happy birthday mom i love you!

i bought xmas cards because i am a grown-up now.

dinner.

pleasethanks VOTE RAYMITHEMINX pleasethanks.

oh hai there.

i wear that dress everday around the condo because i am a nana.

thanks rilah!

ice cream espresso, i bought ultra low fat vanilla, WRONG. the first few sips are good after that hello taste?

looks like icing mmmmm icing.

that’s a fat mirror, it was here when we moved in, fil refuses to believe or even entertain the fact that I AM RIGHT about this. within the frame the mirror leans slightly forward from the top, thus making it a fat mirror, had the mirror within the frame lean out from the bottom it would be a skinny mirror, the fact that it leans forward from the top is because it is mounted 180 degrees on the wall if it were on the floor leaning against the wall rather than mounted then i would look like a toothpick did you guys know i was a scientific researcher? ok no more mirror pictures until i clean off my makeup stains.

so, bought REAL cranberry juice, 8.99 a fucking bottle, and bought two of them.

wait what, who put that thare?

quite tart, had to add water to it and some cranberry/grape cocktail.

and here we have the party face.

if you haven’t read the basketball diaries, you should. i’m re-reading it to fil on a drivies.

vote for me polls are open for barely two more days, then this all will go away.

it makes me laugh a bit to see those conservative turds talk about me so much right now and say how i am unoriginal and the way i blog is easy, for me it IS, but for others to immitate and keep up with my content and constant documentation of my life, i see no one else doing that, it isn’t so easy. first of all you have to have a life. i’d like for the competition to show their daily goings-on, but they can’t, cos they’ve got nothing to show, because they have no lives and if they did share them, no one would read their blogs.

sharpie got the green soya guy, sorry luck of the draw lady.

kristin opened a special bag of bags specially for my present, sigh. i’m kind of in love with her and when we talk i can’t even look at her and it’s been over five years since i’ve known her and i am still a fucking moron everytime i see her ungh! hi kristin. she sneaks in secret trinkets in all my magic pony purchases too.

my hits are kind of exploding right now everybody so if you wanted to share in the wealth of that you could interview me or something, something. only if you’re voting for me constantly of course.

i’m thinking if your kid is small enough to fit in one of these dudes they probably shouldn’t be sitting in chairs, oh well, cute as hell regardless.

i was too shy to stand for longer than one second to get a better picture of the saturday miss b’havin model. i almost did that saturday gig once, they give you 50 dollars cash, or a hundred dollars in store credit. i was already modelling at the time and then came to my senses, why would i stand in a window display for 8 hours for 50 bucks when i can lie on a bed for 20 dollars an hour playing on the internet and make commission on top of that? anyway that model was nice and waved at me even though i was speed-walking by like a crybaby sometimes i am just too pathetic for this world. at least i am cute and get away with it.

this game is kind of ridiculous, you are basically in a frat house party from the 80’s and you keep breaking make-believe goblets of wine and smashing entire bottles of scotch and you have to take a drink on every square you land on.

dream, co-starring raymi

thanks
brian bernbaum

merkley???: raymi the stinx
gaymi the dinx

me: oh this is new

merkley???: laymi the finx

me: turkley
HAHHAHAHA

merkley???: shaymi the jinx
pay me the kinx
slay me the twinx
play me the kinks!

me: what do you want merkley

merkley???: do i have to WANT something now?
am i BOTHERING you?

me: what personal story about merkley do we discuss next!?!

merkley???: like i’m more about me than you are about you

me: apparently

merkley???: please

me: thank you

merkley???: you just decided a while ago that you need to give me shit for some reason
what was the change?

me: you mean how did i get some self esteem all of a sudden

merkley???: see?
like whats that about?

me: im making jokes
i have to make scrambled eggs now

merkley???: ok

me: im allowed to be catty sometimes too

merkley???: NOT ALLOWED
YOU BE PLEASANT
i’ve been buying tons of vintage sunglasses on ebay
i’m like an old housewife on the shopping network

VOTE HERECLICK HERE VOTE VOTEVOTEFORRAYMITHEMINX

dinky and i had a nice little dinner at the vaginabeaver on saturday.

this time they weren’t out of the avocado jalapeno salsa, not very heavy on the jalapenos tho, oh well for 5 bucks who cares?

fil had the smoked chicken quesadilla, very good, very very very good.

and i had the best $10 salad in all of toronto, prosciutto with extra virgin olive oil, shaved fennel, reggiano etc etc BONER (thanks again sheena for the tip).

then we went over to the tequila bar on ossington (reposado) for sharpinator’s birthday and surprise samir proposed ENGAGEMENT celebration party!

that place is wicked claustrophobia, i would like to go back on a quieter weeknight and get blasted.

we didn’t stay long, too much party farty these days, we caught the rest of snl and sucked on some wine kbai.

