Guten tag Canada. For realsies. I’ve been awake since 7.30am and we’ve been swimming, to my foot doctor, to “solarium” (tanning) and had a LOT of caffeine today. We are both hyper spazzes and when we don’t drink it’s like, giddy-uppa! He went and got me a new desk chair and free weights too. Oh wait before I continue..

Thanks. Maybe I shouldn’t have done all those tricep extensions before writing just now ow zzz. Plus I swam like a motherf*er today too.

Cliche Euro girl alone in room photo.

We didn’t take any photos of our walk yesterday because we are exhausticated by the camera and wanted us time. Actually no one wanted to carry it, so I called his bluff. The walk went ten times faster without documenting every fucking leaf along the way plus I was wearing flip flops and it’s all sand. I walk like a gimp. Like a pregnant bitch. Especially in sand. Halfway through I gave up on limping and forced my foot to walk in the direction of forward and I could do it but it hurts. Doctor today said it was improving but I had to stick my face down my shirt to cover my crying from the pain it endures when he manipulates my ligament.

Some of the rest of my outfit. It was so hot out yesterday. We went for another walk later on and fed the ducks and thousands of carp and the ducks scared me. There’s an aggressive fat female who walks up to us on the bridge honking and bullies the men off, I have duck phobia. It’s a perfectly logical fear to have of being pecked. Maybe we will make her in to peking duck if she blows it next time.

Bf was making a stupes face so I cropped him out because I think I look pretty for once. Except where is my reflection in the mirror!? OOOOOH Vampire.

Alright now here is where the show begins. We drove to Germany to perhaps climb to the castle and have a beer beside it but then spied a Medieval fair afoot. What’s that? WE ARE GOING TO THAT.

Ignore all the normies and just stare at the freaks. Best. We drank up in that tree house under the two top blue tent points. Looks pretty rinky dink from here come to think of it. A sign I couldn’t understand in German said climb at own risk but what is life without adventure? Actually wait that was my bf’s ad lib I’m like the lady at the flower shop writing verbatim phone messages on flower note cards or the engrish cake decorator.

Oh yeah we are so going in. This guy tried to haggle fuck with us at the end and I was like that’s really great and all if he messed with me in English, joke’s on them ahah. Happened at every tent pretty much. Plus we watch Scam City religiously so we know all the gypsy-swindling tricks.

Sunday Funday in Germany :).

I was pretty excited. Dis gun be good. I’m a total freak secret nerd too. I mean genius.

Zero successful spells cast this day. So many wizards. Tons of goths. Larpers ran the whole show.

Hey whatcha looking at?

Obvi.

They were speaking Elvish. Just kidding, German. Same thing. Just kidding. But no, even in English I’d be like what are these geeks all fucking talking about seriously hello??

I better get some axe throwing skills (I have friends who do it) just in case and maybe some crystals too and gummi bear juice balahaha omg I can tell this is going to take forever getting through this.

My first honeymoon weekend here we drank on the other side of that on a patio, it was so fun.

Sweet outfit Lauren.

Not hungry.

Beer. Yes.

Proper set-up here.

Authentical.

Bad ass player. Bf hasn’t seen role models yet. I quoted it a million times. It’s going to be so much funnier now. That’s it if I send him the trailer he’ll d/l it instantly.

Love him (king guy from the hangover) I kept asking where the king was (to no one) and lets go find him. We didn’t.

You betcha we saw larping (the battle) before we left then it was like ALRIGHT THAT’S ENOUGH.

Haha Fogel. Omg he hasn’t seen Superbad either. Am I the only person who doesn’t have a life around here? Back to Rayme Times now.

Parent time out place. The fighting happened behind them. Someone’s face was eye level with my crotch the entire time I took pictures of it. I get a little nervous in public here because I don’t understand anything I hear and people kind of talk loud sometimes to include you and you’re like is this a test? I don’t know any of their fucking answers. These moments happen when my bf takes off to buy beer or run up a building lol I dunno. I basically get a lot of social experimental opportunities. I think the neighbours think I am a snob though because I stonewall them because it’s exhausting waiting for eye contact, to be polite, then we wave, oh, is this the wave part? Like a passing boat on a lake. Stranger encounters, faux pas, rules of etiquette where there are none. The deep person’s travel doctrine.

Lets play eye spy.

I spy summer goths. I am one to talk because I wear black in the sun too and I know it is idiotic. I am just sad I didn’t wear my grunge crucifix this day and I was so close.

Some guys were holding these like they had beer inside. Ew gross/jealous.

Dreeeeeeeeamy. Beer in a wine bottle, how swoon.

Proost!

My stomach is rumbling.

I did not have the attention span for that. I have videos though maybe I will have attention for those.

I went to a Medieval fair when I was in England, it was at Warwick Castle. I think I only repeated that 10 times. But it did feel great to be here by a real castle in the sun with all the goofy shit to look at. I mean historical period things. I love the past and people who think they’re pirates and weirdos in general. There’s good finds to be had too but I’m scrimpy AND saving my load for an H&M spree or a top shop something like that, something like f21. Something in Amsterdam I’m sure. It’s really hard to ignore the inner hippie at these things but luckily there are a lot of one of a kind don’ts. Like a skirt that you velcro over your pants because you don’t shave your armpits anymore I think?

We sat on this bench and heard 400 people say the exact same thing about this, but in German, Dutch, Russian and so on. Ooh, left out in the sun too long. I got him to cross its skeleton leg over the knee later on faaaaaaaaabulous.

That’s my flag, well one of them. Big-ups WALES. I bet they won the battle.

These guys watched us while we drank our beer and we watched them back. The bench was positioned kind of oddly on this hill and we took it. Best people watching tanning perch.

Lots to see.

Look at those sweet crosses. Bet they’re real. Yes at one point I did in fact quote William Wallace.

Yo chill Transylvania. I wonder how much trouble I am in once he reads all these blog posts he needs to catch up on ahaha.

Some lovely hats.

Ancient wall. I give it 1661. I just Wiki’d the town.

This is getting weird now.

My sweet stamp. Almost as shite as my tattoo.

Now I’m thirsty.

Nice cape. Okay I’ll continue my Raymedieval Review after my shower. I have a Skype appointment and I just Something about Mary’d my bangs with hair glue he got from the stupid haircut he received this morning. Have a tubular Tuesday.