i met a guy named ART once at sauble beach i was a teenager and just getting into dressing slutty, he had curly blond longish wavy beach hair, he was not an artist, he was a stoner. thought you might like to know that. his parents must’ve been total assholes to name him that. if my name was art i would never stop punching myself. art art art ART art looking at myself in a bathroom mirror i would have so many identity issues like more than i already have.
if my name was art.
in frank magazine they referred to me as raymi “the minx” white. raymi white is such a gay name. i haven’t thrown the g-word out in a long time, sharpie lectured me about it once and since then i feel like it should only be used for emergencies like raymi white or ART emergencies. anyway frank magazine you did not ask permission to publish and distribute MY photograph and profit from it so you either owe me some dough or a link on your website and way to go choosing a nipple picture i cannot even brag about it to my nana now, thanks. where was i going with this oh yeah, i’m tired of the minx handle i don’t do much minxing these days only back when i was 16 17 18 fuck i could ruin some old men’s lives if i wanted to.
i’m going to dye my hair black tomorrow.
this is what happens when i do not have access to pictures and the posting of them, shitty posts.
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we are babysitting the dogs here in oakvegas fil’s parents are up north i just made crap and it didn’t flush then i sighed waited flushed again and it went down and then laughed for five minutes at the thought of past occurrences when you wait for it to go down then it doesn’t you get annoyed and leave it for a bit go on to do something else intending to go back and deal with it later 10 out of 10 times you always forget and then fil goes to use the bathroom and finds my surprise the end.
yes that’s where we are at right now at this moment 1.48pm my headspace is unreal.
wow check my funbags in that bottom picture boiiiiing.
i am at an internet cafe and i cannot comment on my own blog.
clara in response to your out of control comment,
THE REASON SHE WON’T ANSWER MY QUESTION IS SHE IS A SPOILED SNOT NOSED TRUST FUND BRAT WHO LIVES OFF HER MAN’S MONEY AND IN EXCHANGE SUCKS HIS DICK AND LIVES HAPPILY EVERY AFTER BECAUSE SHE IS A CUM GUZZLING HOOKER. BUT AT LEAST SHE IS GETTING PAID TO DO IT. THAT IS ALL. clara |
no, i do not have a trust fund i would love it if i did and would certainly lord it over your piece of shit face if it were so. no i do not live off of my boyfriend either, i never said that i did, and i am tired of people assuming that i do – i make my own fucking money i do not rely on a man’s paycheck, fil wouldn’t be with me if i was like that and probably couldn’t afford it. be realistic. i make money off of my art, i just sold a painting for $600 for example, i make money from ads on my blog and from my book and other ventures that aren’t your fucking business and would be unprofessional to mention on my piece of shit juvenile entertainment blog so blow me you cunt and keep reading my blog and jerking off to my boyfriend your life will never be anywhere as close to awesome as mine is. aimoo was making a joke about it in my comments because we were discussing people like you a few weeks back over drinks one nite, she was making FUN OF YOU you tool.
74.97.147.224
ps. you live in mississauga, have fun with that.
-your mother sucks cock in hell.
also, it shows how crazy people get with me here, at first it’s casual, subtle what do you do then zero to psycho if i don’t respond to a fucking question that is at base RUDE and ignorant to ask, i owe you people nothing, don’t ever forfuckinget that, everything i choose to share here is a gift, don’t piss me off.
did this for fil’s mom’s birthday, it’s remy, the oldest dog and i think the faved one.
and because i know you care:
what do you want to be when you grow up?
a whore like you
this store is called i forget but it’s beside the rivoli on queen, they change their display quite frequently and they always feature slutty little girl models my favourite to rip on.
i would wear that ‘kini. i’m going to show up to your party wearing a big hat like that and act like it isn’t a big deal.
nice try you are wearing that gypsy shawl to cover up razor burn i know this because i have a crystal ball.
when you’re done can you scrub the kitchen floor thanks.
i think you could be wearing more necklaces. go big lady.
your friend is REALLY short. anyway when i was younger that outfit was my fantasy dream outfit when i would go to bed at night i would picture myself wearing something like it and all these hot older dudes would be fighting over me i really wish i was lying about this.
i have bought this before and i did it again, it is the most undelicious thing ever, i gave the other half to a crazy homeless guy pushing a shopping cart on spadina circle i bet when he ate it he was like that fucking bitch!
