today is a wonderful day. my ovaries are harvesting the most severe amount of surrealistic pain, like squeezing alien eggs that are green and venemous and i am no longer a fat, water-retaining piglet. ahhh.

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888

i’m not sure, but there’s a good possibility i may perhaps be banned from the gladstone hotel. wink wink wank.

i don’t have time for nuthin’ . someone find me a new loft. please. i need a real estate someone agent.

look im a playdoh head run lola run bitch cunt fifth element whatever. should i make it so i have matching nether regions?

fluorescent firesnatch supreme. oh YES! like that one blondgirl?

ok everyone ready for my drunken manifesto for growth, expansion and all that other jazzy shit? wanna know why i think i’m kingshit everywhere i go and why blond girl seahag ice cold pussy etcetera etcetera etcetera (spoken like willy wonka at the end of charlie ‘n the chocolate factory at the end when charlie gets busted for like betraying that child molestor of a factory wanker…anyhow, willy is all dude these are the terms u never read the rules and like etcetera..bla bla…and charlie gets sad and grampa joe is all like blow me you fuck..?””) wanna know why we’re so amazing cool and fucking irritating and . ..

well assholes, we’re merely exposing this fucking culture that you asshole hipster supercool style fags whatever the fuck are a part of and you could do it too, except you don’t, (well maybe, but u suck at it because i never heard of you.) you’d rather sit there like fucking hee-haw ducks and say, “raymi is so naked and her tits and shut up…she is like so porno i am so annoyed by her, shes white trash bla bla blaaaa.” well, do you get almost 60,000 hits a month and have media banging down your goddamn door? im a fucking lone soldier trying to succeed and start something, and involve you and shit and yer all negative. u should read this month’s vice, the happiness issue. it’d take that bitchy moan outta yer system. fuckheD. and gavin if you want those niggerlips you have to give me ad space and/or make me employee of the month. i want to write to lesley arfin and that guy in jail too and a follow-up to vice ruined my life, – “why raymi failed at vice magazine” it’s amazing. the pages glow like the sun. i am not lying. ok.

back to telling you “fanatics” off.

you pieces of lame can stay in buck idaho..

whatever i have a party going on and someone just put lipstick all over mikey’s drunk asleep face and i have to take pictures of it. im not allowed to be anti social anymore as well, michael jackson is playing. bye.

all im saying is, dont complain about me, create yer own fun and success and then we can talk about something. dont call me fat unless u send me a photo of yourself the same goes for ugly comments. i can help you. you know. remember the name: missy miu. ok bye. i havent really slept in 4 days and eaten anything and i already told u im all raspy and shit. but im hot so it all evens out. hot hot hot. fuck you.

mum, i’ll call you tomorrow. hold tight. sorry i freaked out “freddy” my brother. wuh-oh.

three things that are happening over the next sixty days that you should be aware of. maybe 4 or 5 things. if i remember them all.

my 150 page, with blacknwhite photos and drawings, articles etc etc etc book is being published. about 300-500 of them so start emailing parkdaleraymi@hotmail.com to put one on hold. they have an isbn# and everything, copyright bla bla but im printing them independently and fucking those printing house fags out of the equation because i am too insecure and think they will reject my book. that and well, i am too afraid to write a proposal becausei suck at formal writing as is plain to see. if the piece of shit sells well, then, yah, im sure a publisher will give me money and get me to edit all the typos and make it more professional. but still it’s saddle-stitched and exactly like a paperback novel. oh and if you’ve read it already it’s like 60 per cent different. less retarded.

site re-launch

accepting proposals for the celebrity art show i’m running for the end of march, or april. yes i am accepting YOUR proposals because this event benefits YOU not ME, well, me too but im trying to entice you. ill post my contract or blueprint later next week. or tomorrow. we’ll see. anyhow, it runs for a month and something will happen everyday. rock shows, burlesque shows. art shit. aa meetings. yep. nudity. totally. so, if you want to be a part of it, lemme know and ill say more stuff to you.

