no longer waiting for life to happen to me
it’s funny feeling like a cartoon character. to see yourself evolve the way others are wrongly interpreting it. i certainly don’t feel like i am blowing up. i just so totally have my OWN shit going on right now therefore lumping me in with others who also have their own stuff, pisses me off. i certainly personify the one man wolf pack bit, but i also definitely see the advantage of not alienating one’s self. if you act like king shit people will only remember the shit part. you aren’t above anything, don’t try for a second to come across as if you are. you don’t have the balls to come over and say hello to people you know, who wouldn’t dream of the snub-or-be-snubbed dead horse you so boringly beat. quite rich pretending to give a shit about some notorious mean woman yet spent the entire time tweeting like a hero about chicks not wearing black.
i do not give a FUCK about social media. i have friends who do. my friends are connected. i am connected. i am a name. invite me to your thing if i like it i’ll go. oh dress me? lovely sure total blogortunity i’ll capitalize on that one sure and last i checked i wasn’t allergic to fun. i scratch their back, they scratch mine.
this is so boring and doesn’t even deserve airspace. it’s a lot easier pretending to be friends cos the gossip-mongering and catty, petty, behind-the-scenes bullshit is seriously exhausting. we all float in the same-ish circles, we all cruise each other’s blogs, it’s really a downer seeing your fucking faces around town with your scowls and BB quick-draw firing, so lame. if you’re so above it why are you writing about it? why do prom dresses you weren’t included in wearing make you so irritable? oh gross look at us, so lame, having fun, drinking during the day WEARING THAT.
why can’t i go to an event then go home case closed? thanks twitter you fucking retard hahaha.
if everyone’s such a fashion renegade risk taking stud why they gotta show their true hypocritical colours like that? your lives are devoted to fashion, then “a happening” happens and you get all stuck-up about it. hilarious. you should try stand-up.
here’s another WOAH NOW! for you. i don’t even identify myself as a blogger (i consider myself an unemployed rock ‘n roller actually). i am a diarist. a compulsive documenter. i’m a lifer. this is my life, i’m showing it. what’s the big deal all the time??
they wanted a stir, they got a stir and guess who helped? YOU did. so really, thanks for helping get the job done.
ps. i felt like i blogged too much today and about nothing important but then i thought who cares, really, it’s freeing when you honest to goodness stop caring and start living for yourself. enjoying what you enjoy, enjoying it while enjoying it. it’s indulgent (the good kind) and i don’t know why everyone else isn’t doing it already. i feel like i’ve been asleep a really fucking long time and now i’m making up for it.
i am no longer waiting for life to happen to me. to be happy. whenever that happens. i make my life happen. waiting for something to go right to feel right. fuck that, it’s here and now. stop being so bitter in the face and trying so hard to achieve and get ahead. just let the cards fall where they may. if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. just do something else. this is my personal approach for “making it” right now. no approach. just showing up should be good enough.