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darian zam sent this in and titled it COPYING RAYMI:
haha “sent this in” like i am an office.
if someone can find a copy of frank magazine before i do please do there is apparently a photo of me topless in it, fil wants to know if it is one of his.
i just got my first pair of $300 pants from tnt ok they were 50% off but still, STILL! fil blew his top til we got home and he calculated our “the books” to see how in the black i am once and for all and then he apologized for being mean. the pants i bought the other day from h&m that i blew my mind over being some sizes smaller, welp, they are already too big for me, i told the chick uh i think i’m like such and such a size and she looked me up and down and said sorry no you’re not and threw a pile of small pants at me i hope all you cunts are crying at this post i hate you.
except for the cool ones.
that store completely overwhelms me in my head the whole time i was thinking ok they don’t WANT me to buy anything here they don’t want me to have skinny jeans that’s how severely neurotic i am.
fil didn’t end up getting anything (it was his idea to go there) so that he can continue to brag to me about the last time he bought clothes for himself which was like when dinosaurs existed uh dude that’s because you just got a 2000 dollar camera!
lets top this piece of shit off with how skinny i look today:
those are my diaper superhero underwears with now a massive hole in the back i will never give up, i get smaller and they get bigger fil has some underwears that are so repulsive they make my genitals wrinkle outside-in anyway i will wear those black underwears until they completely fall apart to spite him. i guess its time to clean the bathroom.
i explained to fil the reason girls have to shop every three seconds is because they are unhappy with their wardrobe, in short, themselves, and they are searching for the ultimate piece to unify everything, they cannot bring themselves to make that one big expensive purchase that would just thwart the urge to spend on many inexpensive things altogether, it is too much, buyer’s guilt, remorse etc. but if you just fucking do it once and for all then it makes all the shit you already own come together as one. we are always forever searching for the perfect pant, and when we get it, it is like falling bareback down a rainbow of dicks flying in your face and vag and the craziest earth-shattering explosive ‘gasm is at the bottom like when you have dream ‘gasms and you wake up and say to yourself i just blew my load infinity times in my dream, that’s what it feels like when you are alone in the changing room looking at your yet to be purchased purchase.
what a treasure this place is forget what it’s called but it is essentially the only not chinese japanese italian restaurant on baldwin.
i had to beg fil to take my picture he didn’t feel like it so i gave him the ice queen until he realised he didn’t have to use flash, i had cramps.
chicken quesadilla despite ordering chorizo ate it anyway doesn’t it look like a pillsbury toaster strudel mmm i used to eat the shit out of those guys. another raymi diet tip is, order whatever the fuck you want and get your garbage disposal boyfriend to eat half of it say do you want the rest of this and they are so elated by the question they snatch it up before you change your mind and shove it in their maw and then you don’t have the option of eatfest 2007.
fil had chicken enchiladas.
porque?
oh. shocked.
taxi driver de niro?
i think stephen is psychotically in love with me what do you guys at the office think?
hi wendi. man i am just so fucking beautiful sometimes.
nice blue hair pfft way to clap there hombre.
radmad has a great story about fighting with the barmistress and almost being escorted out i hope she blogs about it so i can interject and rip on her.
kept fucking up this shot and these four perv dicks wearing their out on the town button down winners shirts were at the end of the bar gooning at us.
this is what our foyer looks like every morning.
same backroom when mg played koolhaus for a corporate gig. he was a surprise guest for all these people who completely went bananas for him and they were all in work attire.
super brand new facial expression.
haha dave blinking in the background BURN.
