suchi sticks? oh can i use these for noodles too? NO? strictly sushi, only work for sushi.
i feel like (get ready for another simpsons reference) homer in that episode when his mouth is wired shut cos his jaw is fucked and so he turns into this great guy cos he isn’t talking, just listening and everyone is enamored by him, well yesterday in the car i was quiet and it made me feel sexy. ha. i felt that fil was getting really into me i noticed he touched my hair more and my face when i wasn’t talking.
i think my brain is damaged.
anyway, i wish i could be one of those people who shuts up cos then i would have this massive entourage waiting for that special moment when i open my mouth and all passively say hey, and everyone nods furiously in agreement that they GET IT.
oh and i’m wearing white jeans and white running shoes, it would be a pretty amazing moment for everyone to experience, i will try and make it happen for you soon.
ok what else i learned about swenkas in the new vice oh they emailed me to write for them they’re not doing theme issues anymore so i have to come up with my own idea. HARDNESS! anyway, swenkas are these south african dudes what blow all their money on suits, like pimps that don’t pimp and they have little fashion shows every couple weeks and compete to be the best dressed just cos! i think it is adorable, and they want their sons to grow up to be swenkas, not garbagemen or surgeons or tennis players, they want their kids to just, be awesome.
Emma: i was having a fight with someone on sat night about it they said it was boring pah you are so right, what you said i am going to make some right now
me: what did i say? oh about eating what i blog about
Emma: you are going to love this HARD then hate me then LOVE me then gain four pounds. yeah you just dictated my life like that movie i haven’t seen with ummmmmm whoever
me: hahaha
Emma: no brain tonight anyway all powerful one time to EAT
me: ok
Emma: see your power i am now GOING TO THE STORE to buy macaroni
i’m going to the dentist tomorrow, i never said i was going to put it off, yesterday was hell with my mouth, fil’s mom gave me some orajel holy i just did ten bumps yeah.
we were not allowed to bring cameras to the velvet revolver show, too bad. when i walked in my eyes bugged out a mile, SLASH! SCOTT! MENTAL!!! and all the funnies with their long hairs and groupie sluts it was heaven. so good. so good.
we were going to go to the bovine cos there was an after-party or supposedly but halfway to radmad‘s car a moment of clarity overcame us and we asked ourselves if we were possibly that lame. i wanted to do blow with slash cos of my sore mouth.
we went home and watched ramsay’s kitchen, oh the sonnets i have composed in my head again and again for chef ramsay. what’s with the crazy scar on his chin? anyone?
i dreamt i was wearing red suspenders i think i might have to go and buy some soon. stupid dream.
remember when i dreamed about pepsi and then i bought some? of course you do cos you think about me all the time.
thanks everyone for the tooth advice horror stories i am never ever writing about teeth again next time i will blog about elbows and you will all have elbow advice, ha.
i have a lot and nothing to share, a lot of nothing, shit like I SAW THIS and THEY DID THAT etc. the bartender at neutral is a DICK or acts like one, he threw my money down after i paid like he was angelina jolie in gone in sixty seconds COOL STORY BARTENDER. hi i work in a basement dive, mediocre coolness basement bar and to wrap this cliche up full-circle i’m going to treat you like garbage day.
not cool.
i played megatouch alone in the corner while fil took pictures of this band love kills, anyway, the megatouch machine had 135 credits already in it, busted mayhaps?
i was still annoyed about the rudeness so i was posturing all hunter s. thompson with my jack daniels crouched in front of the machine and i could see through my hair over my face dude checking me out and maybe regretting being a dick.
doubt it, dicks who are dicks spend years refining themselves.
then we went to grossman’s to have our spirits crushed some more, holy shit, that place is usually SCENE but last nite it was heart-breaking, everyone hunched over asleep in their chairs, pints before them, their pictures as ‘regulars’ on the walls.
my fucking mouth is in a world of pain.
and no, anonymous person i am not pregnant, everytime i wear a peasant shirt or something that makes my body look retarded, someone says i am pregnant and it makes me kinda furious, do you go up to other skinny bitches who have a tiny paunch and ask if they are pregnant? holy rude. like i need that shit right now.
and to the dude who said my bathingsuit is “not so much” – you can die, slowly, and burn.
i fucking hate you all right now, because you have the privilege of telling me your opinions about me and my life doesn’t mean you should, i think i’m going to remove comments for awhile.
We’re daughters and mothers Not so long ago. We give and take And take and give Along time’s endless row. Love is passed And love received To be passed on again: A precious heirloom Twice, twice blessed, A spiritual cardigan.
I’ll put it on And treasure it, The me I have received, And when the roles Reverse again, I’ll have what I most need.
So may our love Go on and on, A hundred thousand years; Mothers and daughters, Daughters and mothers, Through joys and other tears.
guess what kids?! something NEW to complain about!!
i was dreaming that my teeth hurt really bad and i couldn’t talk and i was sobbing and trying to get words out oh it was horrible then i woke up about 6am and laid there really still thinking am i still in this shitty nitemare am i still asleep? cos my mouth really fucking hurt, even my brain and throat then i feel around in my mouth with my tongue and an explosion of pain hits me so i go to the bathroom and look in my mouth in the mirror and this is what i saw, NASTY GUMMY BLOODY SORE HURTNESS like that green day tooth pulling video but tame, so my bottom left wisdom tooth is trying to grow out via shoving its way through this bumpy gum part at the back of my mouth, normal i guess, but holy fucking painful. i had to take four ibuprofens and pray for sleep.
anyway HURTS! BAD! B A D !
