So I have this new hobby. Drinking. Yep. I�ve decided to make it the primary focus in my life for the time being. No more cheap 6 packs for me. I�m gonna do it right. I�m moving on to saketinis, gin&tonics�Canadian Clubs n� coke�.anything that looks fancy basically, goes down the hatch. None of that cheap vodka for me. We�re talkin� about high-rollin� Stolichnaya. That�s right. If it tastes like gasoline � bring it �round. That�s my motto.
And the best part about drinking is smoking. A lot. Smoking of course, causes that bullshit cancer thing, but, whatever. Worry about that when you�re older and resigned to a life of old people activities. For now, you�re going to drink until your liver turns maroon and you cough up some tar. Cause everyone knows how boring nonsmokers can be. And annoying. Fuck. You have to accommodate for nonsmokers too with their separate rooms in restaurants and hotel rooms. Why don�t you all just turn on fire and burn like a witch. We hate you.
Anyhow, I�ve decided to drink because there�s not much else for me to do in this town. That�s really the gist of it. I have all the time in the world. Why not spend it getting soused?
The second best part about drinking is eating. But, you�ve got to be careful with this. You may only eat just enough to satisfy your palate. Otherwise you have a date with Ralph. You know what I mean. Right, so eating is great. Chips, pizza, peanuts – sweet lord. And then you can all agree to cook something like noodles or steak and the whole time you�re like man, I can�t wait to put all this shit in my stomach. Damn. And then after you do you get to have another smoke.
Dude, if that�s not heaven then I don�t know what is.
