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salty meats!

answer to that stupid cat desk box the universe continues to email me daily ;) ps. fil found it before all of you did.

and if you get cold we gotchoo covered.

whether you like it or not.

alrightskies, onward to totally mad cookin’ skills hour of power with rayms! i call this batch of awesome: FINALLY DIDN’T LOOK LIKE BARF!

first throw in your peppers, or celery, as i fucked up, celery takes longer than peppers to do their thing as in, become the opposite of raw and hard, those lil fuckers. i like ‘em cos they’re a nothing veg that fills you up, am i right anorexics? douse this shit in oil.

take another picture of it, enjoy the smell of cooking celery, nice innit?

then as it browns some and cooks more chop up garlic, stir periodically while spying on fil and simultaneously jam out to whatever tunes you have on your pod.

throw in garlic (2 cloves) turn down heat a bit so you don’t burn it, some ass will always tell you don’t put the garlic in too soon cos you’ll burn it and you’ll be forced to tell them to eat your penis, then you go and burn the garlic anyway, whatevs dude there’s always more garlic where that came from nahmean. throw some torn up basil leaves in there for good measure. stir it all around like you just don’t care wow this is getting gay eh? add more garlic if you want, i did. you’re going to be waiting for the celery to cook awhile.

throw in egg whites, i used half a carton, the big guy, 500ml let it settle before you touch it, i mean, you don’t have to, but why not avoid hovering and besides this is the part where you should be prepping your tomato anyway, cut up four big slices, salt and pepper them and jam them in the microwave for a minute, then you can start stirring this all around, fold it over with a spatula a few times. if you don’t know how to make scrambled eggs you are a RETARD stop reading my blog.

this is where we get fancy, plate it, throw some gobs of goat cheese where you plan to top it off with your tomato, oh yeah, flip your microwave tomato over and put it back in the microwave for 30 seconds, if the little slices are already looking cooked enough and soggy, don’t bother.

if you wanted you could put some more basil between the goat cheese and tomato, i didn’t, don’t be a goat cheese hog it will overpower the rest of this deliciousness.

carry this out to fil then comment aloud from the couch numerous times how fantastic this concoct. is, shovel it down.

skeptically ask fil if he really means it that it is really good tasting or if he is just pretending. the fanciness mile you went by topping it off with goat cheese and tomato will distract him from realizing you didn’t bother cooking the peameal to go alone with.

when you’re finished, tell him to get you a tallboy. spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying the smell of garlic on your fingertips in your underwear and 80s cat tank top then take a 20 minute power nap with cid and have a bath then write this blog post.

this is my ass.

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