he hates the tinkling sounds, refuses to miss the unloading of the dishwasher for the world, despite them.

fil says these shorts give me moose knuckle ungh FUCK FIL! he tells me this in the parking lot of loblaws no less totally cock-blocking my game so i was self conscious walking around the supermarket all i needed cos i was dressed like a total whore already thanks. i also had a starvation headache and a bun head headache.

ian commissioned me a million years ago to paint him something and i am finally getting around to doing it. it must have the appearance of length and be a fuseli nightmare, somewhat. i’m going to flank each side of the canvas with raymi style roman pillars/columns? DON’T COPY MY IDEA! this canvas is 18×24 (7.99 from midoco! so cheap! i want to buy one the size of an entire wall! 47.99!)

we did this recipe for supper.

in lieu of wasabi paste and mayo we just bought horseradish mayo and it will blast your fucking head off.

cut up too much peppers didn’t bother slicing the other half of the yellow guy, we used arugula instead of watercress, tasty.

try to get the carrots as matchstick as possible cos if you load up too much mayo you will be stuck chewing forevs and your nose will start running from the hot.

blurry cos i was so excited, let the steak sit for ten minutes once you remove from heat and before you slice it up.

mayo plop, then arugula, then a carrot yellow and red pepper, try it that way first then add or remove whatever you fancy, it’s perfect the way it is though.

i hope you’re not starving right now.

i like prepping meals like this cos you get fuller quicker from waiting it out and you eat less, well until your wine munchies kick in and you go for round two.

i think i’m going to go off red meat for a month and see what that does to me and my heart and my waistline.

i would make these again, very easy and tasty.

my defective party socks and trying to nap away my hangover during a LOUD rehearsal, didn’t work all it did was make me cranky.

fookin’ starved i found some pizza pizza marinara sauce a tiny shovel and someone’s leftover soup crackers.

me: they took away the ab thing i use in the gym and the mats and little girl weights wtf more proof i am hated in this stupid fucking building
I HAD TO DO SIT UPS THE OLD FASHIONED WAY!

Phil’s new status message – Telethon – Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton 4:47 PM

me: and my hair is in a bun and it is hurting my head
oh and dont think i forgot to save the laundry for you to do when you get home i think ive done it 4 times in a row by now or something
i painted one of the big canvases
i am a machine
oh and i had spinach too
FINE I WILL TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE
you’ve been blogged
oh nice the fact that yer listening to emily haines was also captured
burn

++

who speaks spanish? tell me what they’re saying about me here, scroll to notorious b.l.o.g. third posting down.

aimoo and i spent the afternoon together yesterday (her birthday) we went for the sush then got some cider and played cooking mama it was a nice time. oh and i dyed my hair while she worked on cooking mama, she has the jones for that game big time now, anyone who plays it gets it bad.

what is up classy bitches?

favourite packaging ever!

haha total award for least false advertising in a product category cos yep this is exactly how douchey you will look when using one of these.

i forgot how pale black hair makes your complexion.

uh right mandy we get it, embrace your womYnhood. barf.

doods, how’s it hangin’?

i wanted a better pic with this car but fil had to pee, thanks fil!

homemade rush fan sweaty, $10, bought it in williamsburg.

dunno what size it is (no tag) but i’d guesstimate at a men’s small, women’s small/medium? with extra bulk to grow a belly in.

size 12 (dudes tellin ya i was chunkay, h&m, $5.

pretty much as small as it’s going to get, it hasn’t been washed too many times.

so if you have the love handles like i do then this dude is for you and just to avoid any and all raymi you still look fatisms here i am in the nakes + pre-menses bloat:

size small, $5.

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

so your hero finally saw that worst piece of pretentious shit EVER movie JUNO last nite, w/ fil, we watched it late, til 1.41am and were pissed off the entire time, in fact the fire alarm went off due to flames from my bangs from rolling my eyes so fucking much GOD who was the first person to hype this film? it wasn’t even good! the acting and the overt witty (not even) dialogue matched terribly, like, diablo totally kevin smithed herself, how can everyone in this small white bread town speak exactly the same no matter age gender occupation you asshole. fil scoffed so many times i had to shush him like don’t make this harder on me THAN IT ALREADY IS! i was prepared to threaten the movie store dude to not bloody tell anyone that i rented this movie, i wasn’t even going to tell you dudes, but it cashed so hard i couldn’t keep it to myself. fil kept saying you know we are going to see it eventually, so i gave in to the hype. ugh i wish i hadn’t. if this movie is supposed to be witty and clever and fresh (fresh according to oprah)(i’ve seen fresher dog turds) then i’m not an unemployed blogger. weak weak weak, every dick who told me this is a good movie you are in the bad books, don’t think i’ve forgotten who you are and now thanks to this film ellen page is going to be in every other clever movie that i’ll have to chug wine through just to deal, oh yeah i do that anyway but you know i’ll have to like, drink even more. and don’t you dare for a second tell me that i didn’t “get it” or that the “funny” went over my head cos i’m pretty sure i’m ten times wittier and hella more sass-mouthed than the likes of any of you are i mean really, who’s blog are we at right now? if i could throw this dvd into the sun i WOULD and would fully welcome the replacement fee.

when i remember more things i hated about this movie i’ll let you know.

oh yeah, the glamorization of teen pregnancy was pretty solid too, kudos and how uncomfortable was it trying to watch them talk about music ungh so phony.

this is what i think of juno:

I HAVE BLACK HAIR NOW!

pretty gnarly looking right now paired with its sleep sweat.

oh my god i look like a witch.

apostle of hustle band tee, pretty much brand new barely ever worn i mean have you seen pics of me in it aside from the day i bought it (two canada day’s ago? same day i saw kiefer sutherland playing pool at the horseshoe (I KNOW OMG!)!)

you’ll probably never come across one of these bad boys ever, fil was way bitter they didn’t have boy sizes.

american apparel size small

on the back, purchased at that free feist/ apostle performance at harbourfront cos it got wicked cold out once it grew dark and i was under dressed.

THOSE COULD BE YOUR NIPPLES PEEKING THROUGH DUDE!

ten bucks ya turds.

see, room for more fatness.

this guy, medium le chateau sweater i wore basically just once, purchased on impulse for $70, you can have it for $15, it’s been washed already so i don’t think it’s getting any smaller lest you wear it and wash it like mad.

front

back

warm as hell

angora yo! dig that whimsical soft shit or what?

look at how much fun i’m having! all this fun too can be yours for the low low price of fifteen dollars!

it’s either you, or charity, so think about it.

doesn’t even smell like BO!

this guy, size 8, h&m (duh), ten bones.

more later i gotta hit the road for a sec.