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i am so damn lazy. here, read this. if u can follow.

Karaoke Raymi

I�m so obsessed with karaoke it�s ridiculous.

You�re probably thinking I�m old, pathetic and/or unattractive. You�re wrong. I�m actually young, hot and thanks to karaoke � completely full of myself. Yes, it�s true. Karaoke�s made a monster out of me – I walk around daydreaming about it for days, practicing my songs all over the house.

Karaoke and drinking, for me, go hand-in-hand. The goal is to drink just enough to calm my jitters which benefits my performance, overall. Though, I always, always, end up having one too many wobbly pops. But hey, it�s alright. Thanks to alcohol impairing my judgment – I go home every time under the impression that yes, I am the best karaoke singer to ever walk the face of the earth.

A typical karaoke nite for raymi:

*Go to bar, find table and order booze.

*Excitedly choose 5 songs and give them to person in charge of karaoke. Ask karaoke person how long the wait is before turn.

If friends with karaoke person then ask to be bumped ahead of other people. (obviously more important that other people in the bar)

*Chain smoke and drink until turn at the mic

*Get real nervous and insecure before turn at the mic

*Name is finally called to sing

*Sing song nervously, talking to the audience in-between verses. Beginning to feel like superstar

*Walk back to table staring at the floor, grinning like an idiot. Feeling embarrassed as shit but very proud of self

*More booze, more cigarettes, more songs

*Make friends with other karaoke singers. Compliment their singing. Accept praise in return for own performance. Feel more like superstar

*End of nite, promise karaoke person(s) that will be back next week

*Stumble drunk-ass home, congratulating self the whole way.

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