on top of this i will be getting my period today or tomorrow so all the pain pills i take will be competing cramps vs. wisdom tooth and i can’t go to the dentist cos i have to stay with my dad he gets out of hospital sometime today so this weekend is going to be SUPER COOL.
how much does it hurt to have a tooth pulled? do they punch you in the face first to transfer the pain?
i kept thinking i am in any fucking mel gibson movie where he is too badass to go to a doctor.
went for an 8 minute superbed yesterday, my body is sore but not burned, it was just long/short enough that i am like brown/red.
we watched alpha dog after top model last nite, it is pretty good, some parts are cringe-worthy, but, still, i would say you will enjoy it. also, it is based on a true story, maybe if you are unfamiliar with the story you should pass on reading that wikipedia entry. i even cried at the end.
hurray i am in a depression spiral right now, i’m gonna meet fil for a late lunch.
riding the train pretty much everyday for the last three weeks, i have noticed many things, one in particular, people have let themselves go. women, specifically, wow. kinda heart-breaking. men always sort of ride the fence when it comes to letting-go, i’m just saying the ratio to babes vs. unbabes intrigued me in a depressing way.
remember when being a yuppie was in, say, mid-90s, it was all about cigars, martinis and pretending you were on allie mcbeal then there was a switch early 2000-2002 when it all changed, the dirtbags claimed it all, work a little, play twice as hard, when all the 9-5er yuppies were breaking their backs working overtime to make their beamer payments meanwhile their ladies are out banging greasy chuck taylored dicks, haha, yuppies.
then there was a who cares period, no one really paid attention to anything and now, i see, it’s back in the hands of the dirtbags, cos these ten-fifteen years ago yuppies are cruising in their forties now, and their faces show it, bodies, clothes, they’ve given up the dream, the spark and joy is gone.
sure they may hit the town here and there, but they seem like caricatures of their former selves, ie. dancefloor at the drake,
this isn’t exactly hard-hitting news i know, it just made me kinda sad for them, no one seems happy, work now, relax later type deal.
i’m happy the way i have it, i will never change, would never trade my life for those who tell me “get a real job” – why? so i can have a mortgage, high-blood pressure and a dumpy ass? no thanks.
one irony is, some of you dudes are yuppies or were, and you hit MY blog daily, for escape, enjoyment, whatever, and some do snap at me and get crotchety and bitter, but why? why should i or anyone be lashed out against for YOUR choice of career and/or lifestyle? i don’t get it.
seeing other people enjoy themselves and the paths they have chosen really pisses some people off, it’s like THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME i guess.
anyway.
i interned for a magazine when i was 17 and commuted everyday from ‘sauga to toronto, it killed me, but i was sort of awed by the corporate world, the professionals, like wow I WANT THAT TOO.
me: they bum me hard and they think that they dont
merkley???: well they love me — but they are so empty and shallow like you think that everyone is wonderful deep inside but its not true they are actually empty and even bad
me: they’re ordinary yet assume otherwise HEY HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT SONG BY GREEN DAY
merkley???: dangerously insecure and unaware
me: etc so you encountered some last nite?
merkley???: yeah — the newest club here for the yuppies used my photos as the table tops they actually look really good big etc fancy place etc so i’m on perm guest list and i know some of the yuppies but they really do bum me out they are so money driven
me: yes i was hoping for some specific dirt
merkley???: and they all talk shit about each other no last night i just had a depressing epiphany about them all this yuppie girl was trying to climb down my pants but it was only because she wanted to hurt this other yuppie girl i’m friends with they are all so awful even to each other competition — back stabbing etc all about social ladder climbiing
me: yeah they can shittalk their pals easy
merkley???: like they really see people as opportunities as a way to get what they want this one financial guy was there i’ve known him for a while but he really depressed me he only cares about success i was telling him i dont need a dollar more than i have and he was looking at me like i was totally full of shit like the idea was completely foreign to him
me: yeah you tell them something original they think they are the one to jump in and spin it like it’s a whole new idea like buddy today is YOUR lucky day
merkley???: oh man — the lame conversations were one after another last night
me: snore
merkley???: i was really just thinking “can these people really be this shallow?”
me: there’s good shallow and there’s bad shallow like talking about coolness, that’s good
merkley???: the good shallow is funny the bad is depressing and real
me: yeah
merkley???: right caring about cool and fashion is all good fun and honestly its evidence of a good person
me: it’s good to be confident but assuming you have the world in your pocket is this close to mental illness
merkley???: people who care about coolness are givers
me: yep
merkley???: people very concerned with adding to the pile thats why i like fashion kids they are pressing forward the yuppies just STEAL they wait for someone else to have a good idea
me: i know
merkley???: then they wait to make sure its safe then they tweak it a little and file the appropriate papers
me: i love when they tell me something i knew about already like it is inside info
merkley???: yeah way snore
me: if it’s on tv then it’s safe
merkley???: but they congratulate each other on their thefts
me: dont get me started on pink shirts they think they are revolutionary cos they wear pink
merkley???: yeah it’s gross
me: i have heard I AM COMFORTABLE IN MY SEXUALITY a million times is that sewn into the tag of every male pink shirt?
merkley???: ha they are bad people
me: i am eating a banana HEY GUYS I LIKE BANANAS i am walking a dog I LIKE DOGS
merkley???: whoa you admit that?
me: I KNOW, OUT THERE it might catch on
merkley???: you dont give a fuck
me: full-on
merkley???: thats why i like you
me: look out kids
merkley???: BALLS
me: i think i’m going to bring kites back next also yuppies are big on infidelity too, that’s another hateful thing about them
