i invited my weird friend over last nite for chess and beer and i whooped his ass inside out in only 7 moves. then we spied on the neighbors with a telescope on the roof. i don’t know how but later on at great lakes we all began telling stories about pissing ourselves in bed and sleepwalking. it resurfaced the memory of my first drinking experience when i was in grade 8. i slept-walked up and outta my bed about 4 in the morning, smashed everything off my dresser, pulled down my pants, jumped on my dresser ass-first and then pee’d all over it. my mum came in just as i was pulling my pants back on and asked what the fuck i thought i was doing. i was still asleep but i started telling her that i had gotten a glass of water and spilled it on the dresser. the next morning they made me clean it all up. i was grounded for a week.