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Beauty and the Minx

first off, my title is a reference to beauty and the beast. so if you want to think of that and have a chuckle in your stupid head go for it but first, take a gander at what you’re laughing at sucka!

BLAM! who gonna be my st. paddy’s date/who wants to hire that ass?

gettin’ ready for summer!

my vintage wool one piece.

forward march!

hey dewds, raymbo here calling from planet tanfastic, how’s your news? yesterday we hit up DLK on Avenue for rich lady skincare treatments. stellar!

i put a charles manson x on my face. target zone. just kidding it’s not necessary to do this. fun though.

oh yeah take note of my weird face (great on film, unique, bizarre, grotesque!)

Gah!! what the fuck is this!!!?? haha just kidding. no seriously though, what is this again? also, i don’t even know the name of the procedure i had done. (just kidding, i had microdermabrasion) k no it wasn’t a procedure it was a treatment. ok whatever i am retarded right now it’s sunday what do you guys want from me?

this is what i look like with no makeup on and partially a party statue. no well i wasn’t up that late and i didn’t abuse myself nearly as much as i could’ve on a friday night.

i also had that important audition to not look like a freakshow hag for. i dressed like a sweet girl for it. with this bra/shirt combo. understated saucy.

i, of course, was a complete mentalcase (the very best) as usual. i was in character you see.

i was disarming a little. kooky. i can be tamed don’t worry.

you never really get to see me this way eh. i look like a ninja turtle in that headband. i look rich too. april was like nice necklace so yorkville. DAMN STRAIGHT you know it.

it’s about leisure and coming up with beauty rituals chasin’ youth forever.

this would cost a nice penny for you so i am grateful that i am a walking billboard for every single thing i come into contact with everybody wins.

electroshock therapy. only a matter of time… i wish i kept that headband. where can i get some. i’ll have to go back. maybe i’ll walk around with a terry cloth one like in a constant state of getting ready for a shoot or some such girlish bullshit. playmate bait. (i can live in fantasy world too you know).

my dead skin is being vacuumed off here. there wasn’t much. she was surprised and pumped for me. i said i never wash my face and fall asleep in my makeup every night. she was shocked. she said my pores were spectacular and normal sized.

meanwhile april was having the same thing did. she has had this done before. we both wore beige shirts. mom says it’s a cosmetic tone.

ooh sassy girl. my new little muse.

so pretty.


awesome. so glitzy.

ew barf my stomach just rollercoastered.

good girl.

aftercare cream cleanser something or other felt sooo good. i giggled my face off because i am affection starved and not used to being touched aw boo. they have a lot of great products serums cleansers oh boy goldmine jackpot and they gave me the sweetest gift bag and to go bottles and pots of potions and lotions. insert squeal to make you gag by a la hillary duff. love it.

ok ok ok we get it. i have extreme add right now where are the pictures of me? omg look it’s a fuzzy dog!

these are rather, um, nice. quite intimate. is it hot in here or it just, me? why am i screeching like a going through pubes 15 year old boy?

there’s our girl. sigh.

it was my idea to open the shades. corner room oh yeah try and get hooked up with that one total vacay billowy white curtains blowing vibe in there and balcony facade off the windows. luxurious.

just go with it.

yuck. my dead skin. not much at all.


i was doing crunches. linda hamilton esq.

i got her to swab my cutaneous shoulder bullshit. i am doomed. i have burned my back. that’s total pigment loss. sad face. very hard to fix. can a plastic surgeon help me? i want the thing on my other shoulder removed too. can i recoup from the last dermatologist who fucked it all up and made it worse?

i dunno why i was jealous of april’s dazzlyness look at me i’m my own special brand of POW WHAT THE FUCK! waterfall spectacularoso.

just anotha day.

glad i wore a bra. i need more bras and matching lingerie sets. i want todo burlesque again too i’ve been practicing. elyse! lets plan something.

love these. the comics are on their gift bags HUGE. better than lululemon.


huh hhahah whats up little dude? toot toot tooottle toot toot i am cracking up.

amazing. what’s the name of my reality show? winner of best title gets to be in it or something whatever. a prize. money. no, gets to have five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact with yours truly.

i love the cosmetics department at the bay this brings me right back.

dlk pretty damn cool initials. i can’t control my fingers anymore guys.

busted at boom with waffles! samples. waffles samples. boy that’s sure fun to say.

i saved a baby here. one fell (haha “one fell”?) i caught it and everyone around me fell in love with how maternal i am. you gotta anticipate that shit. i picked him up and squeezed him and cooed mom shit in his face. it was pretty gay of me i’ll admit but it was instinctual. i lifted him up and put him in his mom’s arms and said in fake skeletor from the bowels of hell voice into his ear YOU’RE MINE NOW!

kay. this is an example of brunch bait.

that’s about all i have to say about that for now.

i had the nicoise salad sans olives. i recently learned that olives are fattening.

we were gonna go to that one place on bloor near yorkville but i said it was like a dirty boom so we went to our lover, boom. april said it would feel like cheating so true. loved sitting at the bar.

i’m a mad scientist.

i love you muffy!

heimlich maneuver demonstration. i saved a dude’s life once doing this. i did.

blahahahahaa ok bye now happy strung out sunday from one skidrat to another.

8 thoughts on “Beauty and the Minx

  1. I would love to have one of those facial treatments.

    When you had the giggle fit cause the esthetician was touching your affection starved face, it made me sad

    I use to feel that way back when Julie did my hair. It dawned on me it had become my only sense of touch. It would have killed my soul to stay that way.

  2. oh darling if you ever have to go in for ECT be SURE to wear a rainbow caftan a’la Edie Sedgwick in “Ciao Manhattan” and have someone document the whole process obsessively! ;)

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