Valentine’s Day Desperation begins to kick in around New Years had it not begun already around Christmas, or September. I always said that it’s just like Christmas or Birthdays in terms of gift giving expectations, except I take it ten times more seriously. Honestly GTFO if you don’t get V Day right! Here’s the part where I tell you how. Familiarize yourself with the D’s – Do’s, Don’ts, disasters, dates, & dicks and dipping-out. READ IT BEYOTCH!!!!
So it’s escapist lofty dreamer blog post time instead! I feel like screaming! A lot of the time on the internet makes things wicked more impactful-sounding and henceforth more fun. Dress it up motherf-er that’s right. All I did this weekend was sit crampy on the couch and watch a fuck ton of movies. Stellar. Stir Craymi. Now I shall comb my twitter for funny crap I tweeted previously in case you missed it. Who knows maybe I’ll feel moved to elaborate on some things (and btw I just stabbed the inside of my mouth with a sharp piece of dark chocolate. Instant Karma. I deserved it.) Okay on with the no-show just shut up and enjoy it ILUKBYE.
Nomance. No Romance.
Contained in that world, simply, is everything when you have nothing. RTM – this is from the Proust Questionnaire I filled out last week. SO DEEP. I’m going to be some kind of expert advisor on-hand for a thing.
Finishing an article and hearing battle of Evermore, sipping a negroni, success.
Proust Q: What are your favourite simple pleasures in this modern world? – My phone, what’s left of my looks, booze, art.
Putting your shirt inside out the next day is a new outfit
Yesterday I missed the LCBO by 2 minutes. #fuckwednesdays TGIThursday.
#BartenderThumb
Last I checked they didn’t pass out medals for meddling, so.
It’s always fun/ny flattering waking up to drunk texts. I win. See you next time.
Looking at the url of the resto I’m dining at tomorrow. Deadly.
When in hell, keep going. Or go to snacks.
You may drunk text me. I am romantic like that. (got mad retweets).
Keep singing fattest man alive in my head instead of baddest man alive. #blackkeys
Watching (more so listening to) Like Crazy. I fear I will not like it like crazy.
Ain’t no party like a baked kale party ‘cept for maybe getting baked that’s a party too. 14 likes.
Secret dark chocolate bar. Dark secrets chocolate bar.
But I do enjoy wearing jackets as purses.
I JUST realized this stupid drink from the other day was non-alcoholic from seeing it at food basics just now #loser
Kickin it with Bing Crosby. Christmas for a half hour I say cos it’s kind of slushy white out & will be for 2 more months at least.
Raymuage.
You can cry over spilled wine.
Eating out the east end.
have we not learned anything about pyro yet #beyonce
Retro 60’s dance party for the past 2 hours I swear we’ll make dinner.
A drink called Penicillin & Old Fascist? Okay we’ll eat there tonight.
Spaghetti squash & Braveheart.
Soup there it is.
@nxnei: @raymitheminx is it the soup – or the Havana club getting you through winter” nothing gets by you.
I love winterwonderland magical live weather phone.
Watching Freaks and geeks.
How have I missed this film before? All star cast. Tommy Lee Jones, Kilmer… major recipe piece. So #RonHoward.
Sauerkraut sangiches #bradpitt.
everything about it is amazing. The dessert she eats. That pub. phonecall scene. ‘AU REVOIR, SHOSHANNA'” Mad about Shosanna.
—————
See how information after awhile all scrambled together, still telling the story, just looks like poetry if you let it. There’s a rhythm. Forgive me, I watched a doc/film on Ginsberg o’re the weekend and those writing hoots got me inspired again. He was in love with Kerouac, who is featured in the movie too. Gave me goosebumps. Gotta see On the Road. Maybe tomorrow? (Whoops too late missed it in theatre) Sorry to interrupt the crap.
—————-
Retro Cate Blanchett don’t fail me now
Putting out fire with gasoline.
Ray Charles.
and quail what I had had too.
Watching second half of Carnage. Movie I started watching a year ago. Lemme guess they yell and fight some more. Vive le Netflix.
Return to paradise is the orig Hangover ll.
