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i can’t remember our song

here is the story of how we met as told to lia via gchat (easier this way)

Lia: u didnt meet in oakville though, right?

me: we did

Lia: aww cute – gimme the story

me: my mom was dating this guy who lived beside fils moms house
one day she and i go for a walk and bump into fils stepdad
and im looking super hot
then fil shows up on his motorcycle, also looking super hot
we eyed each other up
i go to the local pub with fils stepdad and my mom
fil’s ex is there who is calling him nonstop to show up cos im there, she fell in love with me too
then he shows up
im still technically dating this coke dealer
but had broken up with him that day basically
he showed up with a note that i read to the entire bar cos it had tons of spelling mistakes in it
fil shows up we drink i have plans to go to toronto, but before i left i open mouth kissed him on the mouth and slipped him the tongue
didnt see him for two more weeks cos of other drama
then we went on a date to a play
we held hands

Lia: holy fuck best story EVER

me: i was constantly trying to fuck him but he wouldnt cos he was weary of my past and ex
i finally broke him down
he told me he couldnt be my bf
so it made me crazy
i said we cannot be friends then cos i want u so badly
so i started hanging around younger dudes who were crazy about me, laying jealousy traps
it worked
then we chose halloween as our anniversary
all the crazy courting hanging out took place over a summer
it was tough work man

Phil: cool story hansel

me: do u have anything to add to it
like what were you doing at yer apt while we waited for you at the pub
were you pacing like ross
staring at the pub out of your window?

Phil: hahaha no

me: yeah right
were u practicing your moves

Phil: but i think afterward i read half of your archives

me: HA
what else
then you were like what a slut this is so ON

Phil: haha totally

me: you thought we were gonna do it that nite and then i fucked off to toronto BURN

Phil: oh and when i met you i thought you had an accent

me: no that was slurring

Phil: no no i didnt think we were going to do anything

me: wtf did u think that
u told me u thought u were gonna get some that nite

Phil: oh i dunno
i was dazed

me: dazed?

Phil: also, change the wording of your story
i didnt want to have sex because you still had a bf

me: im adding this to the bottom of the post

Phil: you hadn’t broken up

me: well yeah that day i had told him it was over which is why he wrote me a stupid letter

Phil: even still you guys were still a couple
remember you two came over
then he fucked off

me: technically that day, until i told him it was over, then it was just a weaning him off of me process

Phil: you were still a couple then
yes well i am a dude of honour

me: no we weren’t i was letting him think it was so
whatever anyway

Phil: and if you are not broken up officially then…

me: nothing else to add?
other than this boring technicality shit, that asshole didn’t deserve any honour whatsoever
he had a gf on the side for the majority of our relationship
fuck him

Phil: no, i don’t care about him… i care about me, and my obviously impossible standards of honour

me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ok final chance to add something romantic to that afternoon

Phil: seriously though i thought you had an accent
i met up with matt later (before the pub) and told him i met a super hot chick with an accent
i thought maybe you were an exchange student
at first

and then when we hung out later on and i didnt have an accent did you say something to me about it

Phil: dont think so

me: i swear i was not faking an accent, ive learned my lesson about that

this is the skirt i was wearing when i met fil

and i think i was wearing this tank with it

or might have been this black one

and here we are on one of our first dates at santa cruz

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