caption this.
ok so here is what i think about the life aquatic with steve zissou
top five words to describe the life aquatic with steve zissou
endearing
bittersweet
funny
jeff goldblum is awesome
i like the part where bill murray flicks that little lizard off his hand when he is trying to convince his wife to give him money
you can basically call this the royal tenenbaums sequel except they are on a boat and sometimes on a tiny island and some of the characters from the royal tenenbaums aren’t even in the life aquatic film which is confusing a little bit but then you are like oh ya this isn’t actually the sequel to the royal tenenbaums.
phew.
wes anderson is the genius behind both films. duh dur duuuuuuuuuuuuuh. so all those cute little attention to detail things you expect to see and then you see them and you are like wow that was cute.
maybe i wasn’t fully paying attention because i was so pissed off at the slowness of our food arriving at east side mario’s before the movie, who knows, but i didn’t notice that cool song that’s in the previews at all.
what. the. fuck.
you know the song where they are all walking slow-motion down the stairs together and everybody is happy and it is very dramatic and beautiful and makes you want to drop everything and go to wherever the hell they are and be walking down the stairs alongside them and have a little kid on top of your shoulders because you are a big showboat?
anyway, the trailer for the life aquatic (as do/does all trailers) crammed in every single clever moment that it could so when you are watching it finally you are like OH THAT’S FROM THE PREVIEWS I REMEMBER THAT PART YES!
regardless it is definitely worth seeing and the only reason people are shit-talking it is because they are ordinary, uncreative, high-standard snobs who are just jealous ‘cos they are not wes anderson and they haven’t put together a blockbuster themselves and so what if he totally ripped-off his previous films, the shit works.
like why don’t you go to the lake and tell it to fuck off while you’re at it.
ahem.
you come away from the life aquatic wanting to go on some big adventure and you realise that everyone with money is an asshole and you hate them and also you roll your eyes imagining next year’s halloween costumes all being skinny boring hipster kids wearing those red toques and cute sweaters with the letter ‘z’ and being pre-angry and annoyed that you can’t make that your costume because everybody is gonna be doing it so instead you’re gonna dress like napoleon dynamite like everybody else ‘cos at least that will be funny.
don’t you hate people who dress sexy on halloween but if you don’t do it then you walk around feeling unsexy and fat and your whole nite just sucks.
what else.
oh and if you are on your period you might cry at the part where they have to leave the three-legged dog with those pirate thieves because everybody wants a three-legged dog because they’re missing a leg but can still run faster than you and people are always amazed and impressed by them and then you can get away with being a giant bore of a person.
the life aquatic might make you feel a little bit lonely but also will make you appreciate your everyday circle of friends and you might wear matching clothes to show everybody else who is not a part of your circle that you and the circle have a great big bond of love.
oh wait people already do that because of the GAP.
right.
and as a sidenote
i think my next job is going to be cart-collector at your local supermarket because then i can wear a big stupid winter jacket all the time even in summer if i want to and i can disappear for hours on end and then my boss will yell at me a lot because some woman will complain to him about neutrogena being way too expensive and i’ll be like dooooooood shave your moustache.
the life aquatic makes you want to be simple and also helps you appreciate/respect simple but you are still jealous of jeff goldblum because he is rich but because he is zany and has scientific high maintenance type one-liners and is part gay you are all allowed to like him.
the end.
December 31, 2004
i am not allowed to listen to the yeah yeah yeahs anymore
or modest mouse
or muse
because they are all on my laptop kuz fil got a hipster ipod and so he put itunes on it and so i go thru the shit and listen to the same 4 songs over and over although there’s a bunch of other interesting stuff to be listening to i just ignore it and listen to crap i already know because i am set in my ways and all other music i think sounds like it is from an elevator even though it really doesn’t i just like to think that it is
i wouldn’t even know anything about muse or feist or whatever if it wasn’t for people like fil who are passionate about music
the only thing i am truely passionate about is writing and looking down at the sidewalk when i am walking by myself because sometimes i am painfully shy it’s weird and i get nervous that someone might actually make eye contact with me and then i’ll have to smile at them when i am not prepared to
ok enough emo
it s very windy out today/tonite
i almost blew right over
and then the whole time walking to the bank then back to the variety store i was worried about that happening so i walked extra carefully all hyper-aware of my walking and feeling guilty for throwing my cigarette butt in the gutter instead of butting it out on the sidewalk and depositing it in the trash like i normally do and i felt like formally apologizing to the town or maybe calling up the mayor and explaining that i only did it because of the wind and then justifying it by saying that it was gonna be washed away into the sewer anyhow and then it wouldn’t be there eventually therefore no one would have to look at it
but then i remembered that the sewer water ends up in the lake eventually and i felt even worse but by then i was at the variety store and i hadn’t been blown over by the wind afterall
so that was good at least
but the new thing to be worrying over is the 12 feet of gutter that is hanging in the alley off the building of fil’s apt. ‘cos of the snow and ice that was all heavy innit and there are nails and shit stuck in it so i envision myself later tonite/morning being hit in the face by it
from the wind
what do you guys worry about?