VOTE HERECLICK HERE VOTE VOTEVOTEFORRAYMITHEMINX

that pretentious bitch who is beating me in the polls is telling her readers if not to vote for her than for someone else other than me cos she doesn’t want me to win secondplace, she wants 50% of the votes, baby much? i’m trying to even have stockholm syndromesque feelings toward her but i cannot, there is just nothing there to have feelings about, no art, no substance or soul, and it’s sad that this is what the majority of the nation seems to be all about too. basically, they have determined that my blog is only popular because of how i look, yawn fine. rip on the artists cos you’re so good at it, offer government grants for other people to create art for you because you have no idea where to even begin, then talk shit about the artist sucking from the government’s teat. the gov. HAS to dole out artist grants because it doesn’t have a creative bone in its body. not to get gay about it but i don’t know how these people can read books, attend plays or look at sunsets and feel human? i do not feel bullied, i am past caring. i am up against a link-dump portal blog, no personal content to it at all, the sorts of people who visit those blogs do so to get their news and then carry on with their day, robots if you will, i am nothing like that blog, and i never will be.

here is my olive branch for smalldeadanimals. cringe!

not to make you guys jealous or anything but i bought vanilla ice cream to put in my espresso in lieu of milk/sugar. when i lived in brooklyn we found a perfectly good cappuccino machine on the street and one day we ran out of lesbian soy milk and sugar so i said hey lets add ice cream, best idea ever. brb.

Hey Raymi–

I have dutifully voted for you every day….from my three work computers…my laptop….my remote IP address, and my thumpy thumpy computer. I even pushed some lame ass hipster kid off his laptop last night at the bar to vote for you.

I just realized that it was last year around this time when I started reading your blog, while actively, in fact RABIDLY, voting against you and wondering why the fuck anyone would vote for you.

Cracked me up it did.

Good luck!

A

2girls1cup.

just epic. now watch other people’s reactions. i ate a plate of eggs then watched it for the first time. have fun.

don’t forget to VOTE again, boringland is still winning.

november 2006 archives part deux.

when we went to see buns ‘n noses and the videos from it.

emm at the mod club.

ok espresso and then i have to refine it

and immediately went into slut airhead pose

aw its sweet that you are so supportive of my eating disorder

what else is njew

thanks guys.

my brightest diamond w/ pedestrian at the drake pics

and the shirt strikes back

this painting is still around.

we have two rancid bags of 2 per cent just sitting there.

The only reason I vote for you on any of these dumb awards is that you already totally don’t give a shit about any of us.

For some reason, that strikes me as hilarious.

ungh remember the milk bag fight? the comments are all there still.

just some pics no biggie.

so then i told him what my burrito intentions were and i think he pretended to feel bad this is a good story.

um i do not want to eat a bag of seeds for dinner

meet sabrina

thanks for spying on my blog and ratting me out in advance ya’ll!

if i wanted to learn about gay politicians i would READ A NEWSPAPER

there’s nothing more amazing than people arguing the same side of the fence.

michael douglas as dad is exactly how he was in that other wedding movie he was in like fuck off already with the father of the kid getting married movies and stop with the kung-fu i am a millionaire master of my domain moves already you are not the boss of the world nor is your hair and you have shitty comedic timing and when i picture you having sex with catherine zeta jones or making out with sharon stone, i barf through my nose.

LESBIAN DYKE MONSTERS

interesting how i am still pretty unknown to many on the internets.

Mike: it means you actually have influence – which must drive them crazy

BUT THEY LET THE WHITE PEOPLE IN.

dear internet

it is imperative that you vote for me tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that, the votes i have already will not be carried over into round 2 so basically round 1 was just giving everyone a heads up on how obnoxiously lame and naive they are to my following, mostly these people are political windbags who started blogging last week and they are all saying that i am posting nudes as a ploy like how convenient of me to do that – hey listen up geniuses, EVERYTHING i have done EVER is a ploy that’s how you become famous on the internet, not by writing about bathing your son or planting sage in your fat ass garden you have to be good looking and smart and funny, sorry, remember highschool? well this is it all over again.

kinda ironic they drop the faggot bomb meanwhile they are four dudes w/ no ladies watching daniel craig in a tiny bathing suit movie.

**UPDATE i would also like to add how funny it is that these political bloggers cannot fathom losing to me, not making the top 5 cut like only just now realised how boring and vapid they are like a politically opinionated blog isn’t a fucking dime a dozen and if i wanted to be the top 1 in that category i could but i choose to deliver fluff and funny cos the world is full of bullshit and i think it is important to give people a break from all the boring chaos – oh really? so and so in the house of commons said “bla bla bla” last nite and this is what you think about it and everyone in yer webring wrote the same thing today? astounding. wait, what? tomorrow you will quote verbatim something from the business section of the national post?!?! I CAN’T WAIT POST IT NOW NOW1!!!1NOWWWWWWWWW!

ZZZZZZ

in which case shut up

look pretty safe to me blogTO interview raymi.

i have a serious question for the christians or whoever believes in god – does god read blogs? and if so, does he read my blog? if the answer is yes, why doesn’t he leave me any comments? or, why doesn’t he leave you comments, cos like, you guys are friends, right?

blogging is a sickness

when brad pitt tells geena davis’ husband that he met his wife and then air hump simulates boning her, that’s funny.

oh noes the boogieman!

me butchering karaoke amazingly

Which celebrity do you hate the most?

i want to say paris hilton but that’s too easy she’s like default hatred but i could still see myself hanging with her maybe one afternoon and then i point out everything about her that is bad. i don’t hate celebrities, i prefer to hate real life people, like, right-wing fag haters.

people go on the internet to ignore the fact that they are fucking losers

what the fuck do you do kid, lay sod?

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don’t pretend that you are not a fucking bitch to me in front of my boyfriend.

fil came home for a lunchtime visit/mooching.

now onto the funny

goats are hard to draw.