finally fil did some of his CiRCA pictures, do you know how long i have been bugging him for this guy!

peep gill’s jugs!

i didn’t know you could bring in couch cushions.

i am inventing martinis tonite with mandarin absolut

one will be with gingerale

and one with red tangerine fanta

and then orange gatorade

and then i will be walking through the park without pants, see you at 11.

wait for it

champions of nothing raymi makeup time video.

i’ll share my shitty pub story later, basically i can’t do math and all pub waitresses are gossipy hags, especially the 20-something ones. enjoy my premenstrual breasts.

kinda sorta fixed it i hope you like garbage art.

GUESS WHAT JOURNAL TIME!

this is my walking journal from england. it’s pretty uh, over the top, you’ll see who am i a fucking poet where are my cigars, where’s my tweed coat with the leather patches!?

this is the other side.

some of it was written before i left for england, there are loads of quote rip-offs, plenty of my own geniosity too it’s hard to determine what is what, that deleriously happy line is from meet joe black, haha. that flower used to be purple.

well at least i am prepared for the victory’s next spoken word.

in my later years in highschool during classes i was extremely anti-social, if people see you scrawling in a tiny notebook they leave you alone.

rufus wainwright sigh.

how to not get laid should be the title of my next book.

jeeeesus.

upside-down writing i meant business!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA this is KILLING me!

what a poseur i couldn’t even spell merlot right.

“the loo” take notes madonna, british slang doesn’t work.

oh this is when i made the biggest fucking mistake ever!

this entire thing is filled.

canada didn’t have sugar packets like this yet.

liane is my little asian friend who was in my exchange program, from toronto. for some reason she liked me.

after the program was over i stayed an extra two weeks with friends of the family.

i guess we can file this under the losers who read my blog who doubted i ever went to oxford category.

this is you.

right as harry potter broke, didn’t happen, i think i told some people it did. sorry dudes.

my room was the party room and thus there was graffiti all over the walls and i had to scrub it off before i left, i did 1/10 of it. burn.

high on E when i wrote this haha mom/dad you thought england kept me out of trouble!

almost finished don’t worry.

here’s the main one i kept, for the writer’s craft course we had to keep journals oh SO HARD throw a challenge at me will ya. i also had to keep a scrapbook.

Tony: fils gonna be so rich when you die

me: !
why would i die first
why cant i be rich now from this shit

Tony: you might be able to
but when you die – oh man
gravy train
as 2pac

me: sigh
fucking world!

Tony: yep
you could do the excellent fake yr own death thing
which would be impossible for you though cuz youd have to be quiet for a few years

me: yeah i could blog under an alias
wouldnt the money profits go to my family tho
another reason why fil should marry me

in other news OMFG!

and how does it feel to die?

sadness shawarma

after the first bite (which is the best cos they put a huge glob of creamy sauce at the tip) my sadness flooded away, most of it. good news friends! something annoying happened at the pub we went to last nite to watch the game, now i have something to blog about. brb!

haha it seems my sadness has infected the internet everyone is fucked right now, and, i think i’m pulling out of it too. sorry.

can people planning to join in on team blogslayer for oct. 26 and oct. 27 please leave comments or start talking to each other about it, leave suggestions, i propose for BEFORE matt’s massey hall gig oct. 26 we meet at mr. green jeans because it is a lame enough spot that it won’t be too slammed on a friday nite, it is v. close to massey hall as well. even if you aren’t going to the show you can still come and get my autograph, no hiding in the corner and staring at me like last year please. for the saturday, tony wants to hit the fox n fiddle for karaoke, i suggest maybe getting a private room (elsewhere) instead just to increase the mental retardation a tad, but i need to know how many people plan to come out that nite oct. 27 and if it is worthy of being stuck in a room with all of you, bonus side is you can be a mic hog and there are black lights and you can sneak in booze and they don’t care if you smoke so, everyone would have to pony up some dough for the room though, how responsible are you guys? …. i am officially stressed out about this, not as much as last year though, cos i was fatter. everyone vote, do you want lame free karaoke or cool $ karaoke?

inspired by depression outfit

not my turn to clean the bathroom.

false pockets, drive you mental when you get trapped in an OCD spiral you keep trying to tuck the loose inside white part in but there’s nowhere to tuck, why god WHY?

as threatened, i cut the shorts shorter so in the ass it looks a little um, interpretive? that’s if you interpret dumping in my pants!

+++

i am totally fucking emo thank you premenstrual/being sick/autumn/wet hair/zit/bad breath/retarded distended starvation belly/ingrown hair in my pubic region i keep inflaming that won’t go away/short fingernails/nothing fits right/finished reading my two books/sore throat etc.

cid just meowed and it made me more sad. kidding, he’s been ignoring me all day except for when i shared some prosciutto with him. i am at the last remnants of my makeup jar that makes me sad too and i was near the end of my conditioner, yep, sad again! i am too sad to go see the darjeeling movie and i am too sad to buy a curling iron something i have been planning to do for months. i am wearing black tights and red mary janes and my new dress but i am going to put on some other retarded outfit instead because i am letting sadness make all my decisions for me today ahha my postsecret post making fun of self-loathing, i’m going to take this blog back to 2003 pre-nervous breakdown, all emo, get ready.

postsecret rippage time! i stopped doing these posts cos reading those postcards bum me out hard, not cos i get emotional over them or anything (pfft) but because it shows how truly stupid, self-indulgent, and self-loathing humanity is, and every other postcard is about abortions and how guilty women feel about them. anyway more on that later.

someone’s been reading too many romance novels, i’m glad that right beneath this one someone commented I often think about what I would say in the trial that never happened for the rape that did. here’s a thought, how about often thinking about more productive things like how the planet is MELTING and maybe spreading the word about that instead via a postcard and NOT about your fantasy rape you are too ugly to have happen to you!

uh, this couple in particular? one word comes to mind and it rhymes with barf, no wait, it IS barf! stop picturing me and fil doing it you horny weirdo!

try harder kid! i smell BLAMING YOUR PROBLEMS ON OTHER PEOPLE much? your life, your problem, walk it off.

you must’ve been wasted when you wrote this one, what’s with the apostrophy w/ sometime‘s? yes that is the only burn i can think of.

ok you are asking for it, how fucking revolutionary i swear you must be the first fucking one on the planet to have that urge thank you for putting it into words for the rest of us, BRILLIANT! on sunday when i looked at the site there was a comment so stupid it has since been removed, something like yes i’ve done it before too and it FEELS SO GOOD!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN!

here is what someones else had to say i still have mine too, after a year and half. only two people know about that secret, and its right there in my purse and anyone could see it if they looked close enough. in a way, i think i’m holding onto it the way you hold onto any receipt; if you’re unsure of your purchase. and then another person said this I went to the same exact clinic and I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

i am SO TIRED of hearing sob abortion stories GROW UP! call oprah while you’re at it, and, in the words of some rich old white guy, tommy, DO THE RIGHT THING!

yes i want to debate this, do you guys eat eggs? yes you do. do you cry when you eat eggs and keep your egg receipts? ungh i can’t do this. you are not mary magdalene, no one cares. also, 450 bones? i have a feeling your guilty conscience might have something to do with oh, brainwashing, come to canada next time and get over yourselves.

GOOD!

holy martyr complex much, because YOU lived i breathed easier? not really, thanks for the weed though!

finally some forethought into this embarrassing cutting bullshit, too bad i am still calling child services you emotional pile of shit.