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i like xylophones

i am extremely protective of my friends. you fuck them, you fuck with me. i would take the word of a coke pill junky over yours, any day. you are horrible. you are mean. you are ignorant. you are leading the wrong life and your words are nothing but crap. but crap! words i’ve seen in books before, heard some smart guy once say, someone trying to sound smart before. how come you only feel good when you make someone feel not good. do you know that your friends badmouth you?

hiding behind style only gets you so far. your parents had more opportunities. spending lots of money on imported beers and compact discs is tolerable. you should respect and fully acknowledge all tariffs and postal fees. you think you’re being smart but you’re really being mean. you hate me because you hate yourself and the conservative house you live in isn’t big enough to hold your insecurities.

these pictures will make you angry if you live in toronto because you know the blond girl and you think all she does is drink and fuck and wear fishnets. you were born into wealth and easy living and you don’t know what suffering is. this girl deserves every last penny i have. she deserves your respect and all of your attention. she is diamonds and gold and she is rubies. and she is even smarter than you. you think you have everyone all figured-out.

other people enjoying themselves fucks you up. you can’t handle not being able to dance and to jump. girls who like to look pretty and shake their hair and kiss each other and also boys in public make you hide in corners, you boo them or call them trash. ever think they’re doing it for one another? notice how they aren’t ever looking at you or any of your super cool friends? do you know why? they are not doing it for looks or for nods of enthusiasm. they don’t even know where they are, it’s not important. it makes them happy and forget their loneliness and your unjustified contempt.

do you think university is your gaurantee of a better life? the right life? good wife? one day you’ll break your legs or get your teeth pulled and then you’ll have a prescription for percocet and 4 months after your wounds have healed and the pain by medical standards should dissipate you will find yourself with a prescription for percocet and then you will know what scraping bottom feels like because the fuss over these tiny pills, will be evident.

you have to learn how to not be ashamed or phased by things. you have to learn how to listen to what people are really saying to you. some make you want to scratch your eyes out but really they just want you to hold them. you have to learn how to be alone and then you have to tell me how to do it because really i have no idea.

you have to tell your girlfriend she is pretty all the time and not ever forget that she is because you can destroy someone with silent treatment.

sometimes you have to explain to your parents that what you do is for your own good and survival.

one day you will realise that thinking yourself into a sad, sad place, will not help you get out of there. you have to learn how to love and be loved in return.

yes, this is all about you.

all 1000 that come here every day all month long so if you hate me why do you keep coming back?

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