BIG ideas, man, HUGE. fran has my url written on that paper he did it himself i am a golden god you are not.
as we were leaving and fil was in the can dougie ran out and i am like you are awesome and he came over to say bye and radmad tried to hog him so i just shoved her the fuck away and got this picture, i won.
did we go home to do it or plough through a bag of microwave popcorn?
we saw travis last nite it was beautiful and we got to meet them too don’t worry i didn’t say anything embarrassing other than i have the biggest blog in canada, fran was impressed with how long i’ve been blogging for and i told jian ghomeshi that he is on e talk daily, star tv and radmad said he was THE CATERER! well he told her that, she believed it. i gushed to travis that i saw them when i was 17 when the koolhaus was the warehouse, I I I ME ME ME got fil a photopass and we were going to trade it so i could go to the front lines for a bit but GUESS WHO STICKS IT TO THEIR FUCKING T-SHIRT!? fil isn’t even into travis, that would be like me getting to blow david suzuki and fil only gets to wave to him from across the street. stephen was a prick as usual, he lost it over some nigel guy i dunno radiohead big deal or something have you heard of this band called radiohead? wendi wasn’t boozing it FOR ONCE (heh), other dudes from sony bmg were there and they all got my autograph you’re welcome guys.
oh please, do, go on.
this is a little more accurate.
sorry the MOST HAIR IN THE WORLD!
that used to be a dress.
bla bla bla i love you i’m glad i didn’t share the story about getting a silk cut off one of them back in 2000 come to think of it that might’ve been off one of robbie williams’s band members pfft.
i am REALLY FUCKING ANGRY HERE fil had just informed me about sticking the photopass to his t-shirt i fucking knew it.
dude is in hell hey can you top up the carrots?
stephen’s dick is seeping, while me, a smart person, set my shit on attainable, more realistic goals.
uh what secret are you revealing? speaking vaguely about a secret is not the same as revealing it. F.
well with that negative attitude it WILL BE.
um so you burn churches now? cool story hansel.
so you made a postcard about it and sent it to postsecret, yes that is very un-big deal of you.
i dunno why postsecret puts these ones up, it’s terrible, this person has big issues, it is unethical and if i saw someone kick an innocent animal i would slam their face into the pavement – on sunday someone had replied to this postcard and said ME TOO they are like soccer balls, that comment is down now. it stopped me from doing this whole postsecret burn post, anyway, disgusting.
who goes on vacation with their sister? 34 YEAR OLD LOSERS WHO LIE SO THEY CAN PARTY WITH THEIR HARRY POTTER BOOK. you are going to die alone.
i knew a girl who was sentimemtal about grade 6 and she was sad about grade seven being over and in grade eight she was bummed about elementary school coming to a close before the year was even over what the fuck MOVE ON GROW UP. ps. FACEBOOK you genius.
you should go on a date with vacations with his sister guy. cough*mental problems*cough.
ok fine i love making fun of hippies but walmart? you blew it with that one.
i SWEAR i thought i cleaned that mirror not too long ago.
so the ours show last week inspired me to up my fucking asshole a bit and write some sort of guide to insecurity, so here we go kids, flying by the seat of my pants here, feel free to offer up some ideas yourselves in the comments, don’t pretend that you have lives cos i know you don’t!
i am going to base it principally on chicks who go to concerts alone, so give me a break here, i can’t write about the entire world, yet.
SHOES – they have to be big fat skate dunks, vans usually, or etnies if you’re feeling outside the box. your shoes are little messages to boys that you are a-ok to stand beside cos you got the same footclothes on and phew cos girls are scary don’t talk to them they will bite you and say mean shit about you to their supermodel friends.
POSTURE – you have to walk like an old man and make your spine curve over and you tiptoe around and if you are in anyone’s way whisper sorry and look down at the ground and let people by you and be as invisible as possible if i can see you for more than half a second from my peripheral vision a monster will come and tear apart all of your journals RUN you are a shadow.
HAIR – pulled back into a ponytail bun, mousey-looking, fly-away frizz everywhere, this helps accentuate the tight black choker necklace you wear religiously. oh and you wear glasses too.
ok i am getting bored of this, basically you are kinda cute but pretty fucked up and unawares of that, you’re unassuming and you wear big pants for some reason like you just left velvet underground, you’re shy and awkward and something really traumatic happened to you once that i don’t care about cos you can’t bring yourself to care about yourself, you have zero self-esteem i am going to hell.
oh you carry a big bag too that has a really long strap and it hangs around your knees and there are lots of things in your bag that you don’t need but might need.
