out very well cuz i suck.

i want to have a party this weekend at someones house so that we can celebrate this canadian celebrity.

she wants to be a star, but she already is one.

shout outs are even better than my blog. blonty tole me i dont give hinm any hits? pffft. i dont have time for media frenzy[ies]. im going to [m,ebbe] see that jew in las faggahs] so. yah. with or w/out yer help. blowme fiErce. ehhh. fhsdlkfg sduklhi jg.

anti added that dumb photo and didnt do the proper old school line break conversion. im a self-taught html junky. and my template is too too oldschool styles, bustifucking kated. see you all sooon. postcards are in the jail/mail.

bye. for now.

razzmi = ihateraymi.com and jealousytraps.com and misymiu.com and uhh other things i already own the domain/all rights whatevs to. catholics suck. even over here.

especially over queer.


big bad anti says:

are you ever embarrassed at what you masterbated to?

big bad anti says:

like what you were thinking about to get off….

Andrea says:


big bad anti says:

my shit is always so cheeseball

Andrea says:

i just jerk off watching shitty tv these days but i used to have really crazy fantasies when I was a kid

Andrea says:

they were all like about magical beings.

Andrea says:

and other worlds

big bad anti says:

really, like hantai?

Andrea says:

because I was such a dork with no friends, i thought in some alternate universe

Andrea says:

i would find some guy that would fuck me

big bad anti says:

or at least an alien with tentacles

Andrea says:

that stuff gets me hot

Andrea says:

the monsters

Andrea says:


big bad anti says:

whoa… cool.

One of my favorites was that I had this jar of white powder that I could sprinkle on anything, any animal or object, and it would turn into something to fuck me.

Another one was this weird underground system of slides, in the dark, and I would go down this long slide and end up in a room full of boys and then I got to pick one out, or they got to pick me out, or something. I used to jerk off with a teddy bear, and one of them I made spank me. haha. And I had this friend when I was 6 and we used to tell each other smut and jerk off. I wonder if she remembers that. Also, I used to have lesbo dreams where I had a dick and was fucking chicks, and I was like “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH this is the shit” then I would wake up and be like…what is wrong with me!!


divalproex 500 mg tab Qty: 63. generic for depakote, discard after 6/05 lauren white. leaf her alone. hwehhrdh fgdfipgbmdfb’v.