i’m sorry for being a crab. every year my birthday always ends up gay except for the party i had when i was in senior kindergarden THAT WAS AWESOME! there’s even footage of it one day i will dvd that shit. anyway i read more of my fantasy book in the bath and felt pretty sorry for myself ok no i didn’t well maybe a little. then i went windex mental in the bathroom.

last nite i convinced pitt to come out for karaoke and whiskey it was pretty retarded. i sang so whatcha want for the millionth time cos one guy who works there LOVES it when i do and there were 40 spanish minors there sitting in the front not understanding one fucking word i was screaming into the mic and giving my dance moves cut-eye.

then i ate two spicy beef patties and had hiccups for half an hour and pitt talked to these security rent-a-cops more like loud drunkenly screamed greetings at them from across the street. oh he also gave some random guy the twenty bucks fil and then i had to force on him for drinks and told the guy to get us a round and keep the change. ungh.

elizabeth’s tits….and cid.

i am sad and emotional like different sad and emotional today from the regular sad and emotional that i always am cos all of my friends and boyfriend are not helping me decide where to have my party i am receiving ZERO emails about it and why the hell should i go to all this trouble alone to plan my birthday FOR THEM TO HAVE FUN if you are my friend and you are reading this YES I MEAN YOU ARE THE ONE NOT HELPING ME.

i can’t believe you are not even planning me a surprise party either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so this is pretty much what is going to happen on my birthday i am going to go somewhere intimate with fil and cry and talk about how all of my friends are assholes every single one!

the only thing that needs to be decided is where to have it and no one is stepping up to the plate NO ONE and i do not want to be the one to make this decision, i decided on the last two blog parties i made the fone calls I ME MEM ME ME it’s my birthday and i don’t want to fucking do it!

we rented DE – casted jennifer aniston cos brad dumped her and wanted to capitalize on her current popularity despite her being the worst fucking movie actress ever – RAILED last nite.

so here we go.

clive owen magically regains his british accent less than halfway through the film. he doesn’t fight back not even once to the french villain guy despite being ten bajillion times bigger and stronger-looking – HELLO KING ARTHUR?!

his daughter has diabetes you learn immediately in the film making you think oh ok she is going to be a hostage and desperately need insulin but no nothing bad happens to her not once WHAT THE FUCK!?

the wife doesn’t question clive owen’s sneaky late nite all of a sudden hittin’ the booze coming home super late behaviour NOT FUCKING ONCE!

exhibit is a fucking douche waste of space of an actor, he plays the sidekick of the french bad guy.

they introduce this detective guy more than 3/4 the way through the film YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT ASSHOLES and also he pretty much gets the last line in the movie and it was I GUESS THE LAW DIDN’T CARE MUCH FOR WINSTON something like that FUCK YOU!

the dialogue was a piece of shit the acting was terrible but still i enjoyed it all! thank you champagne!

ok my birthday is ON for this friday MARCH 31, my grandma is doing BETTER.

i will let you know the where and when soon and you are all invited but if you don’t get me a present or money then don’t come.

my vagina on drunkenstepfather

last nite i saw on tv this surgeon trying to stitch up a bunch of cuts and bleeding wounds on this guy who was on PCP and halfway through the guy sits up screaming, undoing all of the surgeon’s work and so they have to start all over again and he gets up AGAIN and so the surgeon decided to sew his ears down to the bed with the stuff they use in the morgue and it worked but i was thinking doii if he sits up now he’s totally going to rip his own ears off. but he didn’t and it was a success. the end.

i woke up late and coughed up some blood a very small amount and my voice was gone. it looks so fucking nice out there and i haven’t stepped outside i am that sick. i wonder if laryngitis is going around that would be pretty nice cos then i could be all oh ok i have laryngitis and get on with it.

grown kids were playing in the park on their lunch break and it was strange cos right after all the little tots came for their recess like a hundred of them in t-shirts and little sweaters no jackets and i looked down at my body and decided i am not ready for wearing less clothes.

i really would like to ride my longboard but i am afraid i will get more sick.