Why are you so rad? Oh, I know… it is because you are everything that is right in the world. J/k…you are everything that is beautiful…whateve’s…just don’t ever stop doing what it is that you do…much love from LA, Ca. 90031.
Phil is the luckiest guy in the world and you are the most beautiful and intelligent writer on the web. Your use of your computer inspires me everyday. Thank you for your artistic work. Jack K. would be very proud.
I can’t wait to meet you one day (creepy much?).
Stoner bowls and orgasmic rolls…
Later,
mike Mr. C | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 10.18.07 – 1:17 am | #
i think i know how i am going to die, my death will be caused by a freak dance party accident, and by freak i mean drunk.
i call this the praying mantis, make yourself as tall as possible, for no reason.
then dance like a stripper.
challenge someone more inebriated than yourself to a dance contest.
this one’s especially attractive. i don’t think those pants will survive winter.
perform “the (secret) spill” when people give you shots you didn’t ask for after having five already because by that point they won’t take no for an answer, say thank you take a sip and OOPS it onto the floor and keep partying.
the postcards taped to the left pages were a big deal at the time, england used them for advertising before canada, and everywhere we went we tiefed loads of them and could not believe they were free.
my dorm was right beside harrod’s.
my writer’s craft classes were at imperial college.
oh what a whimsical turd i was.
i think i added that part in after my teacher finished reading my journal and graded me. anyway, i was paralyzed for two whole minutes (terrifying, felt like forever) and fucked up my knees on that harsh british carpet, from ketamine + 30 thousand drinks the nite before.
i think this is an irish joke that i changed to canadian, basically if you are about to get in a bar fight say this line and raise your fist. my teacher told it to us and look he corrected me by crossing out the of, haha.
the guy who gave me K and tried to give me his apt. key too, i met him the next day for a big mac and then he stalked me until we left london, he even got into our dorm, luckily i was out that day.
i went out by myself to eat and get loaded and then sat with this guy from america for dinner and got him to pay my tab. lonely people are easy, myself included.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA! gear! madonna, remember what i said.
i want to punch the word whilst in the fucking head even though i still use it.
oh what an insight, friggin’ rocket scientist.
everytime i hear while my guitar gently weeps i think of this day, the mental picture hits me hard.
little kids are cuter in england.
was either hung or drunk or both when i wrote that.
this is the business card jamie and i (mostly jamie) designed a few years ago when i still had raymitheminx.com then i lost it and said fuck it i don’t want .blogspot on a card anyway now i have it back so i’m having these printed. no phone number on it tho i’ll write that on it if the person is so lucky, i left it out in case i decided to stick in a couple for people who buy paintings and other junk i mail them.
+++
if you could ask wes anderson or jason schwartzman a question, what would you ask, you as in me, because we went to go see the darjeeling limited last nite and saw a sign that they would be at tonite’s screening instead so we bought tickets. so far my question for jason is: if, you could, have, MY PHONE NUMBER, would you want it? and for wes: do you want to see my boyfriend’s renee zellweger impression? oh no i don’t have a question about any of your movies, they’re perfect. oh one more thing jason, why did i heart huckabees suck so hard? fil wants to ask jason if he wants to BE tom cruise or have sex with him.
too bad i will be sober and therefore have zero comedic timing so i cannot go the route of refreshing dude-voiced eccentric hot juvenile how did she get in here anyway?
we had sober nite (thank god) and we watched the reaping, you know the biblical plagues movie? it is good and scary but for me not too scary even though there are lots of jump out at you spooky things, i just couldn’t let myself fall into the suspension of disbelief (shut up i took drama) because of the religious angle, i don’t believe in it. whereas a movie like texas chainsaw massacre i can be for real scared cos the guy isn’t raining frogs and lightning. still, see it if you haven’t already. the way it ends there’s a possiblity of a sequel and the little crazy woods girl is that bridge to terabithia chick and she’s all dirty and weird and wearing a red dress.
i like her cos i like to think that one day when i finally lose all my marbles i will live in the woods barefoot and run around mute and dirty.
i have finally decided that A CASUAL GENIUS: THE BIGGEST THING THAT NEVER HAPPENED or even THE BIGGEST THING THAT NEVER HAPPENED is wickedly unjustifiably pretentious sounding for my next shitty book so those won’t be the titles, it will be something way more simple. just sharing.
my phone bill from going to woodstock is 181 dollars don’t text me for awhile y’alls.
change your links you dinks cos raymitheminx.com is back in my hands insert mad crazy bitch cackle!
ignore the part where i look like a man, instead, look at how blond my roots are.
ungh i don’t know why i took these i look like greasy shit, we had to run out and pick up something from citytv our friend won off breakfast television, it was not worth it. 4 VIP “gala” passes to take back the nite, girl drum circles for STOMPING out violence, at lulu lounge, uh sorry but drum circles MAKE me the opposite of non-violent. there was a gift bag too with ome tacky ski jacket looking bags. i was accosted by a street kid too he said he liked me and did i want him to be my boyfriend, uh yeah did you not just see me step out of my boyfriend’s car? yes ok fine i want YOU instead.
renee zellweger was on oprah yesterday.
my body is only craving garbage right now. fil and i used to eat these four times a week no wonder i was a blimp.
i’ve had that pin since grade seven, there’s dried resin tar gunk all over the back of the pokey pin part from cleaning out one hitters haha.
1) Is lingerie an appropriate gift to receive for Christmas?
YES BUT USUALLY EVERY GUY GETS IT WRONG SO DON’T BOTHER GIVE MONEY INSTEAD.
2) What if it’s from your boyfriends’ parents?
SURE BUT WHY WOULD THEY?
3) And is a ball-gag even considered lingerie?
NO WAY
4) Is it acceptable to re-gift?
YES BUT IF YOU GET BUSTED IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT.
5) What if it’s a sex toy? (but it’s totally been washed)
GROSS.
6) Is it okay to have a few drinks at the company Christmas party?
GET BLASTED.
7) Is it okay to get drunk and sing Jingle Bell Rock topless with that intern from the mail room?
N-O YOU FUCKING LOSER. UNLESS YOU WORK AT HUSTLER OR SOMETHING.
8) “It’s the thought that counts” – true or false?
TRUE IF THE THOUGHT IS BEING LAZY, SELFISH, AND RUDE.
9) Is sex ever an acceptable substitute for a Christmas gift?
ONLY AFTER I OPEN MY PRESENTS.
10) What if you’re the one that forgot to buy a present? (this applies to everyone from your partner to the mailman. Say what you will, but my Victoria’s Secret catalogue has never been late)
i am still loads sick, the nite before last’s sleep was terrible, as was last nite’s, i decided to switch sides of the bed with fil, bad move, it was like shitty bizarro world on his side i can’t toss the covers the way i like cos then he wouldn’t have any. my throat is so sore, my eyes are stingy, we wen’t to noah’s yesterday and the smell of the soaps and lip balms put me over the edge. rented the lives of others last nite, it is good and long and german.
guess who just ate 4/5 of a tim horton’s breakfast sausage/egg/cheese sandwich LEAVE ME ALONE fil ate 2 and the rest of mine!
oh man based on wendi’s photos, i am afraid stoked to see fil’s!