Weave time. Weave me alone.
Thuperbowl.
Hunger Games. Way more indulgent.
Ain’t sayin’ it ain’t so bro.
slicing ginger for my carrot juice.
Buy the hype, sell the news.
That world it is melting.
Go be scene.
No context all pretext.
Full House makes me feel way too good.
I love it when Tim Burton stalks to me.
I feel like writing this VDay piece warrants a lot of boozahol but what doesn’t Lauren, what doesn’t.
No Peter Gabriel, in YOUR eyes.
Espresso. Four hundred of them.
If we’ve ever learned from movies it’s never trust mystery fridge brownies unless you have 12 hours to spare.
Lauren Writing.
Happiness curator.
It’s weird that people aren’t weird.
I’m almost thirty. I just opened a hot pepper sauce packet for the first time ever in my life. I haven’t lived.
Lets pretend we’re hamburgers!
The art of manipulative text.
I look like hipster my Nana.
completely out of makeup so we are hanging in the dark lol. one of those awesome girl days
Fungry. What else is new? What eating adventures will I go on today? Dear Diary, have a nice day!
Greasy spoon coma.
Does eating protein bar chocolate count as chocolate?
Tostitos commercials omg worst. Stop marketing women as boring hags please.
I’ll try. Not to cry. j/k. Love crying.
Friday I’m in shove.
Stop. Salad time.
Fan mail is increasing in other news. Like, nice mail. – raymitheminxATgmail.com BTW
I’m wearing snow boots to dinner tonight. (I did).
Two songs at once again #yolo #cray
Betty Grumble is amazing.
I dont need to talk about it I know about it too much live it the trick is to forget about it erase it disassociate from it.
The necklace I got Raymbecca – obvs I was drunk.
Was that “throwing shade?” Can geezers “throw shade”?
I have never been Lauren Whiter.(I miss tanorexia).
Oh great, more snow. That’s awesome. Thanks.
The emo artiste thing has been my thing since things were things.
this movie is equal parts scary and boring
I don’t know what I know.
Much better natural.
Because instagram forces you to crop it.
I remember when selfies were all I took until I made my blog world about other things too and told the story in that way. Now there are girls I see “on the internet” photo-blasting their faces off but when I do it (the odd once or twice now) I seem to get the most flack for it. Bizarre.
In any event I have things to pretend to do now so have a great one. I’ll blog my VDay article later if they run it today. xoxoxoo bro.
This post is a grower not a shower. Cooking and atin’ and drankin’ tunes.
Whattagwan ready for some tasty pics?
I got mad work to do if I’m going to be all fit and fab for my thirtieth. @_@ not to be a genius or anything but I don’t think bone marrow is very good for you.
These will be the ONLY TWO instagrammed photos of the post. Promise. I’m keeping it real no matter how I feel.
The east end is a nice little town. That it is.
This joint is a cross between Dick Tracy meets Great Gatsby. Everyone was dressed the part.
Yes I made up dickhead observations like usual but I was right and all in all it is a lovely joint with a great vibe and had a good time. Invented a new drinking game rapid fire resto naming and if the other dined there they got to go twice in a row eventually it gave way to just any fucking place in the city from diner to dive to all the upscale pretentious snooty awesome ones. I feel like foodies are huge prickheads myself included – sure sure $23 tobacco Manhattan (W.Lodge) lay it on me, right? Dickfaces who don’t care if they die tomorrow. I love it. Perfect place for you!
Apothecary bev called a Penicillin. Scotch-based. Lemon tart sweet and medicinal in taste. Raymbooze approved. Scotch tastes like paint thinner to me and the lemon cuts through it nicely and there’s a zap of ginger too. Replete with garnish candy yum.
An old fascist. The names of these drinks definitely had a lot to do with why we came here. Place being Goods and Provisions.
Don’t prick your tongue with this bad ass metal toothpick like I did.
Do eat the korean fried chicken.
I should have warned you this post was going to be intense.
Gone.
Then smoked ribs + a vielle carre. That’s that. Mi gone. Mi dun wid yuh. xoxo Workout tonight.
