I wore knit on knit and could not tell or feel if my skirt had ridden completely up there are you happy? The title of this post is something the girls said to me about themselves, they had an epiphany that they were the bad girls after all. Oh really? Well I guess so but it’s not a bad thing. We are revolutionaries and I don’t want this to turn in to a Cathy comic about eating chocolate and man bashing so I’ll just cut that bit short, I thought it was a funny blog title is all. We live in a sexist world the end. ps. not getting roots done til next week so enjoy the messy Celina Kyle nest.

The dramedies my mom tells Lois end up steering the car and so, bad driving. Stop winding her up mom I will get super angry if you guys get in an accident. If you need to tell her about some bitch, pull over, because then that bitch will have double-burned you by getting you so worked up you get T-Boned. And Lois, no excuses, pay attention to the road not to Tracey (who thinks she IS On the Road ha!) you are both in skitchen.

I said I am like a drag version of my dad and mom goes yes you are. Fuck off mom! I have to get lipstick tattooed on to my lips then. Weight loss shows face lines and now that I smile to make you guys think I am a game show host and to mask shyness, my face is hanging on to them. Go back to no smiling then? The morning after I bragged about having no crow’s feet (I don’t) both of my under eyes got a big crease that hasn’t fucking disappeared yet. See you soon Demi Moore! Kidding!

When Fairy Godmother Lois and Tray Tray the Cray Cray come to town, they spend the day power shopping at the eaton center and then buy us all something matching (this time it’s RL jackets, like my initials too Raymi Lauren/Ralph Lauren ok whatever yourself too). They buy whatever the hot ticket fad or trend is, it is usually severely reduced in price and they take pictures of every single thing that happens to them along their adventure quest including salespeople who all have totally blown away facial expressions. The girls are an impacting super social sweetheart tag team, then me the manic shows up and it turns into a rager. They are hyper-active empty nesters who just like fun and are great to be around and a most welcome monthly activity your hero partakes in.

I bet you made their afternoon. They also do promoting for me too. Loves it. We can bring loves it back now that Paris Hilton is also a grandma fogey party girl and doing more real estate, smart. What will I do? What won’t I?

Typical Bronte! Hilarious.

I’ve never been inside Brassaii before. Teach and I ate outside over the summer and had a great time back when we didn’t fight in public at all my favourite restaurants ahaha.

Gorge. I was quite excited to check the inside of this legendary King street haunt.

Typical mom.

I don’t understand how you get away with all these and how security just ignores you guys haha. Go take pics in the bay’s bathroom on one of the higher levels, its very old and gothic, back in simpson’s days? Might be in sears go try both department stores, in the couch/bed area, lord knows you have the time for it ;). Buy me something too.

These floor display people are getting awful lazy.

Inside Brassaii it is so cozy and sumptuous and stylish I don’t care about the douchey rumours, that’s only cos it’s a rich people place and there is a lot of posturing and try hardery in effect (which is amazing for people watching) but I AM a douchebag who also enjoys good old fashioned decadent taste so the verdict is: I will be going back. Good pick up place too I hear and nice patio in the summer which is all I live for now. Partio. Viplease me.

This mural by the bathroom is very wicked. The artist is familiar, I think I know it.

An elevator shaft, working still?

Lois and her classic JD and Coke. She is so Slash and I can’t even read that without lispthing in my head it is getting worse, once my stupid mom pointed it out. I like staple drink people. Also it gives her a kick and she is an adorabz happy drunk. She laughs at all my jokes and dances a happy dance heheheh aw love you Lois! I am talking to your drink haha sorry. I am hungover today from partying with you two ding dongs :).

I love this.

And this!

There is always my portion left of their meal when I arrive that I speed stuff in to my face while catching them up to date on all things Crazy the Minx. Then Lois tells me the in between the lines things she notices from my blog posts and then my mom says all the near accidents they almost had on the way in to town. Mom and I have a glass of prosecco and then hit the top ten gossip scandal rounds list, and we are all talking at the same time, cutting each other off and up laughing hysterically taking pictures and showing off our new things and compliment each other’s everything. Super gay I love cougar night! Is it weird I hang out with my mom? Only a bitch would say yes to that and we have our own thing, look out for each other and it helps my work because she takes all the pictures. I also tell her what she needs to do about blogging and tweeting and obviously she doesn’t listen. We are working on it. Ugh.

Seriously how cutetarded are they for this and for buying them all. Being a god daughter was the best decision I ever made! That and blogging.

See how the pictures get better when I show up?

I enjoyed the wrapped lemon so it doesn’t spray everywhere, so darling. Too bad I clashed with the ribbon with my nail polish, I am out of remover. It’s chipped. Girls with ugly hands should not post hand pictures and girls with pretty hands should never have chipped polish. Chipped polish helps me grow my nails though but only for so long. I just don’t bite them or pick at them (as much) when chipped, like a sinking ship, just bail on it.

The most delish pasta what was it again rigatoni? I want to go to Emmas with you guys on Sunday we might come out okay? Then Hot tub party at Cray Cray’s place? Mom do you like your new name? I do! VERY MUCH SO!

Frites. one of the cheapest things on the menu and are delish. I only say delish out of laziness not of coolness.

Mom loves freaks. This was another instance in which I slammed a nickel as hard as I could into the pot like a golden nugget. All my toonies and loonies get buried between purse folds and other useless junk in there and takes a long time to fish out.

SO WARM. Love it. Get used to looking at it.

In the events area of Brasaii. We scored an Umbra jacket, mom kept it. Yes I am media too for sure with no hint of sarcasm everything that comes out of my mouth is the news. My last card was the golden ticket of proof. HINT COLLEAGUE HINT STRANGLE YOU EXPLOSION.

Yeah yeah sure sure. Make it quick though. I screwed up that side of my face/bronzer, so whorey awww haha. I got a good picture of this light/sign on my phone. It’s my new wallpaper.

Don’t have installations if you don’t expect wiseguys to mess around with them. I was being stifled by the notables in the party area and my mom being a maniac so I bailed out of there quickly. She made the jacket happen, well closed the deal. I just wanted drink tickets.

Ok maybe we lifted our chins a little too high. Posture like a teapot, bum out and eyes up like the spout. Maybe a few degrees lower next time.

Team Canada will be wearing these for the next four years and they are to commemorate the 100 year anniversary of Soccer in our nation. I wanted one in small. By Umbra. More like Um I want that back Bra!

Looked dumpy sticking out of my jacket.

Never fear, just around the corner is here! Hi Susan!

Mom and Lois LOVED IT HERE! Knew they would.

We should have had dinner here too eh.

Guinness ice cream oh no.

Love the drink list.

The competitive sides came out for real. We were lethal, assaulting, and hilarious. Meanwhile pro players look on in confusion.

The black lighting is the best.

Cray Cray and her see-through shirts.

Lois and I “play nice” we lob it up gently back and forth and try to rally instead of destroy each other like Cray and I do. The guy beside me was totally at the opening party I recognize him, a few others too.

My hair even shone under the black light, next time I willl dress like Gandalf the white.

In the words of the Golden Girls THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!