went to fatboy slim. wuz gud. drank lots. smoked lots. danced lots. sweat lots. then i went home

so this dumbass of a guy walks into my store on saturday (my birthday) and goes,
“muttermuttermutter…I need pot lites. you know POT LITES!? they look like a P_O_T!”
to me and he sez this like i am a re-fucking-tard.
at the time i was trying to chew down sum chocolate and sum milk and was still on break
but this mutha’fucker is nagging AT me.
so i say,
“hmmmmmm, pot LITES, eh? hmmmm.”
and i stroke my chin and think about it cuz i know exactly whut pot lites are but i am just wondering if we have them in stock.

“yeh wELL!?” he is staring at me all impatient and i can’t get the words out to him yet BECUZ i am chewing and have that, ‘i don’t want to help you rite now becuz i am on my fucking break’ Look on my face but he is still standing there LOOKING at me and shaking his head,
“well which STYLE of pot lite do you want? do u need the case for it as well or just the POT lite itself?” i sorta mutter this out while i am walking towards johnny to ask him whut the dilio be on these gawdDamn pot lites….
SO, when the POTLITE guy sees Johnny he goes to me,
“Well, i don’t even really need a pot lite i just need the CLIPS for them.”
and then he starts following johnny down the aisle and i say in a cute and funny and charming tone,
“well now you’re changing your story ’round.”
and i go off but this asshole turns around and gets in my face (nose-to-nose, like he is gunna fucking hit me) and is all,
“whaddidyuhsay? HUH HUH!? come on. you want me to rat you out, huh uhh Are you always like this? eh? if so i’d hate to see you on a BAD day jesus kriste!?”
(In his mind he thinks i mutterd a fuck you or a go to hell you asshole)

i cannot fucking beleeve it, jesus kriste, so i sorta break down and step back a lil bit,

“Look, YOU walked in here and started in on your POT LITE charade WHILE i was chewing AND i was still on my break BUT i still went over to JOHNNY and asked for further help FOR YOU concerning your POT LITES but then you say “oh, i don’t even need a pot lite just the clips,”
and u know whut i sed?, “now you’re changing your story.” that’s IT! i did not swear at you i didn’t even say it with sarcasm like i usually do and NOW you’re in my face being verbally abusive causing a scene and it’s my GODDAMN BIRTHDAY so LEAVE ME ALONE!”

then i storm to the back of the store, grab my bag, walk rite passed this motherfucker and all the shocked customers and go out for an extended break.

ARRg. guidojuicemonekymuthafucker!