i fought with a french dude on christmas eve, it’s a pretty good story, i’ll share it later. i’ve kind of been out of my mind since dec. 1 another not so good story i’ll share later. basically, i’m not pregnant, i did a test two nites ago cos i was nauseous for the twentieth time this month and shot up out of bed and said that’s fucking IT i want to know NOW (bought a test a week ago but it was too early to use it) so no i’m not knocked-up, there is something else wrong with me (yay!) and i have narrowed it down to my right kidney, based on how today goes, not banking on it to be too amazing, i’m going to be partying in a hospital waiting room tomorrow. we walked to winners yesterday and i was panting and out of breath and sore, maybe i have a bruised rib on top of that? dunno, but it is nearly impossible to bend over to lotion my legs or tie up shoes i have to time it to when i am exhaling and lean over slowly. i took a tylenol 2 last nite and laid on the couch. mom don’t tell dad about this and alarm him for fuck sake thank you. my kidney area has been sore for two weeks now. so all these things combined, thinking i’m pregnant essentially all month long (thanks for putting that in my head fil) xmas, and everything i have been a fucking basketcase, and of course when you get a notion like pregnancy everywhere you look and hear is something about babies holy fucking overload. when we were in indigo i was this close to having a full-on panic attack/fainting spell and was searching frantically for one of their stupid chairs to sit in but they had all been removed, nice.