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a beautifully self-absorbed speech

fil didn’t want to deal with the short slutty skirt of casie’s when returning the movie so i changed into these guys. what a difference!

remedy town.

buzzed shopper’s discount rack attack! this stuff gives you a body heat rush for an hour and makes you itch if you’re lacking whatever properties are contained. iron? anyway, funny trick to play on someone. the first time i had one at lucasaid‘s i felt like a fucking volcano and when you scratch your arms you get hotter and hotter i dunno why during a heatwave it seemed like a good idea. we were bored. last nite i swear i could feel my leg hairs growing! the niacin was 2.49 from 12 bucks rush high high cheap thrilllls!

i’ll let you know how useful these aren’t when i try ‘em out. the chocolate was 79 cents (no sugar added, low carb) i am addicted to deals especially deals on things i don’t need (bipolar bipolar bipolar) and when we got home caught the episode of simpsons when marge breaks her leg goes to hospital so lisa is forced to take on home duties, sends homer out food shopping and he comes back with a cellphone filled with candy, caramel syrup and some other useless shit. i said hey is that how i shop!? fil was taking a sip of beer at the time and choke laughed YES. omg i love stupid shit so much i want to be tom hanks in BIG right now!

me.

me.

me and fil.

me and myself.

oh jasmine. here she is teeny tiny last march.

convincing dudes to get in to their shorts and sit by the water is just, ugh, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS SUMMER IS GOING TO BE OVER LIKE NEXT WEEK!

turbo the ewok. actually, looks more like barf.

pure class.

do you guys want to win a 12 pack of black oak beer? trying to think of the logistics here, i don’t want to mail it so you’d have to come and see me. or you could have a tour of the black oak brewery, take some friends and get wasted for the day. plus it’s right across the street from mimico jail – scary! anyway lemme know.

dad if you get a pool i will visit every week.

oh isn’t that nice.

ding dongs.

i love gator.

powerful jet by my feet tickles the soles and it’s a contest with yourself to see how long you can withstand it and you smile like an uncomfortable goon. then your feet go numb.

thanks dad!

the card stock is thicker than my last cards, love it. i left a pile at queen video yesterday fyi. who wants a few?

caribana.

are there beer gardens set up anywhere? i can’t see the fun in standing around unless you’re in the parade. ps. next year i want to be in the parade. talkin’ full on feathers sequins gems bikini everything, how do i do this and who’s with me? can we get a blogger float sponsored?

caribana rubberneckers.

on our way down university two dudes in a car beside us (clearly in town for caribana) were holding up a bottle of grey goose and waving it out the window to their friends in the car behind them. fil looked over and gave them “the nod” (wearing top gun glasses) then they go s’up. s’up man, s’up. i waved. wanted a picture so bad. i’ve never seen fil so cool before in my life hahahaha. 50% due goes to the subaru spoiler i’m certain.

if you know of a better clear mascara (for pool/beach days) do pass it on k. this stuff is ok but, not as great as stuff i used as a teenager (mom do you remember?) that lip gloss is fantastic though.

look at this goddamn purse! click on all the photos of it. swoon.

i have so much presence i get checked out from up on high, didn’t even wave.

a very natural stance.

friday’s dinner.

boiling rotisserie chicken carcass for soup stock.

gross i know sorry.

no fat, virtually no carbs smart guy.

ya oh hi wtf

pretty easy. takes a little longer than a minute and you shouldn’t wring out the towel very much.

that organics grocery store by queen video changed ownership so everything (aside from produce, meat and dairy) is 50% off!

yeah yeah me again.

50% off tastes delicious.

this is so easy to make.

EW did you find that in the forest!?

it’s like a pupae (don’t google that, trust me)(or do it whatever i just did).

take the gross out to the next level by adding light cream cheese. SICK.

can you imagine getting hit in the face with one of these?

despite lookin’ this way they are so clean, practically no slop spills or anything and if you prep a few of them they retain their heat all wrapped up like that.

and then because the time taken prepping each one then eating one or two (eating slower) you get full, lots of leftovers.

ok this was long enough, bye frenemies!

24 thoughts on “a beautifully self-absorbed speech

  1. Ewww… how could you eat those after comparing them to pupae?!

    Also, where did you get your cards made? I’ve been hunting around trying to figure out where to get cards made for my site… staples and kinko’s don’t have enough options.

  2. the texture of those wraps always bothered me. like, wouldn’t i just chew on a condom if i wanted that?

  3. I LOVE your business card. So cute. I also love the discount (i.e crappy useless stuff) rack at Shopper’s. Do I NEED a miniature Maple Leafs facecloth, cranberry pills, and a heart-shaped bath fizzy? Why, yes i do.

  4. those rice paper burritos (chicken spring rolls?) look frickin tasty. i bet they could be lightly-fried crispy too.

  5. pupae…AAAH. I may never eat rice wrappers again. I am trying to not see mental images of butterflies emerging from their chrysalis right now. HORRIFYING.

  6. cool cards, i still have a few of the old ones you gave me last time @ the star years ago. and that food u just cooked i dont think i could eat it no matter how good is it just for the visual eye fuck i got and you mentioning they look like pupae.

    ps i ate moth maggots ones, not on purpose long story and ever since then ive had a problem with eating rice.

  7. I literally LOL’d at “imagine getting hit in the face with one of these”. Loblaws Forest Hill also has crazy clearance stuff for food and beauty stuff, I always walk away with something I didn’t need.

  8. You should have a bake sale or something, get everyone to try your delicious looking home made foods.

    I’m dealing with my bf who still wants to hang inside on a nice sunny day and thinks that going to the beach should only happen once in the summer.

  9. oh yes we’ve discovered the loblaws clearance rack too. thanks kate! i would lvoe to have a bake sale some day because of the one i participated in in grade 6. my cupcakes sold out right off the bat.

    haha pitt i heard the story.

  10. …and a million other things my computer didnt load first try
    i like this tickle trunk post
    can you please send me some adorable cards?

  11. I swear those hangover pills saved my life years ago (24th bday, I think). It might just be that my brain tricks me into thinking they work, so they do.

    Either way.

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