i put up some more picture from nola if anyone cares.

maybe this is why they cut my shorts?

omfg! ahah oh canada love the relevance of this fact The town’s website says it’s famous for a herd of rare white moose that lives nearby. here‘s another article on this mysterious thing. don’t let that train anywhere near toronto dudes!

oh yeah i also had a to bribe mary-ANN into hanging out with my last nite i said I WILL GIVE YOU SOME CLOTHES and then she came over i was like fuck now i actually have to do this. i gave her my american apparel blue velour shirt (don’t even have it in my colour anymore) that i could have gotten ten million dollars for and my 80s red and black striped shirt with the zipper i got from le chateau in manhattan when i was 18 and this guy at a bar told me i looked fucking awesome like so madonna in it once I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON IT MARY ANN!

kidding, sorry you ralphed.

oh great fil is home, now he gets to see how i live like a sloth all day long, shower time guys.

after strong-arming alicia into coming to hang in my hood at green room last nite i bailed and convinced anti-social feeling poopee to babysit me instead and we got tanked after eating sushi and watched the king of kong a fistful of quarters oh man i HATE billy mitchell SO MUCH! read this fourfour review of it. and then we played cooking mama i think poopee barfed when she got home oops. oh her real name is mary. the only reason i bailed on risha was cos this guy was not feeling “on” yesterday oh and i didn’t wash my hair and all of alicia and her friends have like perfect girly hair and outfits, not a good posse to immerse yourself in when you’re feeling off and fat and suicidal. what else. oh we went to big sushi for a change, not bad, the waitresses say EXCUSE ME when they bring stuff to your table every time kinda cute, i saw the dude who thinks he is hunter s thompson that i wrote about before seeing him at the xiu xiu concert:

there was this cat in the very front we were commenting on during sunset, he was sitting alone, skinny, old man detective hat, glasses, chewing a tiny stogey, reading catch-22!!! he was hunter s-ing out hard, not even the coolest of cool can pull that off seriously. anyway he was in the same spot all nite long and was really feeling xiu xiu like understood the clanging you could tell to the very being of his soul i said to fil he must be thinking the chick working the keys is the yin to his yin.

full blog post here it’s a winner. ok i’m going to update this now cos alicia is frothing at the mouth for something to read.

ungh i have a sake beer cider wine headache and cramps and i think there is an exercise conspiracy against me in this building cos someone actually cut a chunk out of the shorts i wear when i work out not a tear from the washing machine and if i cut them i would have noticed ok uploading a picture of them right now, first the weights and ab thing i use and mats are removed NOW my shorts oh this is so seinfeld i think i need to get a job and away from all these squirly fruity old fruit loops who constantly feed me dirty looks even when i hold the door open for them cos their arms are so puny and ancient. do you know what it feels like knowing that the person who is fake smiling at you is bitter and hates you for no fucking reason and you encounter one of them every goddamn day right in the very place you live every old lady here is a total witch to me!

for seers where did the rest of that blue piping go?

Highwaisted: no update yet, coooooome on

me: well then why are you going to write a post that is going to hurt peoples feelings as long as i am at the top of the list

Highwaisted: oh thank you for the cute clothes/hair comment. that is fucked about your shorts.
very strange.

me: true true can you picture fil as a junglist

ALICIA’S MARIJUANA TEXT:

I think since I’ve started blogging I have become much more aware of my surroundings, like I take a deeper appreciation for every moment that passes because I always rate it on whether its worth writing about. And yes I am stahoned.

AHHAHAHhHAhAHAHAHHAhAHHAhAHHAhAHHAhHAHAhAHHAhAHHAHAhAhAHAAAHAHAhAHhahaHAhAha

what to do when you are an out of your mind period monster

dudes i posted this like 25 minutes ago and already over 160 people have watched it wtf my blog hasn’t had that many hits in the last 25 mins who linked it or who is perving to it hardcore?

ok now we’re at 201, guess this retarded outfit and dance ensemble is finally takin’ off?

update 834 ha ya pervs

yes i realise the majority of hits are from people searching ‘modest mouse float on’ ahhahah

cleaned kitchen.

tried to work out, lasted 15 mins.

picked up cid for a poor me hug, backfired.

now i will read in the tub and drown in my tears.

KIDDING i meant slit my wrists.

double kidding (everyone knows when i kill myself i will be in a wheelchair and i will gently wheel myself off a cliff) gonna read in the tub until i am finished reading in the tub then i will go eat all of toronto and buy wine and THEN i will drown in my tears.

somehow my exercise shorts got mangled wtf? i’ll show you a picture later and why does it smell like crazy varnish pcp outside fully regretting opening the sliding glass door.

well at least i don’t look like this:

i mean WHY DON’T I LOOK LIKE THIS??????????????!

no one wants to hang out with me for my fil-free play date tonite FEEL SORRY FOR ME RIGHT NOW!

dudes i think i’m high from that varnish, score.

oh boy NOW look what i’ve gone and done!

BYE!

coug skirt (was my mom’s ha!) $5

the back

it’s a biggie, you can pull it down over your fat ass or you can rest it on your love handles.

suzy shier tent

was also my mom’s too big for my taste but pretty cute reminds me of the budweiser golf girl commercials.

$5

h&m what used to be a hoodie, i removed the hood, $5.

i think it’s a size 8.

even though fil had pints at lunch.

we couldn’t agree on a movie to see (rilah we will burn through that gift card yet don’t you worry) so we saw nothing, fil didn’t want to go down to paramount where we could have seen harold and kumar (why i don’t know)(ALSO i think we could have used my gift card at the bar there so there’s that covered) and i didn’t want to see iron man (yet guys, yet, don’t lecture me about this movie what’s premise looks no different than hulk or any other marvel movie but mostly hulk)(ps. i’m basically getting aunt flo today so you know what my delicate state is like) and fil doesn’t want to see any other movie at varsity even though it is my turn to choose the movie we see also hello it’s MY gift card, ungh. so we stayed in watched antm and rock of love and then i started feeling antsy and stir crazy and wanted to go out to do something and fil turned it into a big drinking metaphor and snapped at me for turning on my computer and the nite went to shit. we toyed over going out or just staying in the more i whined and felt like YOU DON’T GET WHAT I AM SAYING then finally said nah forget it lets just stay in as it was close to 11 by then. i’m so bitter over it i don’t even want to do anything tonite. then we watched tv and i read my stupid book and couldn’t fall asleep til 2 anyway.

i met with syd yesterday to give her the argyle sweater and i took her picture on this tree bench and some fat white bald guy walking by with pizza barks at me be careful it’s a tree (yeah i know idiot) like clearly it is a goddamn tree and don’t talk to me annex! what was i going to lift it up over my head and throw it into traffic?

if you need me i will be fuming on the couch.

MOM DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!!!

enjoy the mundane.

right now i’m uploading the gayest video ever (look up /\) where i am wrapping mother’s day gifts and i make ten million double chins in it (can’t help it i come from a long line of fat face talkers)(thank you kerouacs!) it shall be processed shortly. so i guess these dumb pictures of me are to make up for the fatness of the forthcoming video. MOM DON’T LOOK AT THIS POST OR WATCH THE VIDEO EITHER AND TOD DON’T SHOW IT TO ANDREA (FIL’S MOM)!