Ward had this idea that it would be great if the weatherman kood forecast the weather EXACTLY as it would be, one month from the day forecasted. I t’ol him that if it were at all possible then maybe it would already be happening. I then quipped, b’cos i’m so cleverly sarcastic, that he should start his own weather forecast
and “OH YEH!” SOoo many people would check in with Ward for that cuz it would be OH SO AccurAtE.
(Insert heavy sarcasm there).

—————–Ward’s watching ChimpanzEEs ffuk one-another on the Learning channel. First time he’s been quiet in like, EvEr.

I find that when yer
lookin’ for that
significant other,
all that conscious
effort fux it all up.
It’s when you finally
lose faith and give up
and revert to your smelly
lil looney nest, that’s
when they come bangin’
down your door.
And remember, if you’re
ever lonely,
there’s always machines.

Ward’s at his aunt’s
funeral and he sees this
lightswitch not realizing
that it works the light
overtop of the casket,
so he flicks it on and
off and on and off
again and again
like a psychotic little twit.
all his sad
and crying old
relatives are
all bug-eyed when
they see the light
flickering violently over
the casket
and they must think it’s some
sorta message from beyond
the grave or whuddever,
and they look around
frantically not
knowing what to do
or say, so they just gasp.
GASP.
I think Ward got a
talking-to for doing that
and maybe a slap on the hand.
Who knows.
The funny thing is,
Ward doesn’t make the
connection until after
the fact when it’s too late.

I remember this picture taken of me two summers ago and feeling sad that whole weekend. I was so bored and I missed my boyfriend.
Look at my slutty hair. meh. We’re not dating anymore. That was way, way back in the day.

This is so BoreeNG. i’m tired of playing Candyland by myself. I have no motivation to get up and outta the howse only becuz once out, i know i’d just be sitting elsewhere, doing nothing. heck, i might have a drink in my hand, but i’d still be bored and i’d still be annoyed and angry and snap at every little thing. My nose is cold. so are my hands. And feet.
Ahhh, suhweeet TV set. Always there for me.

Whut? These blog people think i’m not interesting enuff to make ‘blog of the week’?
Hrmmph. I’ll show ‘em. I’ll show all of ‘em.
Just wait.

I just realised that i’ve been wearing the same socks for three days in a row. They keep resurfacing in my drawer.
I’ve come to this conclusion becuz now that my shoes are off, it smells like somebody died in here weeks ago.

I’m tired, hungry, bloated and bored.

K, welp, i’m outta the howse now.
beeswax and bedhead are a bad combo. I can’t wait to pick my nose once it thaws out frum this blasted kold.
mike’s basement loox like a sweatshoppe. iz funny.
“Smells like chinese.” whut i say to him every time i walk in.
these three black guys made fun of our hats when we walked past in front of No Fr i l l s.
we’s gunna figger out how to post a guestbook here so all three people who read my blog can make intelligent insults about me.
U clever people, you.