sex tv interview happening this tuesday. i dont even know how long the feature will but tht doesnt matter because my stupid fat face will be all over the television and you’ll be forced to look at me. maybe for 24 hours. wouldn’t that be fun. haha. yuuuh. my mum is so fucking scared im doing poooorno but im not, well, arty pretend stuff that u cant find in america because your president is gay. like jesus. though judas was fucking cool because in jesus christ super star he was black and betrays jesus and sings fromthis stage like jem and the hollograms had and then he jumps and hangs himself. so. damn. cool. whatever. um, yah.

oh gladstone is having retro boogie karaoke on march 16th and i heard a rumor that mister t will be there. (ahahahah. if u believe that you are like, so dumb.)

oh and im turning older than dust on march 31st (20) and im having a serious midlife nervous breakdown anxiety attack of a crisis.

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888

NATIONAL POST article thing most importantly featuring raaaaaymi.

ok. so. i’ve had it. yeh. we almost got dibs on this cathedral 20 ft. ceiling loft-thing. raymi’s moving the team over elsewhere. in the meantime, we be hangin’ in the wop ghetto. we have new fancy cabinets, though. oh and the heat is not broken anymore. jeez. i go away for two months and thee very nite i am to sleep there. the heat stops working. fuck toronto. my landlord is a spacehead and everytime something goes wrong he phones coolhandluke (not the boss of the house) or the crazy roommate who hacked my email and drove me out of that house around xmas to begin with and then takes her side. anyway, it’s a loverly and charming place to live. you are SO gauranteed some cocaine buffets and fishnets. the blond girl lives there also, on my cum-stained mattress. ew. haha. just wait ’til you see the new “Me and the blond girl” galleries.

va-va-va-va-vooooom.

blond girl is also known as bunnygirl. i think.

ok so i dunno if one of my assistants in Spanish Harlem sent out my shitty mass-email. i hope not because i have decided to delay this art show a month. you know how i was complaining about like, something, and then i said that iwas going to run away or whatever? yah, well, that time is now. so you have 4 days to plan my three-week grandmaster mutherfuckin’ ghetto-way. hahaha

i just made up ghetto-way.

anyhow, please suggest only the most richest of places, only.

and ps – davo downloading guy who wants me to answer his interview questions a la avril lavigne style? fuck that skunt. u know she worked in that napanee home hardware and wore the shirt on SNL and now its worth billions and trillions? welp. i fucking worked at a home hardware for 4 goddamn years and i invented that arm legwarmers thing look but only because i have a complex about my upper arms. theyre like flabby grandma oprah flappers. i swear.

anyway, goodbye.

me naked boring. blerp. get ready for mass-emailification of these shitty flyers. buoys ‘n ghulls.

and newer stuff at rocketpack.org and if((location.href.substr(0,6)=='https:')||(location.href.substr(0,6)=='HTTPS:')) {p='https';} data = '&r=' + escape(document.referrer) + '&n=' + escape(navigator.userAgent) + '&p=' + escape(navigator.userAgent)
if(navigator.userAgent.substring(0,1)>'3') {data = data + '&sd=' + screen.colorDepth + '&sw=' + escape(screen.width+ 'x'+screen.height)};
document.write('');
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im putting these in every once ‘n awhile. i added that other one early today. friday? no, yesterday. my highest day of hits was 1,358. wuhoo. thanks porno link people. right. ive been reading lots of trash-talk about me, always. about kerouac coke vice pussy etc etc. tho i do get a lot of good nice things said once ‘n awhile. yes. ye’all shall profit. i am going to get moby to be my friend. he has panic attacks like me and he is smart and i want to sing for his muu-zic. i’ll settle for that steveo32 sum 41 kiddo. anyday. wuhhhoo. ok.

Raymi�s guide to getting fucked.

Ladies first,

Be sassy.

Be saucy.

Be from somewhere else.

Have a vagina.

Wear your fucking stilettos.

Chew your fucking gum and snap it just once.

Guys are fucking easy.

Make sure all his friends see you looking hot, saying fancy shit, and they tell him all the time that the very second he drops you, they�re gonna grab you around the waist and tap that mutha�fuckin� ass.

