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oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

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i am cramping up like mad right now i think i am about to blow. i can’t blame it on my iud anymore, well, there’s working out a possibility of abdominal cramps. i am wildly hypochondria-city. uhh nope it’s what i think it is. may day. the teacher is laughing at me right now “the journey has begun” oh f—–k! if you could only see my jaw grinding teeth clenches right now and the moaning and lamaz style breathing i had no idea i was in store for this. anyway here i am making a shake.

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i just made shake smoothies. and took more ass pills. ahhaha. i am losing it for sure.

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i do feel a heightened sense of sensitivity to stimuli, like i just threw a tune on that i like and i am 50% less bitchy than before, in a happier mood. stuff like that. going out to get non caffeine tea from starbucks made me happier too. the sunshine. the cheese boutique jaunt. to get an easter cake. i have to show up teacher’s mom. god i hope his parents never see my blog.

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we went to cb to get fruit. everywhere else is closed. colleague told me they were open and rammed. good insider info. one guy there asked me if i was working or shopping heh. had to turn down so many samples though, i felt bad. teacher was in a daze and also turned some cheese down and i whisper hissed BE NICER these are my people, i’m their girl, don’t you get it? it’s true, i feel watched there or just like, maybe everywhere but especially there so i try to be unassuming meanwhile wearing top gun glasses. mega-diva.

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ugh here comes a huge cramp wave.

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i discovered at the motion room today that my fat days (today) are what my skinny days used to look like. that’s pretty good no?

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i am going to be styling my sunday outfit theme after the cake i bought from cb today. you love it.

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bombshell eyes. remind me to start wearing falsies. i have a post-cleanse reward list i am building. i just made up a new term: mascary-a.

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he told me to jump around. blurry town is the outcome.

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shake baby.

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in the beginning it was low energy bitchitude. we were crashing.

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ok cramping out hardcore i have to deal with this now ha see you on the other side.

8 thoughts on “oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

  1. Would loved to have seen how that smoothie turned out. Notice that you didn’t put any milk or much juice in it. Do you have to eat it with a spoon?

    The second video, that bat faced doggy was hanging onto your every word waiting for a treat.

  2. video in the next post i am presently cramping the f up. teacher went to get me hippie food. i just had a bath and some pms tea. i blended the hell out of the shakes. not supposed to use ice, water next time. too much cold is a shock to the organs. im having vanilla rooibas tea now so lovely bought it from starbucks gorgeous little sachets in a tin box. supposed to go to yuk yuks in a couple hours we’ll see if that’s going to happen hah. i called my cleanse coach for guidance. she said boiling an onion is great if you eat onions everyday it will kill of any and all bacteria in you. rubbing olive oil on your stomach too to get your everything moving if you know what i mean.

  3. for cramps hyoscine aka scopolamine is v effective, you can buy it over the counter here (UK) but it might be prescription-only your side, the main products it’s in are buscopan and feminax

    my ex had an iud, and it hurt her quite a lot, and made her bleed (not bad, just spotting) she also said it hurt so bad going in she didn’t want it out again

    i know she did get the stupid thing out as she has a baby now but they look horrible: like a plastic razor blade. not nice!

  4. belated prezzies on the way to cheer you up and cheer you on.. you are doing awesome. Hang in there kitten.. one day at a time! You look more vibrant and radiant everyday (If thats even possible!)

  5. i LOVE the little nana blazer on you and im calling it that cause it reminds me of my nana she was super stylish and wore like, chanel blazers and jeans to sherway. suits you SO good little nana.

  6. dude i am so a nana now. i walked around clutching my bloated bowling ball stomach all night long calling out things i was doing, “oh i think i’ll have a tea”

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