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here is one of my new shoes. at least it looks like it came out of the garbage and i paid ten dollars for it, the other one was also ten dollars – at least i didn’t pay 80 dollars for stupid gay vans that the entire universe is wearing right now and then they have to go out and buy more cos their first pair got dirty. newsflash YOU ARE NOT SPICOLI.

while on the subject of footwear, if you own a pair of those rubber clog gardening shoes and wear them for fashion i will take a dump in your mouth when you are sleeping. i don’t fucking care how comfortable they might be you are not allowed to wear them unless you are the town idiot drunk and found your pair at goodwill or you are pruning roses in the backyard and you have clippers in your hand i swear to fuck if i see you in yorkville jaywalking in those retard potato shoes i will get a bow and arrow and puncture your tires.

also if i see your children wearing them in funky colors they will be kidnapped.

and who the fuck started this trend anyway??!!?! seriously when i was 17 i got a pair of fluorescent red felt/corked clogs in england and brought them home thinking how neat they were and my mom specifically wore them to take the garbage out. point taken. also little bugs lived in them too.

it’s like, sometimes, i think, people want me to hate them. i even saw this gothy punk girl wearing a fluorescent green pair with black stars on them, you know shit’s out of hand when various styles and colors come available.

is it a canada thing? an ontario thing? has this heinous trend hit the west coast yet?

i could seriously write a book about how fucked up this fashion is, how is it even practical? i swear you are only allowed to wear them if you are a batshit crazy lady in a culty women’s group and you talk about goat cheese and how wonderful dogs are and your hair is scraggily grey. or you are from whereeverthefuck clogs were invented pretty much the same place where harps and yellow hair came from.

look at this!!!!! these are listed under gardening clogs but they are also known as GO EVERYWHERE CLOGS – i know where you can go! HELL! and take your stupid gay ugly shoes with you. my blood pressure is rising and my eyes are all beady and i can’t blink i am so crazy obsessed on this topic right now. i mean they have to invent a category/description for these clogs to justify jerks wearing them in public.

ok i’ll stop.

One thought on “

  1. YES those garden shoes are rad-dick-cul-us!!! they reminfd me of those jelly shoes that were so “fashionable”in the 80’s.
    I have a pair of those “holey soles” that I got for FREE to wear in the GARDEN! Some of my friends wear them as a fashion statement…that statement is “I give up” (kinda like when George Castanza from Seinfeld wears track pants everywhere).

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