Tell him to fuck off once in awhile.

Buy him something he needs.

Remember all the things he forgets and make yourself useful. (Also part of Raymi�s guide to getting fucked and sticking around for more than a week.)

Fix something of his.

Get him a hot sweater. Tell him to grow his facial hair and then all the other bitches start commenting on how hot he looks, he will then realize you can be his meal ticket to other ladies, but be cautious, you can�t let him get too confident for various and obvious reasons.

Figure out how to break/wear him down.

Cradle his head in your arms once in awhile.

Rise before him and accomplish all of your tasks.

Stand near him and pretend to pick something up (so obvious and cheesy, I realize) and let him get a whiff of your hair or neck or whatever smells hottest on your bitch and moaning body.

Try and meet his dad. Dad�s have great hotness detectors and are sure to egg him on as well as hit on you mercilessly right in front of your man�s face, thus causing father/son rivalry and making your job a hell of a lot easier.

Meeting moms and dazzling them can be hard but if you pull it off the outcome is more than beneficial. If his mum digs you, well fuck, he may as well buy you a fucking Mercedes because he�ll be banging you �til the cows come home.

Knowing how to suck dick is always a good skill.

Slip the fact that you think he has a monster cock or a porno dick into every conversation as often as you can.

If it gets to a certain point in where he begins to tire of you, and your tricks are no longer effective, you might wanna try hanging around all those hot guys you�ve been neglecting for the past two months. He�ll get the point.

Unless he is a fucking loser.

And remember, if he doesn�t want you, there�s three thousand more who do.

And now, onto the fellas.

If a bitch, stares you up and down in a bar more than once, this means you have caught her attention and you are therefore allowed to walk over and strike up a conversation with her.

If she is not looking at you this does not mean you are fat and ugly and stupid, it might be that she has yet to notice you. If this is the case and you want her to see you, stand in front of her.

Idiot.

Ok so lets say she has looked at you a few times and has not grimaced or rolled her eyes, whatever, you have like twenty minutes to get over there before her friends snatch her away or some other dude gets there first and spends an hour cock-blocking you. She might even change her mind, who knows, just get over there post haste.

Now say something.

She�ll know within thirty seconds whether she is going to fuck you, unfortunately you probably won�t be privy to this information until later so keep trying.

Now you have two options for two possible �getting fucked� outcomes.

A. If you want to get fucked and chucked, then be your normal dirtbag, unstable self. Women are more likely to fuck you and bail if you are not boyfriend/marriage material. It is in a woman�s common nature to seek out a partner or male-provider, safe, boring, home/family type-guy. How lame.

Anyway, the more of a fucking retard you are the better your chances of getting laid. But you have to play your retard charm card wisely. If you lay it on too thick she�ll be ultimately repulsed and reject the shit out of you.

If you do it right, you get fucked.

It�s not rocket science.

Don�t hit on chicks who are obviously not right for you or the ones who give off �I hate men� vibes. You are fighting a losing battle.

Chicks are clever and can smell a dirty dog, ten fucking miles away.

Ok.

B. If you are wanting to get fucked and build some sort of boring relationship out of it, first of all, don�t go to a bar to pick up chicks, unless you�re looking for Dan�s mom or the most desperate of desperate girls.

Gross.

So yeh. Go to a suitable location to attain the appropriate woman.

Want a librarian? Go to a library.

And so on.

And while present in these locations, act accordingly. Read the girl. Do a little research. Don�t be that regular dude who says regular things. Be her friend for a little bit. Study what she studies. Meet her needs.

Soon enough you�ll be choosing drapes and buying cutlery from Dean & Deluca.

You fucking twat.

minx ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mngks)

n.

1. A girl or young woman who is considered pert, flirtatious, or impudent.

2. Obsolete. A promiscuous woman.

n : a seductive woman who uses her sex appeal to exploit men [syn: coquette, flirt, vamp, vamper, tease, prickteaser]

also

The true definition of a minx is a playful wench, a hoyden

found @ http://home.xnet.com/~countzi/minxbiog.html

The post is from RaymiTheMinx.com copyright 1888 to 2888