You know what’s Raymazing?

the following is a three-part tweet story with a bonus “nothing important” tweet for good measure. #respect. (read it bottom top thanks).

Ps. my Last V-Spot. Another one is coming out tomorrow I think.

Now, the reason why this is so good is because the ad has effectively tugged on my heart strings. My “I want that” has shifted to I need that. This yearning has compounded from the child getting up and reaching, the setting location of Piccadilly Circus which is already romantic escape enough as is but I am looking to an airplane jet-setting off to Spain and thinking of drinking caipirinhas.

READ THE REST

Hope your Monday was killer.

We had an amazing awkward hotkward lunch party on Friday. Supes awks and hilarious. I’m hoarding some majorly awkward photos from that day I’ll spread around tomorrow at work can’t wait. BEST.

I work right beside that blue recycle bin to the left you can’t see it though. Hipster girl is so not a hipster irl is why it’s funny/awkward. She almost went goth. Two bros wore wigs of mine. There were some intense get-ups.

Buffets are awkward enough too, no? Yes. I had barrettes on too.

Said Courtney Love barrettes left over from said costume and barrettes borrowed from said niece who cleaned me out of a lot of my coolest items I am still discovering here and there and blowing a gasket about. My black keys shirt!>!!? COME ON SON! No. Just no.

Here I am being awkwardly amazing for my senior kindergarden birthday party. My brother and I have ten day apart b-days so we always threw joint gala affairs that were off the chizzle. Our friends all had a sibling of the same gender and age as us/each other so it was like a no-brainer. This party in particular is filmed and we watched it a lot because of everyone was dressed ridiculous for the time, like mega-fashion look out!!! was happening everywhere you looked and it was all terrible. It was basically The Wedding Singer I am pretty sure that movie was based on this party from when I was in kindergarden that is all I am just saying relax cut it out don’t have a cow man play some Michael Jackson.

I cannot get over my face here. It is epic. Perfection. I am jealous.

We agreed we were reversies Mary Kate and Ashley Olsens as each girl plays the opposite to what they are IRL in character on film or tv – edgy plays reserved and vise versa and sooo not to be insulting but obvs I’m the edgy one here not that I am bragging I would so totally much prefer being a sleeper and come in with less noise but that is not the way shit rolls so whatever.

I have wanted this purse since I was 27. That is how lazy I am. Sister bought it for me as a surprise when she left Canada I think I’ll probably bring it there it’s a great size compared to the dorky little thing bf got me.

Us in MTL. Miss my Papa so much already can’t believe it. I’m going to read at the service wish me luck. Beside him is my great grandfather, papa’s dad. J Kerouac’s Uncle. Closer relation. He was such a man, my mom’s absolute hero she adored. Oh man so many emotions. Asked my mom why we all looked like Home Improvement. Nana laughed, she got that one! Cool vest mom.

One of my dance recitals. My mom dressed me or fought to, like seriously? Thanks for that. Your personal style also lacked.

I was work clothes shopping the one day in between my papa’s passing and this night we were called late to hospital so I was a trainwreck the next day at work I think I left early it is kind of a blur. Then the next day I left early because he died that day. It has been all business and not much time to allow it to sink in, it has been a crazy week. Yesterday I was a wreck too everything hit me. I try not to stay too present in the moment because I can so make myself get emotional just like that. I love my work it takes me away and everyone is wonderful.

We had no idea at this point. Thought he might get better, he wasn’t out of the woods but it was assumed less touch and go. All these gentle hospital sayings to distract from the awful reality. I had this similar experience before too with a better outcome from another family member, the jarring-ness never changes no matter who it is you are always fleeing through the hospital in a panic. I granted myself access to entering the emerge via side nurse station. Fuck that I am not waiting death doesn’t wait. Okay I’ll stop now time for a drink.