dear raymi
i wish i could be all rebellious and shit and be all fuck nye. i get
drunk because i want to and not because the calendar says so. im just
not pretentious enough to be one of those kids who shuns social
devices. maybe that will be my new years resolution. fuck that. my new
years resolution is to find someone who gets me without me having to
explain it to them.
jeff
with my luck tonite my liver will implode
people need other people
we need to be social because we are afraid
and the only way we can avoid being afraid is by being social
so we put all energies into that
u either have a life or u have a career and u are lucky if u can swing
both and keep all yer friends at the same time
2005 yo
from raymi
we’ve been renting a lot of shitty movies lately and it’s not like we planned for them to be shitty on purpose. it just turned out that way. maybe it’s because we’re loaded the whole way through and extra critical and catty. derno.
last nite for example, it was the league of extraordinary gentlemen, and it took me maybe ten minutes to realise that it was suppose to be one of those far-fetched comic book style type films because one guy was all invisible and stuff.
i found myself almost asking if dracula was actually real then i almost asked if that whole dr. jeckyl crap actually happened but i didn’t and i was proud of myself for that. sometimes i am just not at all smart and it’s only because my brain works super fast and so common sense is neglected once in awhile.
i’m hoping to get some of that back after new year’s when i sober up my shit.
ok so back to the crappy movie thing.
watching the special features made me feel bad for sean connery because he says oh i was offered the matrix script and i didn’t understand it so i turned it down.
and then he says he was offered the lord of the rings script and he turned that down also because he didn’t get it, as in the whole far-fetchery aspect.
!!!!!!
and so since both those films made a ton of sweet mula once the doorknob who scripted the league of extraordinary gentlemen approached him sean connery was all yaaaaaaaa this is gonna be a blockbuster because all this crazy stuff that i don’t understand happens in it so it must be like lord of the rings.
wrong.
my professional movie watching opinion for this movie is that it was a magical piece of masturbatory comic book gay o thon waste of money and maybe if they didn’t rely on sean connery’s star status to carry the thing they may have cleaned up a little better at the box office. any movie where i roll my eyes at least 5 times during tells me that it is crap.
i rolled my eyes at least 20 times.
the thing is suppose to take place during 1899 but there are all these 1920s inspired costumes and even a tank and a fucking car. come on!
and i didn’t see one boob or penis or bare ass!
and the invisible guy is just too clever and funny.
nobody has the capacity to be such a smart ass in 1899. sarcasm wasn’t even invented yet!
we also rented anchorman.
after seeing will ferrell’s performance in Elf i was expecting to laugh every 20 seconds so hard that snot would be shooting out of my nose and ears with saliva everywhere but i wasn’t.
it’s ‘cos they were focusing on the whole women as anchorwomen equal rights crap which is fine and all, bla bla we get it, we know, but i don’t want to be learning a lesson in a will ferrell movie when i am drinking and it’s “the holidays”. still there are funny one-liners and such but i can’t remember any of them, not a one.
the only thing that sticks out is that one guy who screams when he talks and doesn’t understand what is going on. that’s pretty funny.
after watching napoleon dynamite, every other attempt at humour is like, don’t even bother.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuungh.
December 30, 2004
>From: “James” < james@sidewalkvagina.com >
>To: “Raymi Lauren”
>Subject: RE: green
>Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 16:46:20 -0500
>
>I said I was “avidly reading adbusters” again.
>
>It took him 3-4 days, I believe.
>
>-James
>
>ps. it’s cool you posted thing to blog, though you didn’t ask
i am above the law. everybody knows that.
ok so comments are back now though keep in mind i didn’t put them up to fight with anybody so if someone is wanting to stir the pot with me don’t bother because i will not acknowledge anything negative or stupid i will simply delete it and that is that. if you are going to be disagreeing with something i say that is fine, but be sure to at least leave a real email address and your own website address so we can attack you in your comments because then that would be fair, right? right. comments are for a community vibe and boredom and to share ideas and so on so please don’t screw it up this time around. thank you.
